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hear ye, hear ye #441411
03/10/19 02:20 PM
03/10/19 02:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 28
2
2close Offline OP
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2close  Offline OP
Member
2
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 28
Married: 28+ years
BD: 01/2016
H File divorce:03/2016
H moved in with OW: 06/2016
Divorce:01/2019




The XH filed a petition against me for not abiding by the divorce settlement agreement with the court assigned realtor.
When she was assigned this Realtor on what I personally think is takin full advantage of the situation on hand knowing of XH living a 100 feet away with OW and with wanting to sell the home quickly.
This Realtor came in thousands of dollars lower on the listing price than the 1st realtor had come up with. The 1st realtor was basically accused of doing things behind XH back which was started by the OW telling XH things that she thought was going on over from here (which she's always watching, even having security camera that is aimed straight at my home) hence getting a assigned the now Realtor. When she first came in to access my home I told her right out that I do want to sell the house quickly but I will not give it away either, which she agreed to, well at least I thought she did.
Now I know that realtors will have a different outcome when accessing the house but by 10 of thousands of dollars? With this extreme differences certainty makes me to believe that this realtor is taking advantage. It's not unlawful but for sure unethical.
I had fought her tooth and nail on it from the beginning, which she adjusted seeing that I was not going to sit back and allow her to. Now with the divorce settlement I had unknowingly agreed to giving the realtor control on getting the home sold. I was under the impression of only taking her recommendations in consideration not allowing her to have the final say in the matter of it.

I did not understand until a few weeks ago on what I had agreed to, the way it was stated in the settlement really wasn't stated clear and being so I truly did not understand on what I actually agreed to. If I knew this I would never ever have agreed to it.
Of course XH's lawyer brought up of why I didn't ask to file a notion against it?
My responds was with the length of time that had past I didn't know I was able to do anything and never thought to ask my lawyer.
My lawyer tried to resolve what I misunderstood but was refused to even come to a compromise so XH's lawyer then filed this petition against me.
This realtor has been so adamite about reducing the price substantially and within a very short time period.
She has not giving the house a chance to of being advertised or having a chance of being shown (only 3 Open Houses scheduled in a 5 1/2 or so month period and 3 of them where at the beginning of the Winter months which is when the market becomes very slow).
On top of that I have not had any commutation at all with this Realtor in almost a 3 month period after the last Open House and that was held back at the end of October 2018.
I have just recently been contacted by the Realtor and with that contact the Realtor's recommendations was to reduce the listing price of the amount of 20 thousand dollars. I felt was to much of a substantial reduction in one given time so again fought against it. Then she if there was no interest or offers in 2 weeks she would then reduce it another 10 thousands dollars... I do not find this reasonable especially now that the housing market just started to pick up once again. The believe that the house was not given a fair amount of time on the market.
Then there's the fact of the listing contract with this Realtor is to expire shortly and being so I believe this is another reason the realtor is being so unreasonable persistent. I'm sure she suspects that I will not be renewing the listing contract with her, which I have no intention of doing.
I will be filing a petition against her for her replacement as the end of the contact gets closer and that expired date is at the end of March.
I feel it is not in my best interest to continue with her as continuing being the listing agent.

So with XH filing this petition against me for I was not complying to the divorce agreement I had to appear in court to explain why I was not complying to the terms of the settlement.
XH of course went along with this because he has no back bone and always found it easier to comply and to do what he is told.
It is very easy to convince XH to come around to your way of thinking for he has never argued about anything with anyone most of his life.
I was always the one who made most if not all of the decisions about everything throughout our marriage. (his Grandfather made all of his decisions prior and even the beginning of our marriage)
XH is very gullible and very easy to manipulate as well, of course the OW is very aware of this and surly taking advantage of that fact.
So it wouldn't surprise me if the OW is now making all the decisions for him. OW has to be a part of everything (even the sale of our home which I had requested to the realtor that she was not to be present in any discussions and certainty no part of any decisions made but that was ignored as well).
Of course XH allows OW to for it's easier for him to do, he really knows any other way
Also knowing his lawyer (XH's cousin) now back representing him his cousins has always looked down at KF and knows on to well on how XH is. His lawyer even made the comment when the divorce proceedings first began in which he stated "XH sh*t where he sleeps" which his lawyer should have never made especially to another attorney who is representing his opposing client.
XH was always the black sheep so to speak in the family and comes from a line of doctors and lawyers on his Father's side. XH was extremely abused growing up before his Father left. Then had a Mother who was all about his father then it turned to being all about his younger brother (almost 9 years difference in age) He was pushed away during his whole childhood.
Also XH is far from stupid but he worked with his back and was always looked down for that even tho he still made a really good living.
XH's family made it very obvious on how they saw XH, which was he was beneath them.
I'm sure that XH felt/knew this most of his life and still till this day does.
I am not making excuses for XH for he is responsible for his own choices regardless.
I'm just stating why he is as he is when it comes to things especially pushing all the decision making on someone else.
I am now waiting to hear on what the outcome of the ruling is.
It doesn't look good in my favor but I am hoping that the judge at least finds these dramatic reductions in such a short period of time of being unreasonable.
I am not against a reduction for I want the home sold so I can move on but I am not giving it away either, I can't afford to.
I am also not going to sit back and allow someone who has had the thinking that this will be a quick payout without doing a lot of work.
People are under the impression that a Realtor wants the house sold at a higher price for it will mean more commission for them. This is true but the longer the house is on the market the longer that pay out isn't received which in their minds is worth losing a few dollars which really comes to not much of a lost for them. If it means less time, money and work that they put into selling a home it still benefits them for those reasons.
I will be the one who is losing a substantially amount of money.
XH doesn't care for he has a place to live with the OW and rent free with no obligations.
OW owns her home outright (with her divorce settlement) so XH is able to take such the substantial lost nor cares if he has to.
I chosen to be a stay at home mom/homemaker and was not in the work force for a long time on the exception of part time jobs.
XH makes 10 times as much as I so he can afford to.


As I arrived to the court house I saw that the OW had insisted to make an appearance and to make her presence known.
I felt that OW had no business being part of this so asked my lawyer if she was allowed. He told me that the OW was a witness mistaking her as the realtor. The OW is very old looking beyond her years so when he was introduced to OW he thought was the Realtor. (I had made comments in the past about the realtor's age to my lawyer and felt she should have been retired 20 some years ago)
My lawyer also made it aware of who OW was by requesting if she not be present during the hearing because of the situation in hand which of course was denied.
XH's lawyer arguing that we were divorce and that it was open to the public so she had a right to be there, but at least the judge was now aware of who OW was which I hopefully the judge had frown upon.
As the hearing was in motion the realtor had taken the stand and questioned.
When it came to my time to testify the OW slid over purposely closer to be in my view making every effort trying to get me to acknowledge her.
My guess was trying to provoke or to intimidate me. I of course just ignored her. I noticed that the judge had been fully aware of OW's actions.
XH was slouched down so far in his chair trying like all Hell of not being in my view.
He was hiding behind his lawyer as his lawyer was questioning me with his head down and refused to even to look towards me. XH bolted out when the hearing was over just to avoid me further. His actions were very cowardly. XH has been acting cowardly since this started not only with me but our adult children as well.
With the proceeds I need to purchase a smaller, less expensive home for the rents around here are ridiculous and a lot are even more of what my mortgage's payment is now.
It will be more affordable and more reasonable finically for me to pay taxes, insurance and even what the upkeep of a house will be than it would be for me to rent.
Also being my grandbaby is to arrive soon it would nice to have a yard for her to play in.
Then there's the issues of finding a place to rent that not only has room for pets but that will even accept them.

I don't feel like I am being unreasonable just looking out for my best interest.

Spring is around the corner and there are now more potential buyers looking,
so it is just common sense to hold off on such a huge reduction to give a little time to see what conspires.
So hopefully the ruling will at lease prevent those extreme reductions and give the house a chance to be seen especially now that the market is picking up.

Re: hear ye, hear ye [Re: 2close] #441417
03/10/19 07:59 PM
03/10/19 07:59 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,682
HI
O
Orchid2 Online
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Orchid2  Online
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O
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,682
HI
2C,

Wow, you are going through a lot and dealing with an aggressive OW to boot. Not shocking just very disappointing.

That said if the house has not sold yet, can you pool together with someone to buy it and then turn around and sell it together. At the very least splitting some of the profit with your purchase partner? It will get you a bit more than as it stands now, right?

Isn't your realtor giving you creative alternatives?

Take care,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: hear ye, hear ye [Re: 2close] #441418
03/10/19 08:21 PM
03/10/19 08:21 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,400
whatsupdoc? Offline
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whatsupdoc?  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,400
Oh, no. I believe it 100%. Realtors are not necessarily professional and looking out for you. They want to earn their $$$ just as much as everyone else. They would like to sell for lots of money, but a QUICK paycheck is better than a potential paycheck down the road.

My xh drug out the divorce, left me to update, clean, market and move out of family home. 30 years hoarding. It was just under 600 man hours when we were done.

I did everything on a budget, never mind the extra work, BUT when his useless agent, not one open house, not one market penny spent, tried to lower the house (set at a low starting point) another $50,000 - I refused.

That realtor fought like a kraken to keep the listing... like, humiliated herself- reality was NOT part of her professional life, apparently. I kept every email. Me, cooperative, friendly and accommodating - every one.
She tried to say the problem was me....
She had to know I had records of her communications, right?

I paid extra, got the mediator to choose a new realtor from a list we both provided. X had my guy as "last", but he WAS on both lists, so I prevailed! I also had pages of emails that showed I was always friendly, accommodating and attentive with the past realtor- something she and xh tried to refute.

In the meantime, I sold the property to a very nice couple, so I never needed the second guy. (Side note: XH was such a jerk to him, he did not mind not having the listing (not getting the contract) because I sold it in the few weeks it was off the market and we were fighting. He sent me an additional email; "GOOD for YOU!, WuD!".
-- My xh just had a talent for making people dislike him like that.

Anyhow- it would have been worth it either way for me to fight for a more reasonable realtor. -- but the best part of it was pocketing $30K of commission. (I sold the house for $30K MORE than she wanted to lower the price to.)

I wrote an email to the owner of her agency, and the state board of licensing. Never looked back.
-- I offered to provide all communications about the interactions, too.


Last edited by whatsupdoc?; 03/10/19 08:43 PM.

Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: hear ye, hear ye [Re: 2close] #441419
03/10/19 08:41 PM
03/10/19 08:41 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,400
whatsupdoc? Offline
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whatsupdoc?  Offline
Member
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,400
Another thing I remember now was I went to the closing by myself. I had a new golfing assemble on, weight way down, carefully crafted long,long hair, sunglasses atop my head. I felt 25 years younger!
At the title company I see wreck of an x sitting along wall, trying to get my attention.

Without even turning my head, I beamed "Hello!" to the staff, "I'm here for the 10:00 closing! I'm the seller, I'm requesting a private room, please."
She looked totally confused, but lead me back, without question. As I settled in, she said; "You are the seller? I'm confused because that, um, that elderly man out there claims to be the seller..." Actually, I'm a little older than my xh. She was stunned we were both the sellers.

I told her she just made my day.

2close: I hope in your most anxious, upset times things work out for you....


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: hear ye, hear ye [Re: 2close] #441424
03/11/19 01:05 AM
03/11/19 01:05 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,375
B
Blair Offline
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Blair  Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,375
Welcome to Marriage Advocates. I'm sorry you have to be here. This is a painful process, of betrayal and deceit that your XH has caused. Many of us here have been through similar circumstances.

I'm also wondering if you know someone I can buy it for you so you can get a better price later.

if you can prove you didn't understand that verbage, you may have a case. However, if you have waited too long you may not be able to do that. You might want to get some free consultations from other attorneys in your area so that you have a different perspective and know what the possibilities are.

Re: hear ye, hear ye [Re: Orchid2] #441443
03/12/19 12:22 PM
03/12/19 12:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 28
2
2close Offline OP
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2close  Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 28
Yes the OW is a piece of work. I laugh because I can still hold my head high and I will never give her any satisfaction of reacting.
Unfortunally I do not have anyone who could or able to purchase the house. I wish I had.
Also this realtor suggesting alterative is a huge laugh she's is only looking for a quick pay out.
She's a joke as well... should hang out with the OW.


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