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Birth control over 40 #335454
02/13/14 07:31 PM
02/13/14 07:31 PM
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silentlucidity Offline OP
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silentlucidity  Offline OP
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Hello everybody.

I'm looking into having an IUD inserted (copper) as my new form of birth control and wanted to get some input from the ladies here and their form of birth control and issues with former birth control.

I was thinking of tubal ligation, but don't want to deal with anesthesia. This isn't off the table, but I'm leaning toward IUD.

My current BC is Nuvaring. I like it, but want to get off of the hormones and have something easier to deal with.

What say you?

Also, couldn't figure out which forum to post this is, so it's fine to move it if necessary.

Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: silentlucidity] #335456
02/13/14 07:41 PM
02/13/14 07:41 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
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midwest
Miranda Offline
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Miranda  Offline
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I had a copper IUD, loved it, best thing ever. Of course mine didn't stay put and turned out to be a real bear to remove, but that had more to do with the fact that I had Frankenstein fibroids than the IUD itself.

I'm a fan.


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Miranda] #335461
02/13/14 08:01 PM
02/13/14 08:01 PM
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Posts: 2,791
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silentlucidity Offline OP
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silentlucidity  Offline OP
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Thank, Miranda.

I would love to do tubal ligation. Just iffy on the whole going to sleepy sleep

Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: silentlucidity] #335472
02/13/14 08:29 PM
02/13/14 08:29 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,918
Canada
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*~aeri~* Offline
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*~aeri~*  Offline
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I love this conversation!

I haven't used birth control in 5 years....NOTHING. NADA.

I'd be thrilled if I turned up pregnant, though....I guess that's the difference. laugh1

PS--was on the pill for 20 years....loved it. It was the only thing that kept me from losing my mind with pain every month because I had ovarian cysts.

Last edited by *~aeri~*; 02/13/14 08:30 PM.

Married my best friend 7/23/05



Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: *~aeri~*] #335475
02/13/14 08:42 PM
02/13/14 08:42 PM
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silentlucidity Offline OP
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silentlucidity  Offline OP
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Thanks aeri. I've been on some form of birth control since I was 15. At 42 and after having my son, I'm ready to be done

Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: silentlucidity] #335476
02/13/14 08:50 PM
02/13/14 08:50 PM
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SoCal
Chrysalis Offline
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Chrysalis  Offline
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i had a tubal ligation when my youngest was born and have never regretted it.


Chrysalis
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Chrysalis] #335478
02/13/14 08:58 PM
02/13/14 08:58 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
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midwest
Miranda Offline
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Miranda  Offline
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a while back I asked what I would do for birth control after they removed my IUD, the doc said "nothing" at your age it's not necessary. I said "excuse me, I'm still menstruating" she said "yeah, but at your age it's so unlikely, you don't need anything"

I was like, "UH NO!!!! WAY wrong answer!" Now I have no uterus, NOW I don't need anything, thank you very much!!!


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: *~aeri~*] #335483
02/13/14 09:05 PM
02/13/14 09:05 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 772
southern USA
at peace Offline
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at peace  Offline
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I've been on the pill for nearly 32 years (I know...yikes). Now that I'm almost 48 years old, we feel it's time to look at other options until I make it to the other side of menopause.

She suggested either a tubal ligation OR the less invasive Essure procedure, along with an endometrial ablation (to stop the monthly bleeding...yay!).

If there's any possibility you may want to get pregnant later, though, none of those would be an option. At 48 and about to marry off my youngest child, that is soooooooo not a possibility for me. wink

Lori


"To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice."
wife...mom...nana...happy smile
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: at peace] #335484
02/13/14 09:17 PM
02/13/14 09:17 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
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NewEveryDay Offline
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My ob/gyn recommended Essure as a permanent solution, but if I won the lotto or opened a preschool or some other situation where I wouldn't have to hand him/her/them over to other caretakers right away, and had a stable partner, the first thing I'd want to do is try for another baby or two. So I did the Mirena IUD, the amount of chemicals is less than the ring, and my time of the month is so much easier now that I wish I'd done this years ago.


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: NewEveryDay] #335486
02/13/14 09:28 PM
02/13/14 09:28 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,424
midwest
Miranda Offline
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Miranda  Offline
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I did the Mirena first and the hormones in it did NOT agree with me at all, so I had it for a year or so and switched the copper. I was still in my 30s at the time so they weren't wanting to close my babymaker down for good, even though I was okay with that concept from the time I was in my late teens. That sucker caused me more harm then good my whole damn life..


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Miranda] #335495
02/13/14 10:45 PM
02/13/14 10:45 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
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silentlucidity Offline OP
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There is no possibility that I will want any more children.

I am 42 and the thought of driving my kid to band practice when I'm 57 kinda scares me. I think the experience of teens has made me think very critically about where I want to be in 15 years. I'm ready.

I read about Essure and am not essure that it's right for me. Lots of issues with rejection and complications I'm just not interested in pursuing.

Chrysalis, thank you for the input on tubal ligation. I need to speak with my doc to find out if performing the surgery under local or epidural is a possibility, although epidural comes with it's own risks.

I greatly appreciate all of the input. This is great!

Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: silentlucidity] #335508
02/14/14 01:42 AM
02/14/14 01:42 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 9,381
TX
CajunRose Offline
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We've pretty much decided the alternative to birth control pills is up to HIM.

I am so tired of the artificial hormones - I want my own body back. His turn.


Current spouse: Night. D10, D9, S7

About me

You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

http://www.divorcedmomfinances.com
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: CajunRose] #335514
02/14/14 02:00 AM
02/14/14 02:00 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
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silentlucidity Offline OP
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silentlucidity  Offline OP
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We've had the conversation. He's fine with just going back to condoms but will not get a vasectomy. I want my body back, too. If I want a permanent or more permanent method it's going to be me.

Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: silentlucidity] #335517
02/14/14 02:16 AM
02/14/14 02:16 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 9,381
TX
CajunRose Offline
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CajunRose  Offline
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I don't trust condoms. Those are the reason I am here today wink


Current spouse: Night. D10, D9, S7

About me

You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

http://www.divorcedmomfinances.com
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: CajunRose] #335518
02/14/14 02:17 AM
02/14/14 02:17 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
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silentlucidity Offline OP
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silentlucidity  Offline OP
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Exactly why I want to make things more permanent. The more information I get the more I think tubal ligation is appropriate.

Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: silentlucidity] #335527
02/14/14 06:06 AM
02/14/14 06:06 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
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Ace Offline
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Ace  Offline
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Originally Posted By: silentlucidity
Exactly why I want to make things more permanent. The more information I get the more I think tubal ligation is appropriate.


I had a tubal ligation after our youngest child was born 30+ years ago. A few months after the procedure I looked for my scar and when I couldn't find it I panicked, wondering if I had actually had the :::snip::: or if I was still thinking about it.

Then I remembered the scar was in my belly button and it reminded me how relatively simple the procedure had been. I'll bet technology has progressed so it might be possible to NOT have to be put totally under during the out-patient process.

I think the hardest part was pleading "poverty" to the board of the only hospital in town. It was a Catholic-owned facility and they would not snip unless there was a good reason to do so. Fortunately, the "We can't afford another child" was effective for us, even though I was only in my late 20's.




We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Ace] #335533
02/14/14 12:48 PM
02/14/14 12:48 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 17,282
The Castle Aaaggghh...
herfuturesbright Offline
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The Castle Aaaggghh...
I had a tubal ligation and physically there was no problem with it whatsoever.

Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Ace] #335536
02/14/14 02:04 PM
02/14/14 02:04 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,747
T
Telly Offline
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Telly  Offline
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Creighton Method of Natural Family planning works for us and many other folks.

No snipping, cutting, hormones or otherwise altering anyone.


Married 13 years
D10
D5
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Telly] #335555
02/14/14 05:15 PM
02/14/14 05:15 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,459
Pacific NW
Kittycat Offline
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I got a tubal with local, not general anesthesia. I did not want the risks of general anesthesia. There are no nerves in there so the only pain is when the Dr enters the area. That can be numbed with a local anesthesia. And you can be given a relaxant and get through the 15 minute procedure easily.

Before I got my tubal, at age 30 (20 some...years ago) I researched it heavily. I found out in many countries, even the USA, it was done with an outpatient procedure, with local anesthesia, and you go home a few hours later.

I was hoping the surgeon would do that for me. First I questioned my Kaiser surgeon and asked if he had ever made a mistake/error in surgery. He said he had done thousands of these luckily with no errors. That was good. I told him I wanted local anesthesia and he said OK, he had done several of these before. They would have an anesthesiologist there in case i got too scared and they would up the light sedative. But it was not scary!

First they give something to relax you. After a while they bring you into the room. You are very relaxed. They hook you up to tubes to give a little more relaxant and other things if they need to.

A sheet is put up so you don't see the doctor doing his thing. Then, the Dr numbs two areas on your stomach and inserts the two instruments. They use a little air to inflate the area to get a better view. You feel a little full. You do not feel a bit of pain so far except when the Dr grabs your stomach with his hand to insert the instrument. When he does this he warns you that your skin might get a tiny bruise from where he grabs it. It feels like a pinch.

The Dr gets in there with the light/scope and he talks to me. Said everything looks good in there, etc. The nurse held my hand. They let me know that if I could not handle things to tell them and more light sedative would be given me.

I knew I would hear two or four beeps from the small "shoe box size" machine when the two tubes were cauterized. Yes, I did hear those. He did three beeps each side. Then I knew it was about over. Yay. The Dr took the instruments out in one second and put stitches on the two tiny areas, one near my belly button and one down lower.

I was wheeled into recovery, given ice to eat, and slept about an hour or two. Then my boyfriend came in and I sat there for another hour until they knew I was fine... and I went home.

I rested for the weekend, there was minor pain they gave me Tylox for, but it was nothing. Then, Monday, that next week, I was going on my walks and doing things with no pain.

Being prepared for the thing in advance, knowing each step of what would happen so I was not surprised, and knowing it would only take 10-15 minutes was the key for me. The sedative was great too. The Doctor was the best also.

Try doing some research and you will probably find many more of these are done with local rather than general anesthesia! It is much safer. And faster and less painful than most dental procedures.

Last edited by Kittycat; 02/14/14 05:28 PM.

Formerly Baba, Stellakat, Bubbles

"Please remember that what I say here in this post is ONLY my opinion and it is not meant to offend in any way!"
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Kittycat] #335557
02/14/14 05:31 PM
02/14/14 05:31 PM
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SFB Offline
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Why is Hubby so against a vasectomy?

Interesting.

SFB


Finding an ethical way to deal with pain, fear, disappointment etc..is part of the experience of becoming a stronger person...one who is driven by compassion instead of compulsion...ie I have a legitimate reason to be stressed out right now...however, my response to it will determine how others percieve me, and myself. (quoting Star*Fish)
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Kittycat] #335558
02/14/14 05:34 PM
02/14/14 05:34 PM
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silentlucidity Offline OP
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Thank you Telly. I will have to pass on the method you put forth. I'm honestly not in a place where I want to add tracking my cycle to my routine. I'm ok to be labeled lazy on this one.

Kitty, thank you so much for that post. When I see my physician, I will ask all the pertinent questions and get referrals for more than one doc. Great information!

Hrf, appreciate your post, too. It's reassuring.

SFB, he doesn't want to deal with time off of work, and he just doesn't want to deal with the pain. That's on him. *I* don't want anymore kids.

Last edited by silentlucidity; 02/14/14 05:36 PM.
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: silentlucidity] #335559
02/14/14 05:40 PM
02/14/14 05:40 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
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Pacific NW
Kittycat Offline
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Hi, I just did some research and even at John Hopkins Hospital tubal ligations (Mini Laproscopies) are offered with general AND local anesthesia choices.

It has been found to be better all around to do it with local and light sedation. You can get through this. Educate yourself and role play what is going to happen during the surgery with someone (I did this, my boyfriend was an engineer who developed heart monitors and had to witness many of these operations first hand for his job) He walked me through it all, drew pictures of the cauterizing machine, showed me the sound of the beeps I would hear, etc, etc. I was well prepared.


Formerly Baba, Stellakat, Bubbles

"Please remember that what I say here in this post is ONLY my opinion and it is not meant to offend in any way!"
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Kittycat] #335560
02/14/14 05:45 PM
02/14/14 05:45 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,459
Pacific NW
Kittycat Offline
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It was quite interesting that when I dated my now husband, he was thrilled that I already had this tubal. To him, it was a big plus. And a plus to me who always wanted to remain child free/abortion free.

He knew that because of my tubal, he would not have to get a vasectomy. He said later he would have gotten one for me however....if we had needed it.


Formerly Baba, Stellakat, Bubbles

"Please remember that what I say here in this post is ONLY my opinion and it is not meant to offend in any way!"
Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: Kittycat] #335561
02/14/14 05:58 PM
02/14/14 05:58 PM
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Posts: 2,791
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silentlucidity Offline OP
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My husband would be happy to wear condoms. That's what he is willing to do. With that, I have made the decision to make things more permanent. I'm ok with that and don't want to spend post after post about how horrible he is for not getting snipped.

Perhaps it's curious to others, but it makes sense that he has a choice and he's making it. I get not wanting to have his junk messed with. I've had mine messed with enough to understand. It's not something he will do.

This thread is about what *I* can do to protect myself from unwanted pregnancies. Condoms alone doesn't satisfy me.

Re: Birth control over 40 [Re: silentlucidity] #335562
02/14/14 06:07 PM
02/14/14 06:07 PM
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Posts: 4,459
Pacific NW
Kittycat Offline
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I had a girlfriend who demanded her husband get snipped. Sadly it went badly and then whenever they had sex/or he gets an erection, he has pain. What a nightmare. She is quite mean and jokes about it but it is not funny. Even though tubals are more invasive, they do not affect our sex organs. I would never lay this on my man. I wanted to do it, and I did do it!!!!!


Formerly Baba, Stellakat, Bubbles

"Please remember that what I say here in this post is ONLY my opinion and it is not meant to offend in any way!"
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