I am re-reading this book again for the second time.

I have looked around to try to find a review of this book here on the forum and have been unsuccessful.
I thought I had written my own review too but been unable to find that on some other forums.

So I would welcome anyone else who would like to review this book as I believe it is excellent.

I also just bought two copies to give away to others who right now are happily married.
Also my son just got engaged and I think it would be a good book for him and his fiance to read.

I will rewrite my review in a few weeks.

Anyone else care to share?

I have a copy.....I will try to re read soon.

I believe the book is excellent for gaining a basic understanding of the emotional dynamics in a relationship. It introduces a bank-account concept for interactions with your spouse, which really helps in understanding what builds emotional connection...and what destroys it (as it gives a basic overview of Love Busters).

I do think it is most potent when used in conjunction with the Love Busters book. Otherwise, one will continue to withdraw as fast or faster than one makes deposits.

Send a PM to Mark1952. He has an updated version of that book which he says is even better. I couldn't find his post about it but he can tell you.

Personally, I like HN/HN. It was one of the main books that helped me learn HOW to communicate with my H/WS. It helped remove some of the cobwebs in our communication and get to the real issues (his being a WS). Once that stumbling block was removed, it made it easier to communicate from my side and gave him less wiggle room from his WS side.

I did learn I had to cultivate patience and be ok with not having to tell all, all at once or all the time. If I could deduce that he wasn't in the right frame of mind for a particular discussion (even if it was a simple one), I knew that I had to pull back and wait for a better opportunity.

Learning to ask permission to ask a question got a lot farther than just blurting it out.

Hope it helps.
Orchid

The updated HNHN doesn't really have a lot of new stuff.

My first choice for teaching the Harley/Love Bank model is the book in which he puts his whole process together; Fall In Love/Stay In Love. The combination of HNHN, Love Busters[ and the workbook, 5 Steps to Romantic Love is a lot better for in depth understanding of each of the ideas but FILSIL includes parts that are really only hinted at in the other books. These things include his Policy of Radical Honesty and Policy of Joint Agreement, both were later additions to the program.