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Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: AlTurtle] #284614
03/09/13 07:06 AM
03/09/13 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted By: AlTurtle
Hello Tinkerbell, Glad you joined this thread. The affair sounds like an awful happening for you.

Since in my opinion one cannot "lose" a purpose (you can misplace it), I would seek another description of what awesome and awful stuff happened to you.

Certainly, I hear, you felt, thought, your life's purpose was taken away. I got that. Also something about "being busy" and "doing things for others" was involved.

I'd try this on for size. My experience is that a vast number of kids in childhood are trained ("brainwashed" might be a bit strong) into self-neglect and into focusing on the needs of others. This pattern in adulthood is often called Codependency. I think it is based on an adopted habit of "taking care of others" while neglecting oneself or accepting neglect from others as a way of life. When "others" go away, one can feel completely lost and bereft.

I think that part of the process for people recovering from Codependency (I certainly had to do this) is to become familiar with your own life's Purpose that cannot be taken away.

Well, anyway it's a thought.


To tell you the truth I feel so embarassed still wh did all this, like I failed. And co dept issues could be a lot of the reason I feel this way. Growing up I was almost neglected sort of, my mom always made comments she felt trapped and my dad would be gone almost all the time doing who knows what.

And wh is an alcoholic and I have learned I must have co dept issues, which for years I tried to get him to stop drinking and he would become beligerant. It may sound strange, but when this happened DDAY and all this and he left, it was like my project I had been working on left. I had gotten so wrapped up helping him trying to get him to stop drinking for years and following him around in the military, I lost me somewhere. And that ow has my project and it really bugs me, I have worked on that project a long time. I know he isn't my project, but he has been a lot of work, too bad I didn't get paid for all the hours. I am really disguested he ran off, and he is much worse now.

I know it sounds weird, I think with him not here, I realize now he was more of a problem I had to fix than a husband after awhile, so I named him my project.

It could be part of the co dept thing, as I really grew used to it all about him and his problems. Which see, this whole thing isn't about my purpose, see...

Good heavens, that post is like really a great description of co dept in action.

So I had the problem that left, and me surrounded by all the things in our home. And I sort of tried to remember me when young and how I was ok just me and what would the strong me then tell the me now who has forgotten the strong younger me, and it has been a long process.

I don't even know how to start to figure out how to do my purpose, since it is the same purpose it is there, only I should have got started a long time ago, many years ago.

Oh I have a question, do you think it is normal if you are co dept to be in a problem and hear other peoples problems, yet your problem is pretty much the same, only you don't think your problem is that bad? That is kind of how I am.

See, it falls in to that, I shouldn't complain, that is it.

Last edited by Tinkerbell; 03/09/13 07:15 AM.
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: for to fade] #284636
03/09/13 02:39 PM
03/09/13 02:39 PM
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Rich57 Offline
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Originally Posted By: Tinkerbell

co dept issues could be a lot of the reason I feel this way

Oh I have a question, do you think it is normal if you are co dept to be in a problem and hear other peoples problems, yet your problem is pretty much the same, only you don't think your problem is that bad?

First of all I think most BS are co-dependent.
So that seems to be part of the reason that we are all here.

What our spouses did is not excusable, maybe fore giveable but they have no excuses for it.

So do I think what you feel is normal.

Yes.

The advantage we now have is that it is something that we know that we have to work on.
That is a necessity to move forward.

Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: Rich57] #284740
03/10/13 06:15 AM
03/10/13 06:15 AM
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LG (((((stop the acceleration))))

Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: for to fade] #284741
03/10/13 06:28 AM
03/10/13 06:28 AM
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The purpose I had when younger is there but there is no way to do it now there is not enough time.


Last edited by Tinkerbell; 03/10/13 06:31 AM.
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: for to fade] #284761
03/10/13 04:05 PM
03/10/13 04:05 PM
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AlTurtle Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Tinkerbell
The purpose I had when younger is there but there is no way to do it now there is not enough time.
Seems to me that Purpose is more a direction than a specific goal. More like "to be a scout" than to "travel to Tahiti."

And I've always believed that "following your Purpose" is not always possible. My example is "what happens if a person who is supposed to be a scout is born in wartime London, 1942?" My guess is that "they can dream and study travel books. They will be attracted to movies of Australia. etc. They may grow up to be a travel agent." smile

I am not too sure what happens to Purpose the further a person becomes an elder. I guess I will find out.


Principles are simple. Applying them is a tough U-Do-It project. Go 4 it!
Al Turtle
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: AlTurtle] #284847
03/11/13 07:35 AM
03/11/13 07:35 AM
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smile

That makes a lot of sense.

What I realized lately is for years I actually thought I had no interests, I have no idea how I decided that. Yet at the same time I was very creative and driven.

I did make a decision to stop working to stay home with our girls, and I see now that was a major error as it is really odd trying to get back into "working" now.

My mom recently told me when I was little she hated being home with us. All I could do was not say a word, as I decided to stay home and loved every minute of it.

This has nothing to do with purpose.

Although I resent she told me that, when I was just this ridiculous mother who would just get into the entire thing.

Which reminds me I believe my wh was jealous, if we had a son he may not have felt that way.

He wasn't jealous of them, he seemed angry I gave them attention. Only I feel you don't have children and let them run wild or ignore them. And with his drinking, I ended up almost being the only parent.

Which I am so off topic now.

I have always liked writing poetry, maybe that is my purpose. And I barely wrote anything during my entire marriage,

I need change this whole thing, the entire situation I am in/working on is really I am shocked at myself for how long it has gone on, where was I?

Off topic again, sorry.



Last edited by Tinkerbell; 03/11/13 07:54 AM.
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: for to fade] #284882
03/11/13 03:23 PM
03/11/13 03:23 PM
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AlTurtle Offline OP
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If we are careful and look close enough, I think nothing is off topic when talking about Purpose. Your enthusiasm for poetry sounds interesting.

I think that "waking up" is always good, even if painful.

The struggles you had with mom or ex or etc. can be just issues of a little kid not feeling nurtured and finding safety or adults feeling misunderstood, etc. Those sound generally to be frustrations that are at a more concrete level (safety, reliable membership, diversity, autonomy) than the stuff of Purpose.

But worth looking at when you have time.


Principles are simple. Applying them is a tough U-Do-It project. Go 4 it!
Al Turtle
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: AlTurtle] #286386
03/16/13 06:59 AM
03/16/13 06:59 AM
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Yes I seem to be stuck in the pain part of it, I at least once a day feel in pain from this. And this summer I decided to do something no matter how I am feeling, now to pull it off.

I grew up in the era of children should be seen and not heard.

That is the most amazing concept, for parents to not want to see or hear their children yet they had children. That is as much nonsense as clean your plate up their are starving children in Africa.

They both don't fit into making sense to a child, or to me now.

I think I may be onto somthing, a lightbulb moment. My parents fought all the time, I would hear them late at night fighting even, and the divorced. I swore I would never divorce. When we got married, we waited 6 years before trying to have a child, we wanted to make sure we would stay married. I have no idea how that would tell us anything, looking back now. And our children were planned, and by then I was older so it took awhile to become pregnant.

Somehow I think I thought marriage or family somehow was my only purpose from all that.

I have to think about this, I really think that. I worked before getting married and up until we had children isn't like I did nothing. But I made a decision to stay home, and I stopped moving forward as far as me, I just stopped.

Interesting. And pretty stupid of me.

Last edited by Tinkerbell; 03/16/13 07:00 AM.
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: for to fade] #286395
03/16/13 01:15 PM
03/16/13 01:15 PM
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Miranda Offline
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Originally Posted By: Tinkerbell
Yes I seem to be stuck in the pain part of it, I at least once a day feel in pain from this. And this summer I decided to do something no matter how I am feeling, now to pull it off.

I grew up in the era of children should be seen and not heard.

That is the most amazing concept, for parents to not want to see or hear their children yet they had children. That is as much nonsense as clean your plate up their are starving children in Africa.

They both don't fit into making sense to a child, or to me now.

I think I may be onto somthing, a lightbulb moment. My parents fought all the time, I would hear them late at night fighting even, and the divorced. I swore I would never divorce. When we got married, we waited 6 years before trying to have a child, we wanted to make sure we would stay married. I have no idea how that would tell us anything, looking back now. And our children were planned, and by then I was older so it took awhile to become pregnant.

Somehow I think I thought marriage or family somehow was my only purpose from all that.

I have to think about this, I really think that. I worked before getting married and up until we had children isn't like I did nothing. But I made a decision to stay home, and I stopped moving forward as far as me, I just stopped.

Interesting. And pretty stupid of me.


I don`t think it is stupid, Tink. That happens to lots of women. But now it is time to figure out what else you have to offer. I'm willing to bet it is a lot once you figure it out! You have so much passion there hass to be some direction you can turn it to.


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: Miranda] #286398
03/16/13 01:57 PM
03/16/13 01:57 PM
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I'm so glad to see you posting your thoughts and feelings Tink. You tried hard to do a noble thing for your H. Unfortunately he couldn't stay the course he needed to. It is NOT a reflection on you and NOT your failure.

I wish so much for you to find something you enjoy in life. A new purpose. Along with that an income to allow you to leave your nightmare behind.


I think you can see we are all here for you. Cheering you on.

((((((TINK)))))))


Accept what is,
Let go of what was
and have faith in what will be.
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: 20yrsdone] #286405
03/16/13 03:03 PM
03/16/13 03:03 PM
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Hey Tink
A book that I checked out from the library might be helpful to you. It is called What Should I Do With The Rest of My Life?" True Stories of finding Success, Passion, and New Meaning in the Second Half of Life.

As the title suggests is is full of stories of people who have found their purpose in life in their 60's and beyond. I'm about 1/3 of the way through it. The stories are different and some are men and some are women. I think 5 of them in the book are about women who stayed home with their children until their 50's.

In the intro he says that they all have similar characteristics:
"They are thin and maintain healthy diets, exercise regularly, challenge themseves, fill their lives with novel experiences and varied social connections. Even those who are of a more solitary nature interact and communicate with extensive networks of people. "

Well, I'm pretty healthy, exercise, challenge myself as I am always reading. In the last couple of weeks I've read a couple of books about depression in men, a teaching financial fitness to children book, book about Pickett's charge, the Weekend marriage, and just started An Irish County Doctor. ( I typically have 3 or more books scattered around the house that I read all at the same time.)

I do not communicate with extensive networks of people or have varied social connections. I basically interact with hubby, children, their private lesson teachers, a couple of homschool moms and my church. That's it. So that is where I need to improve. Although, we do have interactions with all kinds of people on our mission trips. We have traveled extensively for fun as well and really enjoyed our trip to Europe as a family a couple of years ago when the boys were studying 20th century. We went to England, a week in France and then several days in Germany. We stayed in a French Gite and explored the Normandy sites and talked to tons of French people. Saw the Verdun war sites. Very interesting.

The intro also said this, "Listening closely to their own desires, and not to prescriptions for aging well, they have followed their own curiosity on paths of learning and discovery. And in doing so, they have fed their passions and given themselves permission to achieve success."

Hope that helps Tink. I'm right there with ya!

Last edited by Marta; 03/16/13 03:05 PM.
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: Marta] #286406
03/16/13 03:04 PM
03/16/13 03:04 PM
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Sorry my e seems to be stuck!!! I think I fixed most of my missing e's.

Last edited by Marta; 03/16/13 03:06 PM.
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: Marta] #286413
03/16/13 04:07 PM
03/16/13 04:07 PM
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I've been to the Verdun area, the rows and rows, actually miles and miles of crosses. So many battles all over the place there, the enormity of it. It was an honor to go there for me..

Your e is stuck? Once my keys were doing that, I had the brillant idea to remove them all and clean the keyboard..and you know, I had to get a picture of a keyboard to put them all back..

Typos make it seems more real anyway, sometimes there are words that spellcheck has no idea, it is homey..typos are that homey feel to a post. smile

Thank you Mir and 20, I don't want to hog this thread though.

I was talking to someone last night, and I have no idea why I have been afraid to file, it has been me for so many years doing the bills and kids and so many things, it isn't like I can't maintain myself with activity swirling around me. It might be kind of nice to not have a loose board out there and I never know when it will land, wh is the board. Honestly, it will be strange not to have this hope I can get a chance to fix my marriage on my mind, what the hell will I do with my time?! That is a statement to myself as what the hell have I been doing here, really what the hell. I just now see how much time has passed? Now? Well, better late than never.

I have noticed in this, I have been so focused on trying to be able to even think about mending, to even be given the chance, and to refocus. It has been a big part of my thoughts.

eh, should I want this person who did this? If a stranger told me this happened I would be thinking, holy shinola. And yet, here I am like or have been in denial on a lilly pad, like a frog, there I was sitting there, lava all around my pad, thinking, I can fix this.

When, really, just get the hell out of it, is a litle bit better idea.

The frog thought is a little weird, thinking outside the situation a bit. lol

You all are really so amazing.

Last edited by Tinkerbell; 03/16/13 04:12 PM.
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: for to fade] #286529
03/17/13 08:51 PM
03/17/13 08:51 PM
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My pastor used to always say that when you find something you love to do, opportunities will come up to fulfill your purpose right where you are.

Our local elementary school has been doing fundraisers to buy more computers and iPads. One of the father's is a car mechanic and his hobby is going to car shows. He volunteered to have a car show on the school playground. It was a huge hit. Only 50 cars were pre-registered, and over 300 showed up, so many that we had to turn people away. There was a $10. charge for entering, but the show was free. However they sold raffle tickets, food, and had booths and ended up making over $30,000 in one day. Besides the money, everyone in Oceanside showed up, and thoroughly enjoyed it.



"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: Topic 8a: "Awakening of Purpose" - Putting Meaning into Life [Re: believer] #288365
03/28/13 09:26 PM
03/28/13 09:26 PM
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Marta I want to read that book, it sounds interesting. Tink, oddly enough, I have found more purpose and happiness helping others. I found being a nurse very meaningful, I find being a mother very meaningful and when my children have grown I plan on volunteering my time to help others, that and having fun.

My personal answer is that everyone's purpose in this world is to bring in more positive than negative. JMHO.


Me 41
H 40
S 9
S 6

I want to live in a world where George Zimmerman offered Trayvon Martin a ride home to get him out of the rain that night. -Bishop G. Brewer
How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: Mary Emma] #289883
04/07/13 06:43 PM
04/07/13 06:43 PM
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"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: believer] #289967
04/08/13 12:32 PM
04/08/13 12:32 PM
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Marta Offline
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Believer,

I'm not sure I understood that video at all. The highest version of myself???? As in what would Jesus do? What would Jesus do in this moment?? Well, he wandered around preaching the good news. He healed people. I can't do that. I'm not sure I understood how that video was supposed to help...

Re: How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: Marta] #290105
04/08/13 07:13 PM
04/08/13 07:13 PM
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Glad I was not the only one that did not figure out my purpose in the alloted 5 seconds.

Maybe there are more segments that we need to watch.

Re: How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: Rich57] #290312
04/09/13 03:37 PM
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AlTurtle Offline OP
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I finally watched it. Sounds pretty accurate, if a bit way too abstract.


Principles are simple. Applying them is a tough U-Do-It project. Go 4 it!
Al Turtle
Re: How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: AlTurtle] #290331
04/09/13 04:12 PM
04/09/13 04:12 PM
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I really enjoyed the video. My take-away was that I could find my Purpose in just doing a great job at whatever my chosen vocation was. This was a big relief, because whenever I had one of those "I can't do anything right" days I felt like my vocation wasn't a high enough calling or whatever. So it's okay if I'm resetting passwords today as long as I'm doing my personal best at it wink


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: NewEveryDay] #290339
04/09/13 04:25 PM
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That's what I thought, NED. And he talks about making steps forward, and how it gets easier. My pastor used to compare living your purpose to a dimmer switch, the more you practiced it the brighter it bacame.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: believer] #293930
04/27/13 06:52 PM
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8 Mistakes that Hold You Back from the Life You Want

My great passion is showing people how surprisingly easy it can be to create a fulfilling life they deeply love. You dont necessarily have to make radical, risky changes to have a much richer, joyful experience of life, but you do have to take the steps that move you forward into new ways of doing things.
Whether your life needs some minor tweaks or you long to take huge leaps, here are some of the most common habits, beliefs and attitudes that can block you from experiencing the positive change you long for:

1) Waiting for the perfect time

According to Jonathan Fields, author of Uncertainty, you kill the dream when you kill the butterflies.

In an interview posted on the Amex Open Forum, Fields expands on this by saying:

If you kill the butterflies in your stomach, youll kill the dream. Most people back away when they get that nervous, uncomfortable feeling. But that feeling signals youre doing something that matters to you. Embrace the feeling. Lean into the discomfort. Try to understand what the feeling is telling you. Train yourself in the alchemy of fear.

Dont wait until youre not afraid anymore (that may never happen) or youve eliminated all risk (ditto). It will be way too late by then. Be brave, start small, just do something.

2) Assuming that you know how things will turn out

Many people dont get started on something new because theyre afraid they already know how things will likely turn out: badly. Probabilities and statistics aside, you have no way of knowing what will actually happen in your case. Ive observed time and again that life likes to reward our courage in truly amazing and surprising ways. If something is calling to you in your heart, you owe it to yourself to at least give it a try. Be optimistic and leave the results up to life.

3) Thinking things will never change

I can be such a Polyanna but really, its with good reason. I host a local Live a Life You Love Club for women (based on my book, Live a Life You Love), and it has been so satisfying to watch their lives change, even in just the three short months weve been meeting. Some were initially convinced that difficult circumstances that had been in their lives for years would forever block them from implementing real change. Yet as they took small steps to change what they could, the circumstances they had long seen as hopeless started to change as well. Ive seen this time and again with coaching clients. Commit to your dreams and mountains will move.

4) Listening to the negative voice inside

You are not special, that voice you hear inside that discourages you, belittles you, tells you youll fail, tells you to give up, tells you not to bother, is inside every single person. Some of us have just learned not to listen, or how to forge ahead anyway. When you step out of your comfort zone (or even just think about it), that voice will get louder. This is so predictable its almost boring. Dont let it stop you, it tries to stop everyone.

5) Worrying about money

Almost everyone worries about money. Wealthy people are often afraid of risk or change because theyre afraid they might lose what they have. The more financially challenged tell themselves theyll wait until they have enough or avoid risk because theyre also afraid of losing what little they have.

Im not saying you should put yourself or your family at significant financial risk, but dont let money fears stop you from doing what you long to do. Odds are you can find a creative way to make it happen on some level, or at least get started, no matter what your circumstances are.

6) Listening to dream-killers

Be very careful who you share your dreams and plans with, especially if your ideas are unconventional or involve significant change. Whenever you change your own status quo - or even contemplate it this brings up everyone elses stuff (a.k.a. fears). Many people will get a strange sort of satisfaction in telling you why something wont work, and will happily tell you about someone else who tried and failed spectacularly. Most worthwhile changes involve some sort of risk, and others will have failed trying. You could well be the one who succeeds. The only way to find out is to try.

7) Thinking youll have to do it all yourself

I will never tire of quoting the brilliant William H. Murray:

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

Your responsibility is to prepare yourself as best you can, show up, and do what you can. Many times simply getting started will unleash a domino-like cascade of unexpected help and opening doors. If you have a big dream in your heart, life will help you achieve it once you get started. For a time it may even look like nothing is happening or all is lost. Plant the seeds you can and something good will eventually come out of your efforts. Even if its not quite the result you expected. As they say, God laughs at our plans. And usually has an even better plan.

8) Thinking that you need to be ready or perfect or the best

When I tell the story of how I became a professional dancer after finishing my medical education, I always make sure I point out that Im not actually that good a dancer. Sure, people will apparently pay me to perform, but Im far, far, far from the best. And I mean really far. Still, I knew in my heart that this was something I had to do and went for it. The results were extraordinary and completely out of proportion to what I deserved based on skills and experience. Just get started already, youll improve as you go. Starting when youre not quite ready is actually the best way to get better, fast.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pres...e-life-you-want


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: believer] #294095
04/29/13 03:29 PM
04/29/13 03:29 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,424
midwest
Miranda Offline
Global Moderator
Miranda  Offline
Global Moderator
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,424
midwest
B,

This is REALLY good. It dovetails very nicely into what I'm reading at the moment about vulnerability. A very long time ago, a therapist I had said this "feel the fear and do it anyway" and that really DID work for me...but I felt like that was to accomplish big things only. Silly me, it's to accomplish ANYTHING.


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: believer] #401111
12/09/15 09:27 PM
12/09/15 09:27 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 3,611
wiser_now Offline
Member
wiser_now  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 3,611
Originally Posted By: believer
8 Mistakes that Hold You Back from the Life You Want

My great passion is showing people how surprisingly easy it can be to create a fulfilling life they deeply love. You dont necessarily have to make radical, risky changes to have a much richer, joyful experience of life, but you do have to take the steps that move you forward into new ways of doing things.
Whether your life needs some minor tweaks or you long to take huge leaps, here are some of the most common habits, beliefs and attitudes that can block you from experiencing the positive change you long for:

1) Waiting for the perfect time

According to Jonathan Fields, author of Uncertainty, you kill the dream when you kill the butterflies.

In an interview posted on the Amex Open Forum, Fields expands on this by saying:

If you kill the butterflies in your stomach, youll kill the dream. Most people back away when they get that nervous, uncomfortable feeling. But that feeling signals youre doing something that matters to you. Embrace the feeling. Lean into the discomfort. Try to understand what the feeling is telling you. Train yourself in the alchemy of fear.

Dont wait until youre not afraid anymore (that may never happen) or youve eliminated all risk (ditto). It will be way too late by then. Be brave, start small, just do something.

2) Assuming that you know how things will turn out

Many people dont get started on something new because theyre afraid they already know how things will likely turn out: badly. Probabilities and statistics aside, you have no way of knowing what will actually happen in your case. Ive observed time and again that life likes to reward our courage in truly amazing and surprising ways. If something is calling to you in your heart, you owe it to yourself to at least give it a try. Be optimistic and leave the results up to life.

3) Thinking things will never change

I can be such a Polyanna but really, its with good reason. I host a local Live a Life You Love Club for women (based on my book, Live a Life You Love), and it has been so satisfying to watch their lives change, even in just the three short months weve been meeting. Some were initially convinced that difficult circumstances that had been in their lives for years would forever block them from implementing real change. Yet as they took small steps to change what they could, the circumstances they had long seen as hopeless started to change as well. Ive seen this time and again with coaching clients. Commit to your dreams and mountains will move.

4) Listening to the negative voice inside

You are not special, that voice you hear inside that discourages you, belittles you, tells you youll fail, tells you to give up, tells you not to bother, is inside every single person. Some of us have just learned not to listen, or how to forge ahead anyway. When you step out of your comfort zone (or even just think about it), that voice will get louder. This is so predictable its almost boring. Dont let it stop you, it tries to stop everyone.

5) Worrying about money

Almost everyone worries about money. Wealthy people are often afraid of risk or change because theyre afraid they might lose what they have. The more financially challenged tell themselves theyll wait until they have enough or avoid risk because theyre also afraid of losing what little they have.

Im not saying you should put yourself or your family at significant financial risk, but dont let money fears stop you from doing what you long to do. Odds are you can find a creative way to make it happen on some level, or at least get started, no matter what your circumstances are.

6) Listening to dream-killers

Be very careful who you share your dreams and plans with, especially if your ideas are unconventional or involve significant change. Whenever you change your own status quo - or even contemplate it this brings up everyone elses stuff (a.k.a. fears). Many people will get a strange sort of satisfaction in telling you why something wont work, and will happily tell you about someone else who tried and failed spectacularly. Most worthwhile changes involve some sort of risk, and others will have failed trying. You could well be the one who succeeds. The only way to find out is to try.

7) Thinking youll have to do it all yourself

I will never tire of quoting the brilliant William H. Murray:

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

Your responsibility is to prepare yourself as best you can, show up, and do what you can. Many times simply getting started will unleash a domino-like cascade of unexpected help and opening doors. If you have a big dream in your heart, life will help you achieve it once you get started. For a time it may even look like nothing is happening or all is lost. Plant the seeds you can and something good will eventually come out of your efforts. Even if its not quite the result you expected. As they say, God laughs at our plans. And usually has an even better plan.

8) Thinking that you need to be ready or perfect or the best

When I tell the story of how I became a professional dancer after finishing my medical education, I always make sure I point out that Im not actually that good a dancer. Sure, people will apparently pay me to perform, but Im far, far, far from the best. And I mean really far. Still, I knew in my heart that this was something I had to do and went for it. The results were extraordinary and completely out of proportion to what I deserved based on skills and experience. Just get started already, youll improve as you go. Starting when youre not quite ready is actually the best way to get better, fast.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pres...e-life-you-want


I love this.

Al,

I just wanted to tell you that your work is still something I go back to time and time again. I know things around this part of the woods (the Whiteboard) is a little slow... but that doesn't mean you're forgotten.

Thank you for everything you've done here... it is a treasure trove!


A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. --Andre Maurois

Re: How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds [Re: wiser_now] #401131
12/09/15 10:06 PM
12/09/15 10:06 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 908
Northwest Washington State, US...
AlTurtle Offline OP
Retired Therapist
AlTurtle  Offline OP
Retired Therapist
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 908
Northwest Washington State, US...
Good to see you wiser_now. I'm still here. I'm very glad to have met all the MA people and to have contributed. And Merry Christmas (all other cultures translate my words while keeping my meaning, please.)!


Principles are simple. Applying them is a tough U-Do-It project. Go 4 it!
Al Turtle
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