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Finding my way back to update #445385
03/30/21 02:22 PM
03/30/21 02:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 30
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2close Offline OP
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2close  Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 30
Wow!
I haven't been here in such a long while so just a update how things are going and a few thoughts.
I haven't seen or heard from the X since the last time we had court around this time last year which should of been the end of it... finally.
The OW was of course present, holding the X's hand literally. I think I have disappointed her when my lawyer told the X's lawyer I did not care if she were in the room during the process, in the past I opposed to it.
My actually words... if she has the need to hold his hand so be it, she doesn't bother me, I can care less about her.
My lawyer was impressed about how far a long I have come.
I just told him she's nothing to me, she's just there and is his problem.

We all entered the court room. OW sitting behind the X and his lawyer against the wall staring at me during the whole proceeding, my guess trying to initiate me, like she actually could.
At one point my lawyer and X's lawyer had left the room to talk, leaving me, X and OW alone in the court room.
I wanted this all to come to an end once and for all so I looked directly at my X and said to him...
"You're the one who wanted out of the marriage so you could run off with the OW and to just do what he agreed to so we can just be done with this. It's costing more money for us than it needed to be." (OW made a sound like a little snarky laugh when I said," so he could run off with her")
X was just over talking me for he didn't want to hear me speaking the truth of the matter so got no answer.
It must of sunk in for his lawyer stated that X wants this over with so it was settled to what we agreed too in the Divorce settlement like it should have been all along.

After the hearing was over we were walking out down the hall my lawyer was making small talk with me asking about the grandbaby and my daughter. I answered with pride how prefect she was and mentioned that daughter's b-day was the following day... I was unaware that X and OW where walking right behind me listening to what was being said.
Not sure why or what reason but X texted daughter following day for her birthday in which daughter did not respond.
X not had any contact with the kids for almost a year, not even when our daughter had the baby (1st grandchild) in which he has not yet meant.
The last time he had contact was with our daughter was literally on her birthday one year ago.
This is when daughter made it very clear that OW was not going to be part of her life and was not welcomed.
This was when X made the decision to choose OW over our childern.
Heard nothing more from him until after she and son texted him a week or so later for X's birthday which he responded with just "thank you's".
We thought that would be the end of it but X contacted both kids a day later.
X was at work so he was away from OW.
First he contacted our son in which I was truly surprise that son even responded.
Daughter sent a pic of his grandchild then all contact ended after X saying he will talk to her again soon,
she hasn't heard from him since.
My thoughts are that he is waiting for them to make contact with him again.
Well 2 months past heard nothing from him until Son's Bday when he contacted him to wish him a happy birthday... kids hadn't heard from X since.

The kids reached out to him on Father's Day that he responded some to.
That ended quickly when son asked his father to get together possibly go fishing as they always had.
He too haven't heard from X since.
Heard through the grapevine that X and OW are outcast from a lot of friends and neighbors and X is miserable.
Thinking he actually thought everyone was going to be okay and accepting him and the OW.
I am thinking Karma has finally caught up with him and hopefully OW.
As for myself I have been getting settled in my new home and spending a lot of time with my grandbaby and kids.
I can say on most days I am pretty happy.
Of course there are days when I go back there about the X but it doesn't last.

A year has passed since; Holidays and Birthdays came and gone.
Kids didn't heard from X on Holiday but he sent a quick text for kids' birthdays... but nothing more after that.
X still hasn't meant grandchild who will be 2 in a few months.
It's a shame since he always wanted to be a grandfather.
My take is X is so filled with guilt he doesn't have any idea on how to
repair the damage he has caused nor how to ask if he can meet his grandchild.
Also not sure if he is even allowed to without OW being present.
I do know he is working a lot more hours in which he has [Bleep!] and blamed me for doing due to bills, of course this was not true for I had paid most debt off and were very financial secure and I was after him to slow down.
Well, it looks like he is in more debt now and has nothing to show for it which is of course caused by all his doing.

As for me things are going well. I am enjoying my grandchild in whom is my world. I am getting things done around my new home making it mine. I had to down my lifestyle some but I have been finding out what is more important.
I love my home and the warmth it brings when I have my family here.
My job is going well in which keeps me busy.
My health hasn't been the best but it is improving.
I am still dealing with issues from the divorce which I thought was finally done with. It's been two years since the divorce has been final and still dealing with things that should have been settled. X's lawyer is the problem.
My personal take on it is he just bleeding more money out of the X, which he is very well known for.
.
The Pandemic hasn't changed my life much but things are still getting better.
I can say considering everything going on I am pretty content and happy.
I don't have anyone new in my life but I'm ok with that, of course some days I get lonely but doesn't last very long.
I don't go looking either for I am my own person and I like doing things that I want to do when i want to do it and not worry about someone else taking my time away from doing so.
Maybe someday I will feel differently and may meet someone but for now I'm fine with it.
Besides with the Pandemic it's a little hard to meet anyone anyway.

I also have been spending more time with my sister since her and her husband spilt which helps keep each other busy.
I also got myself a new pup and he keeps me busy... 3 lbs of mischief!
He's a little handful I tell ya but he is the cutest lil pup and keeps me laughing!
Now that the weather is finally starting to break I can get some things done outside around the house that I have been wanting to do.
So yes things are going well and I really enjoy being on my own.
It took me a little while to get here but I'm here and doing great.
So yes, there is always a light at the end of what seemed to be a forever dark tunnel...
it just takes time to reach it, but you eventually do.

Re: Finding my way back to update [Re: 2close] #445386
03/30/21 10:09 PM
03/30/21 10:09 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,115
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SmilingWife Offline
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SmilingWife  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,115
Wow thank you for the update. If is really nice to hear how well you are doing.

Re: Finding my way back to update [Re: 2close] #445387
03/30/21 11:32 PM
03/30/21 11:32 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,671
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Blair Offline
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Blair  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,671
2Close, you sound... AWESOME!! Your update is fantastic! You have done well in healing and detaching and finding peace. Well done!

And thank you for sharing. I love to read a good update. It's too bad X made those choices to destroy family relationships, but it's not your problem. Totally on him. Hugs! And keep moving forward. smile

Re: Finding my way back to update [Re: 2close] #445400
04/08/21 12:38 PM
04/08/21 12:38 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,875
Marta Online
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Marta  Online
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,875
Glad you are doing well.


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