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Re: And life goes on..... [Re: Blair] #441024
02/04/19 01:32 AM
02/04/19 01:32 AM
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Mun,

It was nice to hear an update from you and your family. Time does fly by. My father's death made 1 year last Sept and the wounds of it all (including the memorial services) are still as sharp and hurtful as ever. There's a reason for that and like the way D-key road shotgun over you, I know there's come reckoning to be had for both our issues.

You do have your mum and your boys who are all learning to heal with you. You have all done a lot and now you get to reflect and once again, plan ahead. That's life, right?

Sounds like your younger one is showing his deeper personality and he seems to have a sensitive side. That's good in many aspects, especially if it becomes a requirement of the type of job and partner he may choose along the way. All part of growing up. wink

So do you have school plans or other plans as you move forward?

Think of you all often. smile

Take care,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #441028
02/04/19 07:29 PM
02/04/19 07:29 PM
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whatsupdoc? Offline
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Glad to hear from you. It will never be the same without your dad, but that does not mean it will not be good having his memories.
Both your boys knew him well. Enough for his care and strength be ingrained in them. Lucky.

So sad your skunkaroo had to make it difficult to the very end. I swear our xh's are soul brothers.
I hope your family resets, refocuses and recovers to a new normal.
He does not even have a clue what he has lost. Maybe he never will. Not your problem now.

My XH is trying like heck to make nice with my girls. (Great, the year they both graduate from college, without him helping at all.)
I must allow them to make up their own minds about their communication.

Going forward is about you. You have no idea, save your father, who the most significant gents in your life will be.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: whatsupdoc?] #441268
02/27/19 05:05 AM
02/27/19 05:05 AM
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Mun,

How are you, your mom and boys doing? smile

Take care,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: Orchid2] #441270
02/28/19 12:35 AM
02/28/19 12:35 AM
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Thanks for checking up on us Orchid.

We’re doing well, adjusting to all the changes and making new memories.

DS12 will be confirmed tomorrow, it’s bitter sweet. He has grown into such a lovely thoughtful young adult and this is the last time I will have any substantial say in how he chooses to practice his faith. My best friend will stand for him and he has been asked to present his guitar as a gift symbolising the role of music in his life and the school in general. My Dad would have been so proud and although I know he will be there in spirit, I wish he was there in person. He had a special bond with DS and he misses him terribly.

DS16 is still working away in the restaurant on Saturdays and next week has been given the opportunity to work alongside the pastry chef for the week to upskill in that area. My Mum was a trained pastry chef and there is no doubt that that is where DSs real talent lies - he’s currently being mentored by the executive chef in one of the city’s most prestigious restaurants - I’m so very proud of him. At the end of March he has to do a two week community care placement and has got a position in the nursing home my Dad was in. I think it’s very brave and he’ll find it very difficult but he feels he wants to give something back - he was fabulous with my Dad as his dementia took hold so hopefully working in a dementia unit won’t be too traumatic.

I’m doing ok, college is absolutely full on, 8.30 to 4 classroom based and then homework, projects etc. I’ve to organise a placement for June and July but right now, I just haven’t had the time to give it any thought. I’ve one exam on 12th April and the other 3 in May. I’m still playing catch up on the material I skipped through last year, in many respects I’m trying to cram two years into 1 so we’ll see how that works out.

I started the process of church annulment in January. It’s taken me a very long time to admit that what went wrong with my marriage was the fact that we we got married. The differences were to great, out reasons for marrying too different, our expectations of what marriage involved poles apart. There were so many red flags, so many occasions where my head knew that this wasn’t right but my heart was desperately and fiercely in love. We both got it wrong and I don’t believe we could have ever met each other’s needs, they were just far far too different. I don’t know whether he’ll engage with the process, he’s nothing to gain by refusing but it’s just another way of hurting me and trying to maintain some sort of control. The story of our marriage really.

And finally, I went to my Mum and asked her to help me out as if I was going to go through the trauma of recounting the marriage, appallingly poor treatment, infidelity, affair, abandamont etc. I needed to do it with the help of a counsellor. I’m now seeing a wonderful lady regularly and the stress and worry of how to pay for it has been removed by my wonderful Mum. Hopefully now I’ll be able to work on training myself to stop blaming me, stop analysing the minutia of the last x number of years and trying to work out what I could have done differently. Logically I know it was nothing I did and there was nothing I could have changed to alter the outcome but I keep going there, keep on remembering, keep on reliving. So it’s time to get help to move on, hopefully with professional help I’ll get there sooner rather than later.

So yea, a lot of change most of it good, much of it chaotic but I do firmly believe that the three of us are on the way to a better life. I know who lost and who gained

Le grá

MUN


You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own and you know what you know
And YOU are the one who'll decide where you go
Dr Seuss
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #441271
02/28/19 04:27 AM
02/28/19 04:27 AM
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Hi Mun,

Thanks for the update. Your boys are certainly making you proud. smile

Glad you are moving forward as a family, allowing all to grow and glow. wink

You have fans around the world and you are doing us proud. thumbsup

Keep up the good work.

Orchid


Orchid
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #441273
02/28/19 03:43 PM
02/28/19 03:43 PM
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Great update. Glad to hear that you have a solid path forward.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #441278
03/02/19 04:26 AM
03/02/19 04:26 AM
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Hugs, hon. You've made such fantastic strides forward. Your boys are great, your Mum is so sweet and thoughtful. Most of all, I'm so glad you are on the road of healing your heart.

Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #441505
03/17/19 01:29 PM
03/17/19 01:29 PM
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For the day that’s in it

Song for Ireland

Beannachtí na Féile Pádraig

MUN


You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own and you know what you know
And YOU are the one who'll decide where you go
Dr Seuss
The Next Chapter [Re: MaidUpName] #443760
08/01/19 09:21 AM
08/01/19 09:21 AM
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Just a quick update

Another July over, another wedding anniversary ignored, another birthday (my last year where my age starts with a 4 frown ), another teenager in the house, another summer where myself and the boys just enjoyed the down time, enjoyed the ease with which we get on together and cement our new three person family. We went out for a lovely meal with my Mum for my birthday, went up to the beach house for DS13s birthday, he went into the sea age 12 and came out age 13 smile , his godparents came up to join us for a BBQ, we built sand castles and went for long walks on the beach - it was exactly what we needed.

DS13 has now finished in primary school. He’s had a really difficult year with exclusion and bullying and couldn’t wait to leave. He’ll join his brother in school in town at the end of the month which hopefully will give him a fresh start.

I worry about him, he’s very thoughtful, very gentle, very kind and just wants to be included; but he’s also different. Although not diagnosed with autism, he has a number of ASD traits including ADHD and sensory processing disorder which as he has got older have become more obvious to his peers and so make him an easy target. He’s very bright but utterly disorganised and can have difficulty expressing himself as his brain is working faster than he can speak so it often appears that he’s talking about something completely different to those around him. The school he’s going to has a dedicated SEN department and are aware of the various diagnosis so hopefully it will work for him.

DS16 is still taking on the world and winning. Still working away in the restaurant in he city, went to Paris to stay with my best friend for three weeks in June, He has to do French for his final exams and hates it so I bribed him, if he would do two weeks language course I’d pay for a weeks advanced cookery. He had an absolute ball, my friend looked after him fabulously and he seems to have learned quite a bit of French but more importantly, learned a lot about independent living, the cost of food/transport etc. He’ll be 17 in October and really is growing into a lovely kind capable young man. He starts his senior cycle at the end of the month - two years left in school and then he’s hoping to do a degree in culinary science.

And despite everything, I passed all my exams and have completed my placement. For the first time in a very long time I have a clear idea now of what I want to do next. A chance meeting with a neighbour resulted in a meeting with a local company who are looking for a project manager to run a project which involves all of the skills I have and if I had been asked to write my own job spec, this is pretty much it. Three of my areas of expertise combined into a implementation role in a company walking distance from home with flexible hours - if it works out, it really will be everything I want. I should know by the end of next week if they’re going ahead with the project but even if they don’t, I now know the sort of role I want and that they are available.

As for DonkeyDad, he really has become irrelevant and seems happy enough to be all but excluded from his Sons lives. He still sees DS13 occasionally but DS16 wants nothing to do with him. He’s still acting the donkey with maintenance payments but I have come to accept that this is just his way of convincing himself that he still has some control. It’s frustrating because every time I have to chase him via solicitors it cost me (and him) and the end result is that there is a court order in place and he has to pay up. Life would be so much easier if he just complied with the court order and we could all get on with our lives.

Church annulment is well under way, indications are that we might be done and dusted by the end of the year which I’d love. I’m not seeing anyone at the moment and have very little interest in so doing but I do like the idea that when I get to the point that I want to date again and maybe even consider a long term committed relationship I do it with a clean slate.

So a good update from this side of the pond, all happy, busy and well and looking forward to the next adventure.

MUN



You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own and you know what you know
And YOU are the one who'll decide where you go
Dr Seuss
Re: The Next Chapter [Re: MaidUpName] #443761
08/01/19 11:21 AM
08/01/19 11:21 AM
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Great update, MUN! You are quite good with your expressive writing. Fingers crossed that you can find a perfect project manager job. You are such a good mum to your boys. Keep on with your Adventures!

Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #444145
09/20/19 02:47 PM
09/20/19 02:47 PM
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So life this side of the pond is wizzing past at an alarming rate

We’re well an truly into the next chapter and loving it. The job opportunity became real and I’ve made it through month one in a haze of new technology, new processes and new colleagues. It’s been a pretty huge learning curve as it’s over 10 years since I worked in the tech sector but I’m getting a handle on what’s needed and really enjoying the challenge. I also have Friday’s off so can spend time with Mum, flexible hours and can walk there and back every day.

I’m considering commencing my professional exams in January, taking into account the exemptions I currently have I could complete CPA, ACCA or CIMA within 12 to 15 months. It would hugely increase my earning potential but I really have had enough studying and DS16 in now in his senior cycle and I’m not sure how fair it is on any of us for me to take on that workload while he’s completing his final exams.

As for the boys, they’re flying it. DS13 started in secondary school last month and is loving it. He landed one of the principle roles in the schools musical. This is a city wide production taking students from 13-15 from all of the city schools for a full scale theatrical production over 3 nights. It’s a huge amount of work but he’s absolutely loving it. He’s also part of the junior choir and plays guitar in the traditional music band. He really has found his niche and is walking tall, smiling and talking to us again. It’s so wonderful to see his spark back.

Ds16 is as always taking on the world. He won a very prestigious activity award which will be presented to him by the President, he’s the first student in about 10 years to achieve this so the school are delighted. He’s now a venture scout and is very active with that and also a peer mentor for a number of the younger classes in school. He agreed to give up his job for the moment - it was too much on top of everything else and I felt he was spreading himself too thin and would end up utterly exhausted.

Mum is still spending a lot of time with us but I convinced her to get a rescue puppy and she now has another focus which is really good for all of us. She still spends at least one night a week here but I feel a lot less guilty about her being on her own as she has company and is getting a lot of fun from puppy’s mad antics.

One of my Dad’s regrets in his final years was that he never managed a final visit to his only sister who had moved Australia with her family. When the dust settled and we started going through his financial affairs Mum called us all together and told us that before he got ill they agreed that there would be a small yearly lump sum for each of us to be used for something tangible that could be a memory of my Dad and a way to celebrate his and my Mums commitment to us all. Their view was that they would much rather see us enjoy our inheritance while they were alive rather than us receive it (and pay substantial tax) after they died. So, this Christmas myself, the boys and my Mum are travelling to Australia to spend Christmas with my cousins and their families dance2

As for DonkeyDad, he’s still hanging around on the periphery of our lives but really is of very little consequence. DS16 has largely cut him off at this stage and DS13 is heading the same direction - both of them dislike spending time with him, dislike his lifestyle choices are are utterly sick of his “glass half empty” view of life. I got an email last week looking for help with a rather large tax mess he’s got himself into and looking for information relating to an investment property which he was given as part of our judicial separation in 2017. Five years since he walked out on us, two years since he acquired the property and almost a year since he divorced me and he still expects me help.....
It’s a real pity he fired me from that role - I was rather good at looking after his affairs. Hopefully herself will be able to fill the gap smile

So that’s a potted history of life in MUN land. Church annulment is still in process but there doesn’t seem to be any major obstacles - thankfully Pope Francis moved to simplify the process so it’s a lot quicker and more affordable than previously. I’ve finally come to accept that by walking away and refusing to engage in any sort of reconciliation Donkey did us all a huge favour. Life for the three of us is very content and very easy. We’re a great team together and the thought of having him here with his constant negativity and anger leaves me hugely grateful that he left

MUN


You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own and you know what you know
And YOU are the one who'll decide where you go
Dr Seuss
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #444146
09/20/19 08:37 PM
09/20/19 08:37 PM
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MUN,

How did you know I was thinking about sending your post asking for an update ? smile

Great update. Proud of you for your accomplishments and that of your family. Glad to hear the boys are doing so well. Very proud for all of you and your family (including your mum). highfive

As for DnkyD, he is reaping his own 'rewards'. He got what he wanted (at the sacrifice of his family and his responsibilities) and he gets to own the consequences as well. He did you all a favor to disconnect so when he falls, it's just him. That is what often happens. His chosen path if a familiar one for many a long term WS.

Take care,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #444147
09/20/19 11:22 PM
09/20/19 11:22 PM
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I'm so happy to read your update. Things are going so well for you and your amazing boys.

Too bad about Donkey. He can fix his own mess. Not your job any more.

Can you start the process for your CPA when DS16 graduates?

How nice that your Mum also has a puppy to keep her company and give her something valuable to do.

Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #444148
09/21/19 06:42 PM
09/21/19 06:42 PM
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That is great news about your sons.
Sounds like both boys are standing tall.
Bless your care of them and bless all the opportunities they have taken advantage of and excelled at.
Congratulations.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #444157
09/23/19 02:23 PM
09/23/19 02:23 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
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So glad to hear that good things are happening to a good person.


Solutions? There are none. There are decisions.
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #444285
10/25/19 07:59 AM
10/25/19 07:59 AM
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Previously I’ve posted about how the boys birthdays make me sad - especially son1 who’s birth changed us from a couple to a family. Well yesterday, DS16 became DS17 and last night I realised that the sadness and regrets of previous years just wasn’t present this year. For the second year running he’s not actually here for his birthday, he’s on a school exchange in the south of Germany collaborating with another secondary school to produce a a documentary on the environment and sustainability. He was in the school for over 14 hours yesterday in an attempt to get this completed and they present their production today. I chatted to him very very briefly to wish him a happy birthday, bounced a few what’s app messages and he sent me a few pictures and as always I’m so very proud of him. He is growing into the most lovely kind, funny capable young man. He gets home tonight and we’ll have a nice meal and cake and we’ll all celebrate then.

DS13 is about to start a 4 show run of High School Musical in one of the city centre theatres. It has been an absolutely chaotic few weeks with rehearsals, costume fittings, school, sports, choir, scouts etc but he’s taken it all in his stride and is loving it. He’s playing Zeek Baylor in the show and we had a bit of a speed wobble earlier in the week (he was finding it difficult to hear himself over the radio mic.) but he calmed down and is now ready to go. Given the difficulties he has and the horrendous bulling he endured last year it’s very hard to express what an achievement it is to see him on stage giving it his all in this production. There’s 160 kids in the cast and the fact that he has managed the noise and constant movement and activity around him is testament to how far he’s come. There was a time I couldn’t even put him into an after school group because the hustle and bustle would overwhelm him!

Any my job? Absolutely loving it. I was referred to yesterday as “head of accounts” lol I burst out laughing, I’m probably one paragraph ahead of everyone else trying to work out how to do things but I suppose as long as I stay ahead I’ll be ok. I had felt over the last year that very little of what I had learned made sense - I just got to the point where I learned to reproduce rather than understand but suddenly it’s all falling into place. When theory is applied to reality it all makes so much more sense. Looks like I’ll increase my hours in January but it will all be done by agreement and I'll renegotiate a better rate. Finally, financially I’m able to breath again.

So, really, we’re all great here. Donkey will be here to see DS13 next week and I think is going to find a vastly more mature son. Interestingly, he sent through his plan for visits for the first half of next year and seems to be trying to visit more regularly. Unfortunately, it’s all a little too late - the boys are busy and have very little interest spending their precious free time with him. He’s missed out on so much - they are remarkable boys. I gathered together the paperwork he requested, DS can give it to him next weekend but that’s as far as I’m going. Getting it out of the house suits me, dealing with his tax mess doesn’t!

So a busy update from the land of MUN. Hope everyone has a spooktacular Halloween

MUN


You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own and you know what you know
And YOU are the one who'll decide where you go
Dr Seuss
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #444286
10/25/19 10:10 AM
10/25/19 10:10 AM
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Aloha MUN,

What great news!!! The boys are definitely making you and your mum proud!!! So happy to hear of the great progress report. You are doing well raising your boys and moving forward.

"Head of accounts', eh? highfive Quite an accomplishment. I am so proud of you and your boys.

As for DKY, let's just say his loss belongs to him. You and your family have not only survived but flourished in ways he can't begin to understand. Don't fret over that, just consider one of the side effects of being a stubborn WS is his inability to keep up with the times. wink

Always look forward to your updates!

Take care,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #444287
10/25/19 12:25 PM
10/25/19 12:25 PM
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Your boys are simply amazing, with all their progress in maturing and world travelling. You must be so proud of them! And certainly you have done a good job being a single parent too.

The Donkey will regret it in about 10 years, when his son's want nothing to do with him and they don't include him in their children's lives. It will truly hurt at that point. But he still sounds so self-absorbed that he may not ever truly understand the gravity of his choice.

You sound great at your job! And I'm so glad you have been able to find more financial Independence and freedom. Your safety net is growing.

Re: And life goes on..... [Re: Orchid2] #444288
10/25/19 12:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Orchid2
Always look forward to your updates!


Me too! smile

Re: And life goes on..... [Re: MaidUpName] #444293
10/28/19 09:55 PM
10/28/19 09:55 PM
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So glad that so many pieces are falling into place for you. I am sure that your doing well and the boys doing well has soothed parts of yourself that were very anxious in the past. No way to end that undercurrent of anxiety except by getting to the point where the feared catastrophes don't all arrive at once. Wonderful to read that you are getting there.


Solutions? There are none. There are decisions.
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