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13 Reasons Why #422336
05/09/17 01:37 PM
05/09/17 01:37 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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There are a few of us with teens, so I thought it would be good to share about this miniseries. Watching this, it struck me how severe the challenges our kids face. Many of them were close friends with a friend who died or committed suicide. And sexual assault affecting so many teens. And online bullying.

Since my YD saw this, I watched it too, and discussed it with them. I thought the series was really effective at showing how someone goes from troubled to total despair. There is a lot of controversy about this series because it can be a trigger, but since my kids was watching anyway I figured I should catch up so I could talk to her about it and I'm glad I did. They also have these talking points for parents

https://www.save.org/13-reasons-why/


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: NewEveryDay] #422338
05/09/17 03:09 PM
05/09/17 03:09 PM
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Oblivious2678 Online
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I have not seen it, but I'm hearing about it. My DD watched a suicide documentary in her CJ class that triggered her. It is a rough time for this generation we are raising.

I cannot understand suicide being the solution. When I was picked on, I would go into a cocoon, but I would be happy playing video games all day by myself. Not once did I think to end it all.

I don't know where they get this mentality. Society? Social Media? I am a true believer that a lot of the problems we have today are society and social media driven. Where else would they get these ideas?

Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: Oblivious2678] #422344
05/09/17 04:16 PM
05/09/17 04:16 PM
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Miranda Offline
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It's not, Obl. It happened before social media. I was touched by it when I was a young woman more than 25 years ago.


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: Miranda] #422346
05/09/17 04:52 PM
05/09/17 04:52 PM
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SmilingWife Offline
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I have instructed both our boys they are not to watch it unless they watch it with us.

I really worry about my son especially.

Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: Miranda] #422347
05/09/17 04:53 PM
05/09/17 04:53 PM
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I'm sorry Miranda. I know it's a horrible thing to go through or see someone else go through, witnessing my DD.

I understand it's always happened, but it appears to be an epidemic now. That's what makes me wonder if it's social media enhanced. In my area, we've had 6 or 7 teens recently, 4 in the same school district.

Again, I feel as if I will never fully understand. I've been down in the dumps. I've been picked on, but again, I've never once thought to end it all. I always advise counseling to those going through the rough times and give them reassurance that things will get better. It's a helpless feeling.

Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: Oblivious2678] #422349
05/09/17 04:58 PM
05/09/17 04:58 PM
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SmilingWife Offline
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My sister was telling me that 2 kids in her kid's high school committed suicide the same week. One was a 16 year old father and he shot himself in front of his baby's mother.

So sad.

Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: SmilingWife] #422351
05/09/17 05:12 PM
05/09/17 05:12 PM
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LivingWell Offline
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A lot of times, suicides (or attempts) come in threes. That's why it's a good idea take precautions whenever there is one.

Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: LivingWell] #422367
05/09/17 10:17 PM
05/09/17 10:17 PM
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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Obl, this series really helped me to get out of my own head about it. I survived some stuff as a kid but always knew that one day I'd be grown and get away from it. What this series helped me understand is that these kids are suffering a bully IN THEIR OWN MIND that they may never be able to get away from. A voice that tells them day and night they are a disappointment to everyone they love and that the best they can do is to end it. Combined with constant bullying at school and over the phone. I can't even imagine.


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: NewEveryDay] #422392
05/10/17 04:08 PM
05/10/17 04:08 PM
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Bullying is clearly an epidemic. As far as bullying themselves, DD does this to herself a lot and I am doing my best to reshape that for her. I have flat out told her a few times, "You are bullying yourself. Since we clearly agree that bullying someone else is awful, what makes you think it's healthy to bully yourself?"

I think it really opened her eyes when I put it in that perspective. Who thinks to themselves that they are bullying themselves?

When DS beats himself up over a decision he made that is "wrong", I am quick to jump in and remind him that it is okay to make mistakes, to fail. There's nothing "wrong" about that. The most important thing is to learn from it, move forward, and make the better decision next time.

I know this is all easier said than done.

Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: Oblivious2678] #422705
05/16/17 03:16 AM
05/16/17 03:16 AM
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Psychologists have found that it is not the absolute state of one's existence that contributes to the most damaging/dangerous depression, but the differential between that ACTUAL state and the EXPECTED state that triggers the malady.

Being lonely, for example is not usually suicide-inducing, but being lonely when all others seem not to be, or when one had expectations of being included and welcomed, is when the darker thoughts can overwhelm.

Coincidentally, there was a Washington Post story recently about Ruth Madoff, - how she was struggling, and how her friends were concerned about her, as she tried to move forward with her life, with nothing but the $2.5M she was allowed to retain as her husband's stolen funds were forfeit to repay his fraud victims.

I doubt that anyone here, or in other forums reflecting the real world, could generate much sympathy for a late-middle-age woman wrestling with how to stretch that amount over her remaining years.


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: StormVictim] #422806
05/18/17 07:03 PM
05/18/17 07:03 PM
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LivingWell Offline
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I can have sympathy. A drastic change in yearly income means a drastic change in lifestyle. Someone who has never lived on little doesn't have the experience or skill for it yet so it can be a struggle for a while. It makes sense that her friends are also concerned since her friends most likely have the money that she used to have and probably aren't able to help her adjust due to their own lack of experience and skill.

Change can be difficult. How change is handled is what matters the most, imho.

Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: StormVictim] #422813
05/18/17 07:46 PM
05/18/17 07:46 PM
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Orchid2 Offline
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Originally Posted By: StormVictim
Psychologists have found that it is not the absolute state of one's existence that contributes to the most damaging/dangerous depression, but the differential between that ACTUAL state and the EXPECTED state that triggers the malady.

Being lonely, for example is not usually suicide-inducing, but being lonely when all others seem not to be, or when one had expectations of being included and welcomed, is when the darker thoughts can overwhelm.

Coincidentally, there was a Washington Post story recently about Ruth Madoff, - how she was struggling, and how her friends were concerned about her, as she tried to move forward with her life, with nothing but the $2.5M she was allowed to retain as her husband's stolen funds were forfeit to repay his fraud victims.

I doubt that anyone here, or in other forums reflecting the real world, could generate much sympathy for a late-middle-age woman wrestling with how to stretch that amount over her remaining years.


Beans and rice, rice and beans is what one commentator/funding strategist said. When one goes from pricey toilet paper to the cheapest but still effective one then you know what being truly economical means. I always say, 'the most important paper in the house is: toilet paper'. Maybe I should add, especially after the 'beans and rice'. eek smile


Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: Orchid2] #422819
05/18/17 09:26 PM
05/18/17 09:26 PM
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SmilingWife Offline
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My son's counselor sent an email to parents warning about this show. She is very concerned about teens watching it alone.

Re: 13 Reasons Why [Re: SmilingWife] #424810
06/19/17 02:21 AM
06/19/17 02:21 AM
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LadyGrey Offline
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My boy John shot himself in the family den.

I haven't watched the show and won't.

Anything that suggests that is even remotely OK is garbage.

I don't agree with the premise of the show.

There are no acceptable reasons why.


Bidden or not bidden God is present.

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