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Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Mark1952] #282250
02/26/13 07:19 PM
02/26/13 07:19 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,690
SoCal
Chrysalis Offline
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Chrysalis  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,690
SoCal
Chrisner, you showed us all how it's done---with grace and class.


Chrysalis
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Chrysalis] #282281
02/26/13 09:31 PM
02/26/13 09:31 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 5,409
for to fade Offline
Member
for to fade  Offline
Member
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 5,409
This is so very sad.

I am going to miss your knights of ni avatar and wow, always right on posts.

god speed to where ever you are and happiness and all love

be the love

Last edited by Tinkerbell; 02/26/13 09:35 PM.
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: for to fade] #282331
02/27/13 02:27 AM
02/27/13 02:27 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 358
Pacific Northwest-US
johnstwin Offline
Member
johnstwin  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 358
Pacific Northwest-US
"...may angels sing thee to thy rest..."


"Do or do not. There is no try." -Yoda
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: johnstwin] #282340
02/27/13 04:03 AM
02/27/13 04:03 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Ace Offline
Advocate
Ace  Offline
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Originally Posted By: From the User's List
chrisner (Member #116)
User
Registered On: Fri Oct 08 2010 12:00 PM
Last Online: Fri Jan 18 2013 09:49 AM


Thank you Coach C for checking in occasionally. May you rest in peace knowing that you inspired many (including me) to register and seek online marital help from another place over 6 years ago. My H and I will always be grateful.

Condolences to your family, friends, online buddies and athletes who were blessed to be coached by you. May they/we all be comforted during this difficult time.

Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Ace] #282350
02/27/13 06:11 AM
02/27/13 06:11 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 9,007
The Farm
Jayne241 Offline
Member
Jayne241  Offline
Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 9,007
The Farm
What a fitting tribute this thread, the title, and his last post.

"To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die."
-Thomas Campbell


42.
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Jayne241] #282451
02/27/13 07:14 PM
02/27/13 07:14 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 30
A
Aurora Offline
Member
Aurora  Offline
Member
A
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 30
Wow this is shocking news to read.

RIP, Chrisner.

Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Aurora] #282473
02/28/13 01:21 AM
02/28/13 01:21 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 450
wildhorses Offline
Member
wildhorses  Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 450
Coach, there are no words..........

You are missed.

Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: wildhorses] #282482
02/28/13 01:42 AM
02/28/13 01:42 AM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,659
L
LadyGrey Offline
Professional Attorney
LadyGrey  Offline
Professional Attorney
L
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,659
I am devastated beyond reason.

He gave me hope that kindness and empathy will prevail in the end.

He gave me hope that bitterness and anger are powerless in the face of compassion and caring.

He gave me hope that deciding to do the right thing, day after day, will someday lead to peace, that generosity of spirit is never wasted.

He gave me hope that there can be real healing from the horribleness of infidelity, that infidelity need not be always and forever the punctuation on the marriage.

He gave me hope that despite my failings, I am not a failure because the children of this marriage redeem all.

He gave me hope that love will always carry me back to the bloody beaches of life, even when I am certain I am drowning.

What a gem of a human being.


Bidden or not bidden God is present.
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: LadyGrey] #282558
02/28/13 02:26 PM
02/28/13 02:26 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Ace Offline
Advocate
Ace  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Originally Posted By: LadyGrey
I am devastated beyond reason.

He gave me hope that kindness and empathy will prevail in the end.

He gave me hope that bitterness and anger are powerless in the face of compassion and caring.

He gave me hope that deciding to do the right thing, day after day, will someday lead to peace, that generosity of spirit is never wasted.

He gave me hope that there can be real healing from the horribleness of infidelity, that infidelity need not be always and forever the punctuation on the marriage.

He gave me hope that despite my failings, I am not a failure because the children of this marriage redeem all.

He gave me hope that love will always carry me back to the bloody beaches of life, even when I am certain I am drowning.

What a gem of a human being.


Beautifully stated, LG. Tears are streaming down my face. cry cry cry

Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Ace] #282925
03/01/13 10:23 PM
03/01/13 10:23 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,105
SFB Offline
Member
SFB  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,105
We sent flowers to his Celebration of Life that is happening on Saturday.

With the Following:

To Mike:

Thank you and we miss you, from all your friends that you helped online with your humor, compassion and grace.
Your story inspired all of us that the "Best is Yet to Be!" And you were able to live that way for the past 6 years.

From the Board of Directors of Marriage Advocates

From the Moderators and Staff at Marriage Advocates

And from the Killer Bee's Thank you for the nickname, and the support:

SDGuy, 2Long, Beau. Rin, Bugsmom, Foxy, SilentLucidity, Queenie, Not, LilSis, Chai Ace, LadyGrey ToBeContinued and others who have passed thru..


I hope to travel to Split Rock Lighthouse one day to honor your memory one day.

SFB.



Finding an ethical way to deal with pain, fear, disappointment etc..is part of the experience of becoming a stronger person...one who is driven by compassion instead of compulsion...ie I have a legitimate reason to be stressed out right now...however, my response to it will determine how others percieve me, and myself. (quoting Star*Fish)
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: SFB] #282929
03/01/13 10:52 PM
03/01/13 10:52 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
Surface of the sun
silentlucidity Offline
Member
silentlucidity  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
Surface of the sun
That's lovely.

Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: silentlucidity] #282938
03/02/13 01:27 AM
03/02/13 01:27 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,070
2long Offline
member
2long  Offline
member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,070
Thanks for doing that.

-ol' 2long

Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: SFB] #283615
03/05/13 02:39 PM
03/05/13 02:39 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Ace Offline
Advocate
Ace  Offline
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Originally Posted By: SFB

And from the Killer Bee's Thank you for the nickname, and the support:

SDGuy, 2Long, Beau. Rin, Bugsmom, Foxy, SilentLucidity, Queenie, Not, LilSis, Chai Ace, LadyGrey ToBeContinued and others who have passed thru..




Thanks for including me "with" Chai. I'm not here much and as far as I know, Chai hasn't been here in awhile either. Has anyone been in touch with her? If not, I'll try.

Again, thanks for this thoughtful gesture.

Ace

Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Ace] #283626
03/05/13 03:07 PM
03/05/13 03:07 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
Surface of the sun
silentlucidity Offline
Member
silentlucidity  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
Surface of the sun
I sent Chai a message on Facebook, but have not heard back.


Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: silentlucidity] #283682
03/05/13 06:14 PM
03/05/13 06:14 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,105
SFB Offline
Member
SFB  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,105
Queenie posted over on MB yesterday. She said hello to Hope3343.

SFB


Finding an ethical way to deal with pain, fear, disappointment etc..is part of the experience of becoming a stronger person...one who is driven by compassion instead of compulsion...ie I have a legitimate reason to be stressed out right now...however, my response to it will determine how others percieve me, and myself. (quoting Star*Fish)
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: SFB] #283822
03/06/13 02:12 AM
03/06/13 02:12 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 162
Ohio
Chailover Offline
Member
Chailover  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 162
Ohio
I was so saddened to hear of the passing of our dear, dear friend. We will miss you Chrisner.

SFB, thank you for including me in the list. Chris and I came onto the boards about the same time in 2007. He was a role model for many of us who were hurting beyond belief. Although hurting himself, he always made it a priority to cheer up the rest of us. One of the best writers around. He had a way with words that I can only dream of having.

SL, I didn't see the FB message. I'm not on there much.

I miss all of you and owe you an update on my blog.



Divorced 12/09
ex BW
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Chailover] #283874
03/06/13 01:11 PM
03/06/13 01:11 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Ace Offline
Advocate
Ace  Offline
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Originally Posted By: Chailover


I miss all of you and owe you an update on my blog.



Wow, what I great update on your blog! Chrisner must be grinning from ear to ear! He once called me the "most upbeat resident in Betrayedsville" but like you've said, one of my many inspirations was him.

So glad to see your update, Chai.

Hugs,
Ace

Last edited by Ace; 03/06/13 01:15 PM. Reason: add link.....did I hit the current post #283824? If not, could someone please fix it?
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: LadyGrey] #284319
03/08/13 01:53 AM
03/08/13 01:53 AM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,592
Mary Emma Offline
Member
Mary Emma  Offline
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,592
Originally Posted By: LadyGrey
I am devastated beyond reason.

He gave me hope that kindness and empathy will prevail in the end.

He gave me hope that bitterness and anger are powerless in the face of compassion and caring.

He gave me hope that deciding to do the right thing, day after day, will someday lead to peace, that generosity of spirit is never wasted.

He gave me hope that there can be real healing from the horribleness of infidelity, that infidelity need not be always and forever the punctuation on the marriage.

He gave me hope that despite my failings, I am not a failure because the children of this marriage redeem all.

He gave me hope that love will always carry me back to the bloody beaches of life, even when I am certain I am drowning.

What a gem of a human being.


Wow, he seems like a wonderful person.


Me 41
H 40
S 9
S 6

I want to live in a world where George Zimmerman offered Trayvon Martin a ride home to get him out of the rain that night. -Bishop G. Brewer
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Mary Emma] #286951
03/20/13 03:04 AM
03/20/13 03:04 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,883
Gateway to the West
N
Not2fun Offline
Member
Not2fun  Offline
Member
N
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,883
Gateway to the West
Originally Posted By: Mary Emma


Wow, he seems like a wonderful person.


He really, really was.....

I'm late in getting this in....

I was really thrown for a loop with Chris' passing, like so many of us were.
I don't have the writing capabilities or poetic justice that Chris had....I would try...but really??? Not so much

He was/IS a shining beacon for so many.

I was not part of the original "Killer B's" (yeah, I'm putting that out there), instead, THEY were the ones whom I would learn from in my earliest of dark days 5 yrs ago.

I had the privilege of getting to know Chrisner even more, here on MA than I did on MB. And it was a privilege.
He had a way of putting right in the middle of his own life, not in the awful narcissistic way, but in the way that only true authors can.

I imagine, that he went in peace. Peace with his past, his present and his future.

I can only imagine the pain and the great absence that his daughter, granddaughter, and DGS must be feeling. My thoughts and prayers have been on them. You could feel his love, adoration, and devotion to each them with each and every post on this blog.

He had grace and style, which may never be matched....at least not for me.

Chrisner,

SLU is in the final 16. I have to admit that I know a much about basketball as 2Long, but.....I hear its a Cinderella story in of its own. Not unlike yours....

To all my MA & MB friends...I'm sorry for our loss....

To the "Killer B's"....{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

To his family....Godspeed

Not2fun

ps....Thank you LG, for including me in the note.....

pss....Chrisner, thank you for the tears. They were needed


" If you couldn't change your partner when you were together, you sure aren't going to now that you aren't together..." Words of the teacher of the court mandated parenting class...and the ONE thing that stuck out to me!!!
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Not2fun] #286968
03/20/13 05:32 AM
03/20/13 05:32 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
Surface of the sun
silentlucidity Offline
Member
silentlucidity  Offline
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
Surface of the sun
cry


Last edited by silentlucidity; 03/20/13 05:37 AM.
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: silentlucidity] #286995
03/20/13 12:55 PM
03/20/13 12:55 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,444
midwest
Miranda Offline
Global Moderator
Miranda  Offline
Global Moderator
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,444
midwest
Nice one, SL


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Not2fun] #287259
03/21/13 06:47 PM
03/21/13 06:47 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,219
Florida
Gladstone Offline
Board of Directors
Secretary
Gladstone  Offline
Board of Directors
Secretary
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,219
Florida
Originally Posted By: Not2fun
I imagine, that he went in peace. Peace with his past, his present and his future.


You could tell from his final post on MA (right after his daughter's wedding) that he was at peace with everything. I'll never forget reading his last post, which really defined the word "closure". He had come full circle, made peace with his past, was looking forward to his future and had a wonderful circle of family and friends around him.


**Formerly known as Cuthbert Calculus**

"There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots."

Glad Tidings

Gladstone's Sucess Story
Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Gladstone] #292776
04/21/13 09:55 AM
04/21/13 09:55 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,569
New Zealand
Lil Offline

Member
Lil  Offline

Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,569
New Zealand
Chrisner, you have no idea how much I miss your sense of humour. It lept up and surprised me. Doing a little online surfing and found these where you were attempting to write like Nora Roberts

Quote:
Andrea's golden hair spread out like a halo from the serenity of her slightly sleepy face, framing her blissful expression in a nest of saffron locks that irresistably and inevitably drew John's mind back to fond memories involving a few scattered bales of straw the color of her hair covering the bed of the azure datsun pickup truck where they shared their secrets and their bodies for the first time; smiling inwardly at the upwelling of pleasant memory, he reached out and stroked her hair, glad once again that her hair didn't make the sort of crunching sound that straw did when stroked and that her hair didn't break off in little pieces and get uncomfortably stuck in his shorts.


Quote:
Stretching her arms and legs as the sun first peeked in between the drapes that covered her windows, much the same way Herbert had peeked through her blouse the previous night, Melissa reflected (perhaps because of the shiny spot where some of the superglue still hadn't come off) that she liked waking up in the mornings--not so much as, for instance, waking up in the afternoon or even in the evening, but much more than she liked waking up in a dumpster.


AKA Lildoggie

Just found out about your spouses affair?
Infidelity Guide For The Betrayed Spouse


Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: Lil] #292787
04/21/13 02:21 PM
04/21/13 02:21 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 775
S
silverado Offline
Member
silverado  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 775
Thanks, Lil, those gave me a good chuckle this morning.

Re: It's a Wonderful Life [Re: chrisner] #308192
07/27/13 04:42 AM
07/27/13 04:42 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Ace Offline
Advocate
Ace  Offline
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,581
Originally Posted By: chrisner on March 3, 2011
Thanks for checking in everyone.



Oh well how about basketball you ask?

We finished second in league. On the last day of the season we were still in contention to win the league but we needed the 4th place team to knock off the 1st place team and it did not happen. The only 2 league losses the 1st place team had were to us. I mean really. Not one other team could step up and help?

There were lots of nice news articles for the kids to enjoy. It's fun to watch a kid have a Denver Post reporter ask if she has a couple minutes to comment on the game for the very first time. They try to act so cool but they a melting on the inside.

We had a 19-6 overall record and a 13-3 league record. Both are school records. The school opened in 1988 and it took 15-years for the girl's team to have their first a winning record. They averaged 5-wins a year during those years. Through the 1996-1997 seasons, the team was 0-40. They had never hosted a state tournament home game let alone won it. Until now.

There were around 800-900 people in our gym. All the cheerleaders from both schools were there and our spirit band. The student section was packed. Even a couple women from the 96-97 teams came to watch.

It was pandemonium. The kids on the floor could not hear me at all. I had to relay most instructions through Chuck. The student section stormed the floor and mobbed the girl's when the final buzzer sounded. It was first time I saw them in tears all season. They deserved that.

Two nights later we lost in the second round to a very good team in their gym in of all places Mordor Springs. But what a ride it was. I am so very proud of these girls.

So, on Monday we had the league meeting to select All-Conference players, school sportsmanship awards and coach of the year. We did very well.

My post and Chuck both got 1st team selections. Our shooting guard got a high second team selection. Our power forward had an honorable mention. The post player was second in voting for the league MVP. There has never been two from the school selected 1st team in the same season before.

For those who have followed Chuck these past 3-years she was 1st in league in assists, 1st in league in steals, 8th in league in points scored and, amazingly for a point guard, was 25th in rebounds.

The post player was 1st in rebounds, 4th in points, 1st in blocks, 11th in steals and had 10 double-doubles this season. She has several schools looking at her.

Oh, and we got coach of the year too.




I just re-read much of this thread and can't believe we've lost 2 significant men known as "Coach" in less than 6 months. Coach "Chrisner" departed suddenly in Feb. 2013 and now Coach "Karl" in July 2013.

We miss you both. Rest in Peace.

Ace

P.S. I did not realize how influential Chrisner's blog on MA was in facilitating his personal healing, so much to the point that he came full circle and said his final goodbye post in March 2012. This makes me even more grateful for MA and the purpose we are striving to accomplish, exemplified by Chrisner's blog "It's a Wonderful Life." It really was. By March 2013 he was peacefully gone. Thanks for sharing, Coach Chrisner and thanks, MA for providing a place for him to heal before his passing.

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