Hi. My best friend is going through a very rough patch in her marriage. No infidelity. I recommended the Harley books to them and they have both read and loved a couple. She feels they need outside help and wants to use Steve Harley. Does anyone have any info on him and how well people like him as a counselor?

SW,

Can't Hurt.

If they like the books, then tailoring the idea's to their specific issues would probably help.

SFB

I spoke with him once and I was impressed with how he tried to build my empathy for my husband.

I had just climbed a 14er and he compared that experience of viewing the world from a different perspective as my husband was called to do after my infidelity both insightful and persuasive.

I found the forum (looking at you Mel) so toxic that when I was meant to have a call with my husband in the car on a long drive I was too scared to do it. I had no way to get out of the car if things went south and Steve started attacking me as I had been led would be the case on the forum. My husband asked what had happened about the call and pretended I forgot or something.

It’s been 11 years and I’ve had time to think about it and what I have concluded is that if you are willing to put your imprimatur on hate and rage, as the Harleys did (or maybe still do — haven’t looked in years) with their forum, I don’t want you in my life.

Still looking at you Mel.