Hello BeckyRob, Yup. Pretty shocking after 40 or more years. But I gather it's awful after even 5 or 10. Tis for me ever that process of "waking up" to being "blind" and then figuring out how to move forward. If you read my Map Of Relationships this is just the coming out of the Door#2 phase. All about relearning and rereading history and building a new world of openness and trust. Not an easy or short path. I suggest you find someone with experience to walk with you. Maybe a professional who has the experience.