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Re: Of course [Re: SmilingWife] #411555
06/29/16 02:25 PM
06/29/16 02:25 PM
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LivingWell Offline
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How disappointing for you about the vacation.

You never know, "regular" time at home might work out better for the transition with dss.

Re: Of course [Re: SmilingWife] #411556
06/29/16 02:26 PM
06/29/16 02:26 PM
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TX
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Oh my gosh! What happened this time?


Current spouse: Night. D10, D9, S7

About me

You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

http://www.divorcedmomfinances.com
Re: Of course [Re: LivingWell] #411558
06/29/16 02:39 PM
06/29/16 02:39 PM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: LivingWell
How disappointing for you about the vacation.

You never know, "regular" time at home might work out better for the transition with dss.


We are still going.

Re: Of course [Re: CajunRose] #411559
06/29/16 02:43 PM
06/29/16 02:43 PM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: CajunRose
Oh my gosh! What happened this time?


Well, the old guy is just out of money I think. There have been some pretty serious lay offs in the last few months but we had hoped Dh could hang on. He was unfortunately in this last round.

He has made a lot of contacts there the last year and a half though. It will work out.

I wouldn't even be that upset if it wasn't for he money we are going to spend on this vacation. My initial reaction was to,cancel of course, because that is how I operate....but Dh told me it will be ok....it is the only vacation we have ever taken the boys on and Ds is close to being launched.....so we are just going to do it. I just have to find a way to enjoy it job situation in the back of my mind.

Re: Of course [Re: SmilingWife] #411583
06/29/16 10:42 PM
06/29/16 10:42 PM
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wiser_now Offline
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What a bummer! Also, difficult for his self esteem. I'm so sorry, SW!


A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. --Andre Maurois

Re: Of course [Re: wiser_now] #411590
06/30/16 01:13 AM
06/30/16 01:13 AM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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I picked up dss15. He is here. To live. Take a moment to process that....

He says his mom has accepted it. She even know he is going to be homeschooled.

Dh seems ok. Right now he is on his work computer finishing up a last bit of work....he is going on tomorrow to talk to the owner....I guess tomorrow is his last day.

Re: Of course [Re: SmilingWife] #411591
06/30/16 01:35 AM
06/30/16 01:35 AM
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Very sorry to hear that, but that's terrific news about dds.

FWIW, I think your H is right about the trip. I hope you enjoy it. smile

Re: Of course [Re: kerala] #411596
06/30/16 02:23 AM
06/30/16 02:23 AM
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I say to enjoy the trip as much as you can. Celebrate each other and DDS being there and your sweet son as well as your kind H. It comes at a sad time, but you have both worked so hard to have a real vacation.

Re: Of course [Re: Blair] #411598
06/30/16 02:35 AM
06/30/16 02:35 AM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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Thanks guys.

Now if we can just get the legal stuff done.....at least we don't have to off out cs....we can make it on unemployment until Dh can regroup and find something else.

Not long after Dh started there they had a big meeting and explained why they had filed bankruptcy. It sounded sketchy to me, ...I googled and found the bare facts.....coincidentally my boss knows ALL about it and a month or so ago he told me a whole bunch of stuff....the owner is quite old is being investigated for bancruptcy fraud.....so really at the end of the day......even though it paid well and Dh got a ton of great experience and contacts.....it might be better that he is out of it.

Dss15 seems happy. Dh is thrilled.

Re: Of course [Re: SmilingWife] #411615
06/30/16 01:42 PM
06/30/16 01:42 PM
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holdingontoit Offline
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So the blessings are balancing for now and God willing H will eventually get another job and then things will be great. So seems to me the timing of the vacation is perfect. Go on the vacation as a celebration of DSS being with you permanently. Celebrate having all the kiddoes together. Celebrate DH not having a pile of work to go back to after vacation. DH will not be interrupted from enjoying the vacation by work texts and work emails and work calls. So many silver linings. Oh my, is this eeyore posting to you?!?!


Solutions? There are none. There are decisions.
Re: Of course [Re: holdingontoit] #411616
06/30/16 02:05 PM
06/30/16 02:05 PM
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midwest
Miranda Offline
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lol,

go eeyore....

I mean Hold! lol


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: Of course [Re: SmilingWife] #411623
06/30/16 02:44 PM
06/30/16 02:44 PM
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LivingWell Offline
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Originally Posted By: SmilingWife
Dss15 seems happy. Dh is thrilled.

I can understand why. The timing couldn't be more perfect!

Dss and his Dad will be able to spend lots of time together doing life stuff. Maybe they'll clean the garage as one of their bonding experiences?! You never know, maybe Ds will join them.

I'm curious as to how Dss's older brother will take this change in custody. I'm wondering if he will want to start visiting his father if for no other reason than to see that his younger brother is ok with the change in "who's boss". If it's not a concern for him then I would be less inclined to believe his claims that his father mistreated him.

I think that it will be a summer of opportunities for everyone.

Re: Of course [Re: LivingWell] #411637
06/30/16 04:24 PM
06/30/16 04:24 PM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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The work thing is so weird. ...the vp who laid Dh off yesterday ( effective today) was not aware of a big inspection coming up with environmental gov agency. So they changed his severance to 3 weeks do Dh will come back and handle the inspection.

So Dh is there now meeting with the owner to clarify all of that. And to clarify.....does he get his accrued vacation plus severance or are they trying to call his vacation severance?

He is working on not burning bridges......

Re: Of course [Re: holdingontoit] #411638
06/30/16 04:24 PM
06/30/16 04:24 PM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: holdingontoit
So the blessings are balancing for now and God willing H will eventually get another job and then things will be great. So seems to me the timing of the vacation is perfect. Go on the vacation as a celebration of DSS being with you permanently. Celebrate having all the kiddoes together. Celebrate DH not having a pile of work to go back to after vacation. DH will not be interrupted from enjoying the vacation by work texts and work emails and work calls. So many silver linings. Oh my, is this eeyore posting to you?!?!


Ha you might need to go for a check up!

Re: Of course [Re: SmilingWife] #411658
06/30/16 07:10 PM
06/30/16 07:10 PM
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holdingontoit Offline
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I am a guy. I only go to the doctor on my birthday. And that is just to have an excuse to not go to work so they don't remind me how old I am.


Solutions? There are none. There are decisions.
Re: Of course [Re: holdingontoit] #411689
07/01/16 01:05 PM
07/01/16 01:05 PM
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SFB Offline
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SW:

Well that is a bummer for all of you.

Enjoy your trip. And when you return? Get the house done....

wink

SFB


Finding an ethical way to deal with pain, fear, disappointment etc..is part of the experience of becoming a stronger person...one who is driven by compassion instead of compulsion...ie I have a legitimate reason to be stressed out right now...however, my response to it will determine how others percieve me, and myself. (quoting Star*Fish)
Re: Of course [Re: SmilingWife] #411717
07/02/16 09:15 AM
07/02/16 09:15 AM
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catperson Offline
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Originally Posted By: SmilingWife
I picked up dss15. He is here. To live. Take a moment to process that....

He says his mom has accepted it. She even know he is going to be homeschooled.

So happy for you! DSS15 has a chance now!

I've been out of regular work for 17 months now. The truth is, there just is no middle class any more; nobody's doing better, if they even have a job; 90% of all the hundreds and hundreds of jobs I've applied for have been contract work, for less money. Because they can. It's just the new reality.

You may want to suggest that DH read Rich Dad Poor Dad.

Re: Of course [Re: catperson] #411719
07/02/16 11:20 AM
07/02/16 11:20 AM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: catperson
Originally Posted By: SmilingWife
I picked up dss15. He is here. To live. Take a moment to process that....

He says his mom has accepted it. She even know he is going to be homeschooled.

So happy for you! DSS15 has a chance now!

I've been out of regular work for 17 months now. The truth is, there just is no middle class any more; nobody's doing better, if they even have a job; 90% of all the hundreds and hundreds of jobs I've applied for have been contract work, for less money. Because they can. It's just the new reality.

You may want to suggest that DH read Rich Dad Poor Dad.


Thanks Cat. I am thankful to have my little job which was suppose to be for the remodel fund, but now looks like the survival fund. We will be ok. Dh will get unemployment, and I feel certain he will find good worK quickly this time....I told him I don't want him to get in the trap of doing side jobs where he is so swamped he can't look for real work.

He went in yesterday for his final check and the owner wrote him an extra week of severance....he was offered 3 so he would come back for an inspection in July. The owner shook his hand and told Dh he was very valuable and he wants Dh to remember that bcause he hopes to straighten things out and have Dh come back.

So at the very least dhs spirit is not crushed...he knows it isn't him, but just poor business running.

As far as the job situation in general....I agree.....there is no security. I had hoped Dh could find a job he could stay at for 20 years and then retire. But really like doesn't work that way anymore. Like I keep telling my boys the best you can do is get a skill, keep yourself out of debt and focus on your relationship with God and you family.

Re: NYC trip [Re: Rich57] #411820
07/07/16 05:31 PM
07/07/16 05:31 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,282
PEEKSKILL NY
Rich57 Offline
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Originally Posted By: Rich57
Originally Posted By: holdingontoit
In a few miles you come to Rich's Farm. Seriously may be the best ice cream in the world.

After googling it I find out it is about an hour and 15 mins from where I live so next time I am in that direction I will give it a try and report back.

Thanks for the tip!

So disappointment - I was driving by this past Sunday and tried to stop for ice cream and they were closed.
So we had to settle for Stew Leonards.
As lobsters were on sale there and made for a great weekend feast.

Hope you still have a great time on your trip SW!

Re: NYC trip [Re: Rich57] #411821
07/07/16 06:06 PM
07/07/16 06:06 PM
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holdingontoit Offline
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Rich: Thanks for reporting in. Something must be going on with the owners. I tried to go on Memorial Day and they were closed. But then the next weekend they were open. Gotta think they are giving up plenty of revenue to be closed on summer Sundays and holidays, so there must be a major problem of some sort. Sorry to have pointed people to a place that is unreliable, but good for everyone to know to call ahead to confirm they are open before taking a long drive there.


Solutions? There are none. There are decisions.
Re: NYC trip [Re: holdingontoit] #411830
07/07/16 10:02 PM
07/07/16 10:02 PM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: holdingontoit
Rich: Thanks for reporting in. Something must be going on with the owners. I tried to go on Memorial Day and they were closed. But then the next weekend they were open. Gotta think they are giving up plenty of revenue to be closed on summer Sundays and holidays, so there must be a major problem of some sort. Sorry to have pointed people to a place that is unreliable, but good for everyone to know to call ahead to confirm they are open before taking a long drive there.


Hmmmm....That is strange. I will definitely call before we go by. Or we may just go by anyway to enjoy the drive.

Re: NYC trip [Re: SmilingWife] #411851
07/09/16 04:34 PM
07/09/16 04:34 PM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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Got to Dallas yesterday. Then after all passengers ( full flight) were loaded, they cancelled the flight to Laguardia.we spent the night in Dallas at a hotel.....we were first told there would be no flight we could get on until Sunday. We did manage to get booked for one that will arrive at Lagurdia at 9 tonight via St Louis.

Re: NYC trip [Re: SmilingWife] #411864
07/11/16 01:42 PM
07/11/16 01:42 PM
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holdingontoit Offline
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If they can get you to Newark of JFK, you can get to LaGuardia via land route. In Texas terms, Newark, JFK and LaGuardia are pretty much neighbors. Much closer together than Dallas to Austin or Houston.


Solutions? There are none. There are decisions.
Re: NYC trip [Re: holdingontoit] #411896
07/13/16 03:34 AM
07/13/16 03:34 AM
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SmilingWife Offline OP
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We suggested Newark but they said they don't go there.....

We did make it. They let our boys board at Dallas and then told us none of us were checked in even though we had boarding passes.....they had to entice someone off the plane because they were oversold by one.

Same situation in St Louise but not oversold.

Got to our room at midnight sat. In the pouring rain. Having lots of fun though.

Re: NYC trip [Re: SmilingWife] #411898
07/13/16 03:50 AM
07/13/16 03:50 AM
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Glad you all made it, SW. Have a great time!


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
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