Could be meeting where it doesn't cost money or require volunteers to monitor and maintain. Just keeping out the spammers can be quite a task.

Peppermint , please say you're joking and that you won't even even think of leaving! Your posts are so helpful. I'm sure I'm not in the minority, thinking that.

ETA: LW, you're right about the spammers. They're like cockroaches.

Yes, Pep. You can continue to hang out...



SFB

Exactly, pep. You are the kind of person who needs to leave. You are am asset.

Well I really don't know what to say to that. Thanks?

Did you leave a word out of this?
Or did I mis read it?

Oops...are NOT THE KIND OF PERSON who should leave. Pep is a wise and valuable BS with good things to contribute.

thanks for that, herf.

HERF,
When I reread what you wrote, i was surprised when I saw the BS. I don't think of myself in that way, nor do I think of my beloved as a WS. I guess I think of us both as survivors, and that is a very good thing. I really like MA and many of the members feel like old or new friends, but maybe it is time to move on for me too. I do want to say that I never think of you in terms of the "W" word, just as a fellow survivor. I hope you will come to see yourself the same way so that the judgements and hurtful comments will have no effect on you. As I told my good friend Marie, I learned that good people sometimes do bad things but they are still good people. You are good people, and I would be proud to have you as a friend IRL.

You've captured what I've been thinking exactly Pep. I frequently forget which "side" of the infidelity thing folks who are recovered/former/whatever and still post here fell on back in the day. I just don't think of it that way. I don't think about myself that way very often either (although I have recently because of a couple of posts.) We are all just folks who have been through some stuff and who have seen some schiz and have some points of view to offer. I have respect for everyone's position because I know everybody fought hard to get where they're at regardless of which side of the field they played on. I know it ain't easy from either side. So I give a lot of kudos to anyone who is willing to stick around and offer advice and a shoulder to cry on for folks still in the trenches.

And that means ANYONE, that's not hyperbole.

I was going to say the same thing, Miranda. Once someone gets past a certain point in the infidelity/marital crisis, there comes a point in personal recovery that I can't tell who used to be a W or a B unless they tell me. I have been stunned over the years at who has revealed that they used to be a W. I've also surprised others who thought that surely I was a W when I was actually a B (pun intended on that one LOL).



For me, it's having points of view to offer while getting a need met for myself at the same time. That need has changed a few times since registering at MA but it all falls under the category of personal recovery.



I think it's very similar from both sides. In my view, except for some details during the time of infidelity, most of the issues are the same.