I have heard from people who go there regularly that they think MB is hard line, and that the BS's plan is almost plan doormat.

The Walk-Away Wife Syndrome
by Michele Weiner-Davis
Did you know that of the over one million marriages that will end in divorce this year, two thirds to three quarters of those divorces will be filed for by women? What is this so-called, "Walk-away Wife" syndrome all about?

In the early years of marriage, women are the relationship caretakers. They carefully monitor their relationships to make sure there is enough closeness and connection. If not, women will do what they can to try to fix things. If their husbands aren't responsive, women become extremely unhappy and start complaining about everything under the sun... things that need to get done around the house, responsibilities pertaining to the children, how free time is spent and so on. Unfortunately, when women complain, men generally retreat and the marriage deteriorates even more.

After years of trying unsuccessfully to improve things, a woman eventually surrenders and convinces herself that change isn't possible. She ends up believing there's absolutely nothing she can do because everything she's tried hasn't worked. That's when she begins to carefully map out the logistics of what she considers to be the inevitable, getting a divorce.

While she's planning her escape, she no longer tries to improve her relationship or modify her husband's behavior in any way. She resigns herself to living in silent desperation until "D Day." Unfortunately, her husband views his wife's silence as an indication that "everything is fine." After all, the "nagging" has ceased. That's why, when she finally breaks the news of the impending divorce, her shell-shocked partner replies, "I had no idea you were unhappy."

Then, even when her husband undergoes real and lasting changes, it's often too late. The same impenetrable wall that for years shielded her from pain, now prevents her from truly recognizing his genuine willingness to change. The relationship is in the danger zone.

If you are a woman who fits this description, please don't give up. I have seen so many men make amazing changes once they truly understand how unhappy their wives have been. Sometimes men are slow to catch on, but when they do, their determination to turn things around can be astounding. I have seen many couples strengthen their marriages successfully even though it seemed an impossible feat. Give your husband another chance. Let him prove to you that things can be different. Keep your family together. Divorce is not a simple answer. It causes unimaginable pain and suffering. It takes an enormous amount of energy to face each day. Why not take this energy and learn some new skills and make your marriage what you've wanted it to be for so long?

If you're a man reading this and your wife has been complaining or nagging, thank her. It means she still cares about you and your marriage. She's working hard to make your love stronger. Spend time with her. Talk to her. Compliment her. Pay attention. Take her seriously. Show her that she's the most important thing in the world to you.

Perhaps your wife is no longer open to your advances because she's a soon-to-be walk-away wife. If so, don't crowd her. Don't push. Be patient. If you demonstrate you can change and she still has eyes... and a heart, you might just convince her to give your marriage another try.


Is your marriage on the rocks? Don't panic.
Even if your spouse says that your marriage is over, there's much that you can do to turn things around. Here are a few immediate suggestions.

Take a deep breath.
We know this is the most difficult time in your life, but we are going to help you come up with a plan to save your marriage and feel better right away.

Stop pressuring your spouse to work on your marriage.
It's natural to try to persuade your spouse to stop being so pessimistic about your marriage and to commit to working things out. However, you've probably noticed that the more you've tried to convince your spouse that your marriage is worth saving, the more your efforts have backfired. So, the first thing you need to do is to stop lecturing, pleading, crying, or pressuring, sending flowers, cards or heart-felt letters. You're actually pushing your spouse out the door!

Know there's a more productive way to get through to your spouse.
People who are successful in life, don't work harder, they work smarter. It's not that you haven't been trying hard enough; it's just that you haven't been doing the right things to get through to your spouse. Your Divorce Busting Coach will help you figure out exactly what you need to do or say differently to get things back on track. Plus, Divorce Busting coaching is for you. You don't need to ask your spouse to speak to your coach. By changing your approach, you will learn how to improve your relationship without his/her participation.

Divorce Busting coaching is for you if:
Your marriage is in trouble and you want to feel closer to your spouse.
You are on the brink of divorce, or even in the midst of divorce proceedings.
You and your spouse live under one roof but are emotionally disconnected.
You're currently separated and may have little contact with your spouse.
There has been infidelity and/or an emotional affair.
You frequently have the same old arguments about sex, money, communication styles, parenting, step-families, extended family, friends, how free time is spent, religion, and so on.

Every day that passes with hurt and anger is another wasted day of your life. Take the energy you've been wasting feeling hurt, devastated and dead inside and start fighting for your marriage today!

I did hear that awhile back MWD had some issues with her forum....with some members getting too much power and thinking they ran the forum. I don't know the particulars or how it turned out, but the guy who told me has worked with her.

As far as being a doormat goes, I remember very well a letter Michelle Weiner-Davis had posted prominently on her website about how one man saved his marriage - and the way he did it was by being a friend to his wife as she carried out an affair with another man. This husband dropped all expectations and decided to concentrate on being her friend, helped her move out, helped her put up curtains, etc, and became a safe, non-demanding person for her to be around. She started finding excuses to spend time talking with him and eventually her "boyfriend" forbade her from talking to her husband - which, of course, was not well received by the wayward wife. Eventually, the affair broke up and she returned to her husband.

That was far beyond the ideas of Plan A and Plan B, and I think many men would not be willing to do that (or able to, even if they were willing to try). And I'm not sure it would work with all wayward wives, either. But it worked for the man who wrote the letter, and that stuck in my mind after I read it.

The story above you summarized perfectly.

The problem is

a. This is hardly the norm
b. As said most people won't have the strength for that kind of abuse
c. You risk much, for only a small chance it will help
d. She doesn't have a backup plan -- plan doormat is her only strategy
e. If your spouse is at all sociopathic, this strategy is incredibly dangerous

While this story may work sometimes, it won't happen often. Because of the degree of risk I don't recommend it.

But if you advocate any kind of Plan B on the forum you get driven off the forum. There is no alternative strategy.

Mythical, Magical MLC

Actually, it's the "MLC at any age" is recent printings. LOL.

So if your spouse is 23, it could apply

Comes up as usual for me...