I read it today B. It had a lot of sex....LOL It was painful for me to read(not because of the sex) but because it drudged up feelings I had shortly after D day when I felt like I was losing my mind. So many things I did that were uncharacteristic of me and some things I WANTED to do that I only didn't do because of people on the boards walking with me through that dark time.
I became VERY close to the OW's BH during that time. Many times he was the ONLY one I was talking to. We both kept it upright but I felt like I was only able to do that because of the warnings I got from the board....I can easily see how that relationship (which only existed because our spouses were sleeping together) could have gone off into the ditch.
But I did other insane things.
The book did wrap up all of her temporary insanity nicely in the last chapter and she was able to learn so many things about herself.
A sign of being healed is mindlessly going to OWs FB page and quickly becoming bored and forgetting what the point of being there is. She has remarried and had another baby....and I just dont care.
Soooo much better than the day I wanted to run her down with my car. And when I burst into the neighbors house and began frantically talking about 'the [Bleep!]'. I can still see their shocked faces and here the silence....making me aware of how unhinged I had become.
I'm intrigued. Just downloaded it, although odds are I won't get to it till after Christmas. I, too, became a different woman during that awful time. Observing myself was a different kind of distressing than knowing my husband was having an affair. <shudder>
I look forward to reading the book and will check back here once I've done it. Thanks for the tip, believer.
I read this book. My impression is that it was written by a woman who has been cheated on, has frequented marriage forums online, and wrote a believable character from the betrayed point of view but ruined it by writing the ow character in a trite and cliche manner.
The twist that Believer refers to had me thinking about who the author might be.....
When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg