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Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: herfuturesbright] #121933
06/16/11 03:56 AM
06/16/11 03:56 AM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,266
Iowa
BBJTeachRun Offline OP
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BBJTeachRun  Offline OP
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Iowa
I had a looong day...my son had basketball camp today. Took my daughter for mommy-daughter pedicures while he was shooting hoops. My prize for myself for finishing 9 days of Insanity Workouts. smile

Then he had a baseball game tonight. My ex helps coach so we are both at all of the games and most of the practices. Tonight he tossed me his keys and asked if I would go get his mat out of his car (he uses a gardening mat for his knee when he pitches bc he kneels and had knee surgery last year). Anyway second time in two weeks he's asked me to get something out of his car. Both times I chose not to snoop at anything and just got what I needed and locked it back up. Finally lost the desire to 'know' any of that stuff...

Anyway my son was 3-3 with a double and made a couple good defensive plays. So proud! And my D made up cheerleading dances on the sidelines. smile

Right after that went to work the Coffee House for the Teen Serve group that's in town. 300 kids from High School youth groups here all week to fix up houses of needy people, free. All in all a fun day but none of the venues were places where I would meet anybody...oh well. All in good time.


Me: 36

ex: 37

Together 18 years, married 12.5

Kids: S 9, D 5

Divorced: Feb 2010

Moving on and embracing my future!
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: BBJTeachRun] #122011
06/16/11 03:13 PM
06/16/11 03:13 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
B
believer Offline
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B
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I'm proud of you, BBJ. Sounds like you are working on yourself, being a great mom, and helping out in your community. I'm certain you will run into your match one of these days.

In the meantime, you're a great example to your kids.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122040
06/16/11 04:03 PM
06/16/11 04:03 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 905
S
SoL Offline
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Hello everybody. I'm in the field doing Army training and got some internet for a moment.

It's been kind of nice NOT being connected to the world for a little while. Been thinking about my dating life a bit. I had a dream the other night about that first girl I was talking to. Met my other friend the night before I left and we had a good time. I'm thinking that I'm not really cut out for a FWB type situation. That is sort of what we have right now, but I know she wants more and I'm just not that motivated for more with her. I have been completely up front with her, yet I still feel a bit guilty as if I am using her.

I don't think it's fair to her, even though I have been completely honest with ther that I do not want an exclusive, committed relationship and that I was still active on Match and OKC. She is a nice person and we enjoy each other's company, but there are still no sparks. I enjoy what we have, but I just don't feel right about things knowing that she would like more and I do not.

Maybe I'm crazy.

Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: SoL] #122043
06/16/11 04:13 PM
06/16/11 04:13 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
B
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B
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You're not crazy, SoL, you're a good guy.

I think a FWB relationship would be very hard to pull off. Sooner or later, one person is going to get hurt. But glad you have been honest with her.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122044
06/16/11 04:16 PM
06/16/11 04:16 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 905
S
SoL Offline
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SoL  Offline
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S
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Exactly B. And I don't want to hurt her becuase I do like her, just not enough to have a LTR with her.


Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: SoL] #122045
06/16/11 04:16 PM
06/16/11 04:16 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
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pookie69 Offline
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Tell her to slow down.

Let that be her choice. Don't feel guilty about it.


"A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving." - Ayn Rand
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: pookie69] #122055
06/16/11 05:37 PM
06/16/11 05:37 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 17,282
The Castle Aaaggghh...
herfuturesbright Offline
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herfuturesbright  Offline
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The Castle Aaaggghh...

Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: herfuturesbright] #122092
06/16/11 02:39 PM
06/16/11 02:39 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
B
believer Offline
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B
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Posts: 20,616
The Romanian deactivated his OKC account. When I asked him why, he sent this -

"Because I met you, darling!! My long search of 6 months is over.

Just kidding!

I want to focus on work and OKC is just too distracting. And I'm happy going out with you."


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122094
06/16/11 07:40 PM
06/16/11 07:40 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,274
V
Violin Offline
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Violin  Offline
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V
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He loves you! When is the wedding?


Me: 36
D9 and D3
Divorce final july 2010
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: Violin] #122100
06/16/11 07:54 PM
06/16/11 07:54 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
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B
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B
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Well, V, he got through the fair with 2 little girls yesterday. And you know how that goes. He spent about $50. trying to win them a $5.00 stuffed animal.

The spilled drinks/have to go to the bathroom interruptions didn't seem to bother him. It was a nice day. We petted all the animals, did the rides, ate all the junk food, and listened to music.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122102
06/16/11 08:02 PM
06/16/11 08:02 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 17,282
The Castle Aaaggghh...
herfuturesbright Offline
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The Castle Aaaggghh...
uh oh b......yer in trouble....

smart, sweet, good with kids.....if he likes puppies and makes you think you better tag him or run

Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: herfuturesbright] #122109
06/16/11 08:14 PM
06/16/11 08:14 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
B
believer Offline
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B
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Posts: 20,616
We'll see, HRF. I think he may end up in the friend zone. He made a comment about a comment I made on a journal on OKC. I told him if it bothered him, don't read my comments.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122111
06/16/11 08:16 PM
06/16/11 08:16 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 17,282
The Castle Aaaggghh...
herfuturesbright Offline
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herfuturesbright  Offline
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The Castle Aaaggghh...
yikes, b! Although there is something to be said for a good argument..... smile

People who say they never ever argue.....I guess I wonder if that means they just don't feel enough.....That is kinda twisted, I know. Maybe one too many Nora Roberts novels - hahahahaha

Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122112
06/16/11 08:19 PM
06/16/11 08:19 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,913
pookie69 Offline
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pookie69  Offline
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Set your boundaries early. You are who you are.


"A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving." - Ayn Rand
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: pookie69] #122114
06/16/11 08:26 PM
06/16/11 08:26 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
B
believer Offline
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B
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
It was completely silly.

I finally got beat in chess by a gay guy in the Bronx. He posted in his journal asking for comments on his profile. For a joke, I commented that I would hit it.

So that is what made the Romanian say something. And then when I explained about the chess, he was annoyed that I haven't played with him yet.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122116
06/16/11 08:31 PM
06/16/11 08:31 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,274
V
Violin Offline
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Violin  Offline
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V
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,274
Sounds like a good guy!


Me: 36
D9 and D3
Divorce final july 2010
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122118
06/16/11 08:32 PM
06/16/11 08:32 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 17,282
The Castle Aaaggghh...
herfuturesbright Offline
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herfuturesbright  Offline
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Posts: 17,282
The Castle Aaaggghh...
okay....no whining allowed. For him, I mean.

And jealousy in any form is unattractive, but especially when there is no "commitment" in place and you're just bantering and stuff anyway.

Boy, I really sound like I know what I'm talking about.....I think I'll apply for a soccer coach position next.....

Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: herfuturesbright] #122123
06/16/11 08:39 PM
06/16/11 08:39 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,913
pookie69 Offline
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pookie69  Offline
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Getting annoyed over something like that is unattractive.

I would have smiled and said: "Want to see my Rookie move?"



"A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving." - Ayn Rand
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: herfuturesbright] #122124
06/16/11 08:39 PM
06/16/11 08:39 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,274
V
Violin Offline
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Violin  Offline
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V
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,274
He can have his opinion and she can have hers...


Me: 36
D9 and D3
Divorce final july 2010
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: CajunRose] #122125
06/16/11 08:47 PM
06/16/11 08:47 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,821
flowmom Offline
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flowmom  Offline
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Originally Posted By: CajunRose
And what the heck goes in the headline?
Here's some stuff on headlines:
http://geeksdreamgirl.com/tag/headlines/

I HIGHLY recommend that you log in as a man (use a separate email address) and search for women in your location and age category. Pretend you're a guy looking for a date and look at a zillion photo/username/headline combos and click on profiles that look interesting. You'll quickly hone your cliche-o-meter. Then DON'T do what everyone else is doing. Just being different will attract attention to you.

My headline was a quotation. Not very original, but it's very "me":

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." - Dorothy Parker

I went on two site - in the second one there wasn't much room so I just did the first sentence.

I'm pretty sure that that my headline did get some men to click.

Username: also super important. Surprising how little effort many put into that...probably because it's one of the first things that people pick and not easy to change/edit in some cases I guess.

Thinking more about your profile...I think that Dan said it really well. Your profile is interesting and would attract some men, but is missing some of what we think is awesome about you smile. It's really hard to nail it though, and really the purpose of the profile is to attract your kind of guy enough that he initiates communication. He'll quickly learn about you from there because you communicate really well.


we: me44 + my husband Pookie :9: + S9 + D6
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122133
06/16/11 09:01 PM
06/16/11 09:01 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,821
flowmom Offline
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flowmom  Offline
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Originally Posted By: believer
The Romanian deactivated his OKC account. When I asked him why, he sent this -

"Because I met you, darling!! My long search of 6 months is over.

Just kidding!

I want to focus on work and OKC is just too distracting. And I'm happy going out with you."
Um. I really don't like how he worded that. It sounds like he's making a point of telling you where you stand on his personal list of priorities .

SoL, few people are cut out for FWB sitches. Most of us like some attachment along with the other stuff. If it doesn't feel right...there's your answer.


we: me44 + my husband Pookie :9: + S9 + D6
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: flowmom] #122136
06/16/11 09:20 PM
06/16/11 09:20 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
B
believer Offline
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B
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
Right. I get that, Flowmom. I come right behind his work in his priorities. It's been that way from the beginning.



"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: believer] #122138
06/16/11 09:25 PM
06/16/11 09:25 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,821
flowmom Offline
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flowmom  Offline
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B, I think that dating comes after work for most people, but tacky to make jokes about you NOT being "the One" IMO.


we: me44 + my husband Pookie :9: + S9 + D6
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: herfuturesbright] #122142
06/16/11 09:47 PM
06/16/11 09:47 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,593
WI
Danf Offline
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Danf  Offline
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Originally Posted By: heremainsfaithful
yikes, b! Although there is something to be said for a good argument..... smile

People who say they never ever argue.....I guess I wonder if that means they just don't feel enough.....That is kinda twisted, I know. Maybe one too many Nora Roberts novels - hahahahaha


X and I NEVER argued about anything. I'm guessing that was part of the problem. She held it all in and then just blew-up one day.

I think that makes it harder for me because I read about all of these people who fought a lot, did the silent treatment, slept on the couch, got kicked out of the house and then made-up. NONE of that ever happened with us. That is why I just don't get it. It would be easier if we had been fighting or something and were really angry with each other. Sure, I might be a little annoyed, but I bit my tongue and let it roll off my back for the most part.

Then she says stuff like she'd like to hang out, be friends, blah, blah, blah. It's just stupid.


Me45 - S13, D11
Disconnected 7/1/12

I'm a brand new sky to hang the stars upon tonight......
Re: My Online Dating Experience...others please chime in! [Re: Danf] #122145
06/16/11 10:02 PM
06/16/11 10:02 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
B
believer Offline
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B
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Dan -

I don't think it is necessarily a good sign when couples don't argue. My ex and I very seldom had an argument. Maybe that's why I can be such a B now. I'm not going to make that mistake again.

You could still try a grand gesture.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
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