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Financial counselor says communication is key when mixing money and marriage - Grand Forks Herald
#374130
01/21/15 12:47 AM
01/21/15 12:47 AM
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 12,611
The Dark Side of the Moon
AntigoneRisen
OP
Board of Directors
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OP
Board of Directors
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 12,611
The Dark Side of the Moon
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Michael and Jill Donahue of Tolna, N.D., have separate checking, saving and investment accounts.
They also split household expenses equally, paying for them out of an account to which each contributes the same amount.
They've been managing their money this way for 30 years.
"We would not do it any other way," Michael said.
"(It's the) only way to go," Jill said.
When they married 30 years ago, each had been divorced and both were employed. Michael was paying child support; Jill was receiving it. They opened a separate checking account for her child.
Having separate accounts "leaves a clear audit trail," Michael said. "We could track everything."
They have a similar approach to handling money.
"We're extremely value-oriented — which is a polite way of saying we're cheap," he said. "It's been said that when Jill is done squeezing a nickel, the buffalo's eyes are bulging."
The couple set financial ground rules early on.
"It was all discussed before we ever got married," Jill said. "(Having that discussion) made us more comfortable. We knew how we felt about money and how it should be handled — and saving, too."
The Donahues' decision-making system for purchases is clear.
"If it's for the household or the farm, it's definitely discussed," Michael said. "If it's an individual (purchase), we ask each other's opinion."
Jill said, "We feel we can do as we wish with our money — or not do."
Each has individual mutual fund accounts and together they have a joint mutual fund account "that we use for ready cash, if we ever need it," Michael said.
Their system does not resemble that of their parents, who had "one joint account, one checkbook," he said. "I can't fathom how you could operate that way anymore."
Maintaining separate accounts "is fantastic for us," he said. "I don't understand why more people don't do this."
Among the biggest benefits is "no money arguments — ever," he said...
Critical Thinking: The Other National Deficit
"That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." - Christopher Hitchens
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Re: Financial counselor says communication is key when mixing money and marriage - Grand Forks Herald
[Re: Jayne241]
#374192
01/21/15 07:03 PM
01/21/15 07:03 PM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 9,381
TX
CajunRose
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 9,381
TX
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I live in a community property state, so it really doesn't matter whether you have one account or separate accounts - the assets and the debt accumulated during the marriage belong to both of you, no matter whose name it starts out in.
In both my marriages we had/have joint accounts, but I married men who had very similar money philosphies to me.
My H's child support gets taken directly out of his check every month before the check hits our bank account. The child support I receive goes directly into the joint checking account - and that's where we pay for day care, activities, medical bills, and the daily stuff that adds up to our standard of living.
In terms of inheritance, our kids were aged 3-7 when we got married, so they are being raised as siblings. We're going to split things equally among the 3 of them. If they were older at the time we married, we might have chosen differently.
OTOH, my grandparents had separate accounts for almost their entire marriage. She soon discovered he took frugal to an extreme, so in the late 1940s she got a job. He gave her a set amount every month to pay bills and buy groceries, and the rest was "his". All of her money was "hers". She said that's the only way they managed to stay married.
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