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Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444336
10/31/19 07:29 PM
10/31/19 07:29 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,883
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Orchid2 Offline
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HI
My dear LG,

My heart hurts for you to see you suffer so. I can totally relate and understand the disappointment you feel towards your spouse. It is with deep sadness to be related to a person whose job is to protect you and your family yet chooses to abuse those very same individual. Bet he still expects the world to view him as a good H and father. frown

What I will share is that it is better to know and acknowledge how your H truly is vs being ignorant or in denial. This alleviates the stress of carrying guilt about his conduct for which there is never a valid excuse, to be emotionally abusive. angry

Still you do have moments of joy and happiness. Welcoming a new one into this world is a happy event for most and I hope you get to enjoy being a grandmother.

Making those memories are precious.

hug highfive thumbsup

Take care,
Orchid

Last edited by Orchid2; 10/31/19 07:32 PM.

Orchid
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444337
10/31/19 10:31 PM
10/31/19 10:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,570
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Blair Offline
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Blair  Offline
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Congrats on the coming baby! Enjoy these moments with your kids.

Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444344
11/04/19 12:49 AM
11/04/19 12:49 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,208
Monterey, CA
Fiddler Offline
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Fiddler  Offline
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Originally Posted by LadyGrey
I’m limited in my replies because I can only access the site through my phones history — otherwise google tells me it’s an unsafe site and won’t open it. I’m assuming everyone has this issue.
There is evidently an issue with the site certificate that can only be resolved by our tech goddess AR. In the meantime, however, don't be scared off by dire chicken-little-esque browser warnings. If you see and "Advanced" button in your browser, click on that - you should see another page with more dire warnings - and a link at the bottom that says something like "Proceed to marriageadvocates.com (unsafe)". It lies - proceeding to marriageadvocates.com is quite safe (i.e. don't believe everything you read on the internet!).

I don't have any advice or suggestions - although I did just finish reading a book that you might find interesting. It's called "The Five Invitations" by Frank Ostaseski.


"Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me."
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444461
12/24/19 05:15 PM
12/24/19 05:15 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,405
Not quite here
Squeaky Tree Offline
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Hi Lady Grey,

I'm interested to hear of your latest but am pleased to hear of the joy that you h Ave with the coming of this new baby. Congratulations!

It's a nightmare place that we continue to live in


Married 22years (this year) ~13y since dday(?)
DD17 DS14
Which way do you like yourself? ~ Stosny
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444574
01/07/20 05:25 PM
01/07/20 05:25 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,655
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LadyGrey Offline OP
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LadyGrey  Offline OP
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Quick update.

I went to see my dumbass doctor brother in the hospital in Houston. He thought it was perfectly fine to walk around with blood sugar over 500. What a putz. He had to be hospitalized for 5 days to get the number down. Idiot.

Anyway, I was walking his dog and fell over the dog and broke my elbow badly. That was on 12/18 and I couldn't get surgery (my FIFTH of the year) until 12/26. Not a great time of year to be walking around with a broken arm! It's on the mend but I'll be surprised if I ever straighten my arm or touch my nose again, and that's really OK. I'm tired of not being 100%. I felt like death for a week after the last breast surgery which was the week I had 18 for Thanksgiving and then having 16 for Christmas with a broken arm was a beating.

The baby is late. She's going to be induced tomorrow night. They do it at night now which I think is weird. The average induced labor is 24 hours which seems excessive. I only induced one of my three and had him 5-6 hours later, but all of my labors were short and I gather they stagger different medicines now instead of giving it all at once. Any L & D experts out there?

I'll keep y'all posted! If I can figure out how, I'll post a picture.


Bidden or not bidden God is present.
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444577
01/07/20 07:34 PM
01/07/20 07:34 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,883
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Orchid2 Offline
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HI
Sorry to hear about your accident. You have been through a lot in 2019.

You are the 3rd person I've heard of with a broken arm or wrist in the past 3 months. Can't find the broken arm emoji, so here's a hug...... hug

Please take care.
Orchid


Orchid
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444584
01/08/20 12:27 AM
01/08/20 12:27 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,570
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Blair Offline
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Blair  Offline
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Baby photos would be fantastic! Looking forward to those.

Glucose at 500??? Just, wow.... your brother will have to learn the hard way about that. Ouch.

And hugs, LG. Broken stuff and surgery sucks. Hang in there and do extra self-care for you.

Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444587
01/08/20 11:08 AM
01/08/20 11:08 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,405
Not quite here
Squeaky Tree Offline
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Squeaky Tree  Offline
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Not quite here
That's a long old time to wait for the surgery. Good luck with the recovery.


Married 22years (this year) ~13y since dday(?)
DD17 DS14
Which way do you like yourself? ~ Stosny
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444636
01/16/20 03:58 PM
01/16/20 03:58 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,655
L
LadyGrey Offline OP
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LadyGrey  Offline OP
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L
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,655
Eight pounds 11 oz, 22 inches long and feet as big as my youngest when he was born, my youngest being 6"5".

He's going to be called Oliver and he's gorgeous.

He's a good baby. My daughter, who didn't sleep through the night until she was 2, does not deserve a good baby.

The most interesting thing so far has been the light in my son's girlfriend's eye when she looks at Oliver. I've never seen her as particularly maternal. They should be getting engaged any day now.

In other news, my youngest son went on a diet without announcing it or making a big deal out of it and has quietly lost about 40 pounds without whining or really saying anything. Women don't do that -- we tend to announce to all the world that we are on a DIET and it is SO HARD to watch others eat [fill in the blank] and after struggling mightily we lost 8 oz. in 3 weeks.

He's using this app called fitness pal (I think) that calculates how many calories you should eat and tracks exercise. It's a "no cheat" diet. He weighs all his food, even at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. I am so impressed. This is my kid that I used to say would sell me for a peanut butter cup and didn't care about school at all. Now he's on this strict diet and preparing to apply to medical school.

I view my youngest as a hot house flower that just happened to bloom on my watch. His success has nothing to do with me, but it's still delightful to observe.

The moral of the story is that you really don't know what your kids are capable of.

My marriage remains less than ideal. When he is around, I make myself as small and quiet as I can. The constant criticism just wears me down, so not making mistakes is of paramount importance. Why I married someone who has such a poor opinion of me is one of life's great mysteries. Sometimes I day dream about what I might have accomplished with a mate who supported and believed in me -- , but alas that was not to be.

He's coming home tonight so I'll use my meditation time to shut doors, fold thoughts and feelings ala Marie Condo, and place them neatly in boxes for locked closets. I visualize all that -- put "HOPE" in with "EXPECTATIONS" but "GRIEF" gets a box of its own because it is so huge. "ACCEPTANCE" can stay out, but "RESENTMENT" has to be locked up tight. "AGREEMENT" sits on top of the large, locked box holding "RESENTMENT" to hold it closed.

Apropos of nothing, can y'all believe the sheer number of football games on TV? The only way I know there is anything else on is when he's gone. I'm a reader so I'm not much bothered but I am shocked nonetheless every year.


Bidden or not bidden God is present.
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444639
01/16/20 04:20 PM
01/16/20 04:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,124
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Fergie Offline
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Posts: 1,124
Originally Posted by LadyGrey
Why I married someone who has such a poor opinion of me is one of life's great mysteries.
I've been here ten years reading your posts. Your opinion of your husband isn't any better. Like SmilingWife said, crazy breeds crazy... or to put it another way, as far as partners go, you were the best both of you could do.

Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444640
01/16/20 04:22 PM
01/16/20 04:22 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,405
Not quite here
Squeaky Tree Offline
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Squeaky Tree  Offline
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Posts: 5,405
Not quite here
Congratulations!

💐🥰

How much of the time is your other half away these days?

Sending a cosy blanket curtain to wrap around you and keep him out.


Married 22years (this year) ~13y since dday(?)
DD17 DS14
Which way do you like yourself? ~ Stosny
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444642
01/16/20 08:31 PM
01/16/20 08:31 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,883
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Orchid2 Offline
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Grandma LG,

Aloha no kahi keikikane hou (translation: Congratulations for your new baby boy)!!!!

So happy for you and love the name Oliver. We had a family friend many years ago and his name was Oliver, his wife's name was Olive. Isn't that cute? smile

8 lbs 11 oz and 22 inches? That's a big boy. Mine was 7 lb 12 oz and I thought he was big. Never felt like I had a little one. When he turned or moved, so did I. eek smile

As for those boxes you mentioned, maybe time to downsize? It's a challenge for me emotionally and physically. Yet with each improvement it becomes easier. I just posted to CP about 'self-worth'. I think we all could use some encouragement in that regard.

Btw, my house like my life isn't big enough to warehouse unnecessary emotions or boxes. There may have been a time where we thought those things were necessary but as we mature, we find some are not so necessary, maybe they never were necessary. That's my POV and while it is challenging, the air around me is improving.......circulation of life is better as a result. wink

Hugz to you and your new addition. Glad his mom is getting acquainted with motherhood and embracing it with care and love.

Glad to hear your son is working on his health. Mine seems to be headed in that direction. He is making some improvements since returning from his grandfather's funeral in CA. Positive improvements including opening up and talking about his feelings. smile

All the best to you and your family,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444648
01/17/20 05:02 AM
01/17/20 05:02 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,570
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Blair Offline
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Blair  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2014
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Congratulations on your new grandbaby! Hugs, LG.

Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444653
01/17/20 03:05 PM
01/17/20 03:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,038
holdingontoit Offline
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Posts: 7,038
Congratulations. Soak in the love. Have you considered obtaining a grandma apartment near the baby? When your H comes homes from out of town, be with your son and his girlfriend and the grandbaby.


Solutions? There are none. There are decisions.
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444675
01/21/20 06:52 PM
01/21/20 06:52 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,749
NewEveryDay Offline
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NewEveryDay  Offline
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Posts: 8,749
Congratulations LG on your new precious grandbaby and special times with your family!

And I'm so proud of you for kicking the vaping habit!

I heard this song today from TobyMac, one of my favorite singers, who lost his son a few months ago. It made me think of a lot of things, but also you and your dear nephew. I hope in the joy of today that the grief your dear nephew is the last thing on your mind today, but I wanted to share this with you for the days that grief may revisit.



"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444676
01/21/20 10:10 PM
01/21/20 10:10 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,073
S
SmilingWife Offline
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Congrats LG. I hear grand babies are the best.

That is super exciting too about your ds losing so much weight.

Btw, I don’t recall using the expression crazy breeds crazy. Certainly not in reference to you.

Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444855
03/17/20 03:38 PM
03/17/20 03:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,655
L
LadyGrey Offline OP
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LadyGrey  Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,655
My children have me quarantining in place. I believe it would be easier to escape from East Berlin in the '70's than to get past them. Since I dislike intensely anyone telling me what to do, I'm constantly plotting to get around the restrictions. But I'll be good.

I did have an epiphany. I look at my health history and think "man, you are strong --you got through all that, you'll get through the coronavirus" and my family looks at my health history and thinks "OMG, she has no immune system." Hence their hysteria.

Like everyone else I'm having a hard time keeping myself entertained. I don't have a hobby to speak of. I've designed a vertical garden for a back wall in the yard but I'm not allowed to go to Home Depot for materials. Hilary Mantel just came out with her new book (FINALLY!) so I'm making myself start the trilogy over before I can read the third. I started making sourdough bread but my husband doesn't really like it.

I confess I popped into a weed distributor and picked up some gummies for the coming weeks in the house alone with my husband. I'm still allowed to take walks so I'm doing a lot of that.

The baby is PERFECT and beautiful and funny and enormous. I'm not allowed to see him though which is really rough.

How is everyone else holding up?


Bidden or not bidden God is present.
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444856
03/17/20 11:23 PM
03/17/20 11:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,570
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Blair Offline
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Well, too bad your H doesn't like the sourdough bread. Do you like it? Sourdough makes a tasty grilled cheese with soup.

Hugs, LG. You got this. Just one day at a time.

Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444857
03/18/20 02:45 AM
03/18/20 02:45 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,883
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Orchid2 Offline
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LG,

You have a family that cares. May seem a bit stifling at times but it gushes with love. cloud9

Sounds like you are keeping busy. Wish I could clone you and bring you out here. wink

Out here businesses and schools are looking into closure processes. Starbucks is only open for drive through and to go orders only. I was thinking about all the folks that use places like Starbucks and libraries for internet access because they have no internet access at home. Hm......

I've been participating in some chatrooms for business owners and employers seeking to keep on top of how their businesses can handle staffing and management through this crisis. Out here in HI, we have at this time 3 confirmed cases. Doesn't sound like much but we are an island so we are always in close contact on many levels.

Elderly and those with compromised immune systems are sheltering in place. Care centers are limiting their use. Schools have added an additional spring break week.

Good thing is out here there is a 'low wage' state unemployment program so employers can at least for about 2 months as needed can have their FT employees file for low wage to provide partial income. Sometimes it is a difficult thing to educate employers to use but I'm updating my clients as needed.

I think my plumbing clients are going to be busy. Other businesses maybe not so much, so the economy will slow down on many levels.

Not recycling newspapers right now. TP shortage has happened but they are shipping more from the mainland. I've always said the most important paper in our homes is 'toilet paper'. smile

Thanks for your update.

Take care,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: My Gratitude Journal [Re: LadyGrey] #444890
03/31/20 03:40 PM
03/31/20 03:40 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,206
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LivingWell Offline
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Posts: 5,206
LG, please don't try to get around the kids and quarantine. It's no joke where I live. And it will get worse before it gets better. I'm happy to stay put until this is over. I am blessed that my kids are all close enough to drop food to the porch. I'm cooking a bit for pick up.

I heard of Zoom this past week when my whole family did a visit with my grandson. Maybe you could do that with your grand... it was pretty cool. You can chat and play and read. I'll bet that your grand would love to have books read to him that way until you can get together in person again.

Stay safe and be well. smile

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