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Spying 201 #11172
10/16/10 06:10 PM
10/16/10 06:10 PM
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Larry Offline OP
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I invite all who would participate in this chore, to put their oars in the water and make a contribution. Sure, I will have my own contribution. In my haste to get this started, I decided to hold my thoughts till later on if the thread can get rolling nicely.

Cut and past and reword or provide your original concepts as the case may be.

Larry

Last edited by Larry; 10/16/10 09:12 PM.

It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Larry] #11267
10/17/10 02:00 AM
10/17/10 02:00 AM
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Larry Offline OP
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Okay, leave us get started on this one. The purpose of the construction zone is to aid in the formation of articles and stickys that can be used in certain forums to provide information on whatever subject.

This thread is open for anything associated with spying, including how to spy and the reason for spying; tell tale justifications for spying. Whatever other reasons anyone can come up with.

Larry

Last edited by Larry; 10/17/10 02:06 AM.

It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Larry] #11269
10/17/10 02:09 AM
10/17/10 02:09 AM
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Larry Offline OP
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Why spy?

Wife gets suspicious (or husband) that their spouse is having an affair. It is seldom useful to confront spouse with the suspicions for a couple of reasons; confrontations are not a good idea, especially if spouse is innocent and two, if they are guilty, you think they are gonna roll over, confess all and shot themselves?

Some telling stuff:

1. All of a sudden, wife or husband starts paying more attention to how they dress and groom. Number one give away.

2. Calls that hang up in the night when you answer.

3. Call and text records disappear from spouse's cell phone.

4. Sudden extra hours at the office.

5. Long walks by themselves in the night - or whenever.

6. Taking their cell phone with them into the bathroom.

Hey, I am no expert on this, help me out, what are the signs?

Larry

Last edited by Larry; 10/17/10 02:11 AM. Reason: spelling

It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Larry] #11296
10/17/10 05:04 AM
10/17/10 05:04 AM
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Larry Offline OP
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So how do you spy? That breaks down by category:

1. Computer. Number one place. Key logger is the number one tool. Everything typed is logged. Problem is that spyware and anti-hijacking software can sometimes spot key loggers. It is a game between key logger programmers and spyware programmers. Key loggers also know which web sites, like facebook, myspace, etc., is visited even if the cache is cleared. $ to $$

2. Email - problem here is the password. Second problem is that email will log a message that has been read, so you can't read one until he/she has read it. Company mail is always a problem. Some key loggers have screen shot capability. THAT is effective when you can't figure out the password. A key logger that also takes screen shots will help ID secret emails. $ to $$

Anyone want to do a key logger evaluation?

3. Cell phones. Here are some things that can be done with a cell phone: $ to $$$

Call Interception Listen to the actual calls LIVE on the target cell phone

Environment Listening - Make a spy call to the target cell phone running SPY PHONE and listen in to the phone's surroundings.

SMS Logging Records both incoming & outgoing SMS

SIM Change Notification Get instant notification via SMS when the target cell phone changes it's SIM

Remote Control Send secret SMS to the target phone to control all functions

Spy from any location across the world

100% Undetectable - I seriously doubt this one.

Only works on some phones. There is a ton of different software out there. Give your spouse a new phone as a present and have the software preloaded *grin*

Can get really, really pricy.

4. Home phone. Any radio shack can sell you what you need to record phone calls from your land line home phone. $ to $$

5. Recorders - voice activated. One in every car. $ to $$

6. GPS trackers - one on the car. See where they are going. Parked at the no tell motel for a few hours is a real good hint. $$ to $$$

7. Spy Shops with spy gear including GPS trackers and more. There are dozens online. url=http://www.spyshops.com/]Here is one.[/url} $$$ to $$$$$

8. Private Detective agencies: Dozens and dozens. Can do the job, to include finding people who do not want to be found. $$$$$

9. There is another category, what am I missing.

Larry



It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Larry] #11330
10/17/10 01:45 PM
10/17/10 01:45 PM
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star*fish Offline
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Larry,

I'm already doing a guide on "if you think your spouse might be cheating". It's about "signs", not spy strategies, so I'll link your spy guide once I get finished.


"Yes, I'll have the love combo, open faced with a side of respect and large a glass of forgiveness, easy on the ice please--my brother
Re: Spying 201 [Re: star*fish] #11334
10/17/10 02:08 PM
10/17/10 02:08 PM
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Larry Offline OP
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Ok, then I will go back and ignore what I posted on signs when the guide advances to that stage and link your deal.



It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Larry] #11335
10/17/10 02:12 PM
10/17/10 02:12 PM
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Hi Larry: I'll be happy to contribute some brief thoughts/opinions.

1. Keyloggers: Without a doubt, Eblaster is the best. The problem is that it can't be used on some older computers, particularly Macs.

2. Phones: If it's a smart phone, Flexispy is good, but it's spendy. Some cell phone carriers, such as Sprint, do not use SIM cards, so a SIM card reader is not an option there.

Assuming you can get to the spouse's computer, some technical but easy-to-follow steps to obtain browser history would be useful. I'm not very tech savvy. I can do some cursory checks, but each browser is different. Also, I believe the logs go somewhere, even after they are deleted, but have no idea how to access. Maybe someone can chime in here. Same with deleted files and emails. Web based email...I think you are out of luck. But if the person is using an email client, such as Outlook or AppleMail, I think you can still access the emails that have been deleted. Once again, I'm not sure how. When H was involved in his EA, I accidentally stumbled on some pictures and files that he had thought he deleted, but following some instructions I had Googled, I was able to find.

Last edited by OurHouse; 10/17/10 02:15 PM. Reason: add stuff
Re: Spying 201 [Re: OurHouse] #11345
10/17/10 03:12 PM
10/17/10 03:12 PM
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I know that all the technology brings spying up to a whole 'nuther level, but I would like to see some old-school ideas, too. Depending on the age of the WS, they may not use technology extensively. Plus, you can't hide a tangible gift in your computer or cell phone.

After living through infidelity and also hearing people talk about it for years online, I have these suggestions:

Look for things in plain sight. My ex hid gifts from the OW(s) inside cowboy boots in his clothes closet (he didn't wear them often and they just sat there looking totally normal and innocent).

He also used the wheel well of his spare tire, under the carpet in the trunk. The only reason ANYone would think to look there is by accident. I needed something in the trunk and happened upon a treasure trove. Ingenious.

Here are more places to check:

Behind photos in frames, under the cardboard.

Inside board games you never play.

The rafters in the garage.

Tool boxes/chests/sewing kits that only one of you use.

Sheds or storage units.

Suitcases, purses, old bags of any kind, including shopping bags and beach bags.

As I think of more, I'll add them. Tell me if you think this is a good idea.



A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. --Andre Maurois

Re: Spying 201 [Re: wiser_now] #11368
10/17/10 04:36 PM
10/17/10 04:36 PM
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Larry Offline OP
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Terrific NB - those over forty cheat just as much, if not more.


It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Larry] #11390
10/17/10 05:52 PM
10/17/10 05:52 PM
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star*fish Offline
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Larry,

One way to find out your husband/wife is cheating is to "follow the money". Money leaves a paper trail. Here's a great article to help you put that thought together:

http://www.sideroad.com/Marriage/sign_of_infidelity.html

Last edited by star*fish; 10/17/10 06:06 PM. Reason: gender equality :)

"Yes, I'll have the love combo, open faced with a side of respect and large a glass of forgiveness, easy on the ice please--my brother
Re: Spying 201 [Re: star*fish] #11400
10/17/10 06:36 PM
10/17/10 06:36 PM
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Chrysalis Offline
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Coat Pockets.


Chrysalis
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Chrysalis] #11401
10/17/10 06:41 PM
10/17/10 06:41 PM
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I have not read the thread yet, but wanted to post that the surreptitious recording of conversations is, in many states, a felony. Please be careful.

There are some states that allow 1 party consent. Most are 2 party consent.




Don't go shaking the [Bleep!] tree and expect an angel to fall out.

Liars lie and cheaters cheat...know it and don't be surprised. Protect yourself.

Re: Spying 201 [Re: Medc] #11407
10/17/10 07:12 PM
10/17/10 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Chrysalis
Coat Pockets.


... and to continue adding to my earlier thoughts and this one:

Under the mattress - it's not just teenagers that do this!

Inside the box spring, where mesh can be cut without noticing much.

The back of drawers - NOT the inside - taped on the outside while the drawer is entirely pulled out, then pushed back in.

Basement, attic, under the house (crawl space), vents, high cupboards that you normally don't use or only use for storage.


A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. --Andre Maurois

Re: Spying 201 [Re: wiser_now] #11506
10/18/10 03:33 AM
10/18/10 03:33 AM
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Larry Offline OP
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Here is a post I did elsewhere

I have started a thread called Spying 201. In the case of a cellphone, it is relatively easy to install a program that reveals just about anything you want to know, conversations, emails, locations, half a dozen different items. Your cell phone provider may or may not be able to detect such a spy program.

An absolute defense is to get a new phone, one that is not on the list of phones which can be bugged.

Any respectable spy shop sells dozens of items that can be used for spying. Any online PI can find an address, phone number, place of employment, prior marriages and a host of other details - the subscribe to pay sites where such information is gathered and sold.

I know of at least one divorce case where information from an affair forum was used in court - gathered through screen shots by those who lurk. We have a safe place here for just those situations - one of the reasons for the creation. And we can, like another site I am familiar with, create one that is even safer.

This site is less well known than others. If you are posting on more than one forum, I would look somewhere else than here, UNLESS, you have a key logger on your home computer, which is more likely than not.

Key loggers are notoriously difficult to detect. What I recommend is that if you think one is on your computer, you take it to a reputable shop and issue the following instructions: see if you can find a key logger. Yes or no, do a recovery to a previous date - say a year ago or some time that predates the affair. OR, scrub it and reinstall windows. If you can do those things yourself or have a really trusted friend do it, then do it.

After your you know your computer is safe, change the passwords on all of your accounts, including email accounts. Pick a string that is easy to remember but nearly impossible to break.

Here is an example - please don't use it except as a template.

m5a6r7y - See how hard that would be to break, but easy to remember?


It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Larry] #11507
10/18/10 03:35 AM
10/18/10 03:35 AM
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Larry Offline OP
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I am going to give this thread another 24 hours to exist, then I am going to write it up. Please help with suggestions and knowledge as much as you can please.

Larry


It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Larry] #11509
10/18/10 03:43 AM
10/18/10 03:43 AM
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http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/...n/discover-the-truth/catch-cheating.html

Larry....my best advice would be to peruse the plethora of articles on this subject around the web. There's some great stuff out there. And don't rush it. Give people time to weigh in...especially during the week while we have the most traffic.


"Yes, I'll have the love combo, open faced with a side of respect and large a glass of forgiveness, easy on the ice please--my brother
Re: Spying 201 [Re: star*fish] #11512
10/18/10 03:55 AM
10/18/10 03:55 AM
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Larry Offline OP
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Says the lady who one day decided to write Star's guide. Great job by the way. grin

There is lots to add, I just wanted other people to contribute. Heck I don't necessarily know all of it. And yes, I have read half a dozen sites.

We can talk about credit card statements, cell phone bills either hard copy or on the web, telephone bills, frequently called numbers you don't know about.

Most of spying is a bit technical, but it doesn't have to be as witness the contributions to date. So there are sections to be written on both.

And I have started the idea in my head that part of the guide to detect spying might be a good idea too.

Ok, I will wait a week.

Larry


It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Larry] #11679
10/18/10 05:27 PM
10/18/10 05:27 PM
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I think that the REASONS for spying might need to be addressed. Yeah, we suspect that our spouse is having an affair. I get that part. What I am referring to is the part about, "Why bother to spy?"

Some possible reasons might be:

1) To verify that an affair is really taking place.

2) To verify or identify the affair partner.

3) To determine how far the affair has progressed and to try to figure out if it was just a "mistake in judgment" or if it is a romantic affair which can be very addictive.

4) To ensure that contact has ended if the wayward spouse claims that it has.

5) To gather information that can be used against the affair or that might be deemed usable in the case of divorce.

6)... ???? (add other as you think of them.

In the worlds of international espionage, politics and big business, spying is used to gain an advantage over one's opponent. Even in sports, spying takes on significance for those wishing to determine what the opposition is doing so that a strategy can be implemented to counter act it. And of course, in the world of undercover investigations either for law enforcement or by the media to bring to light some misdeed by a person or group of persons spying has become an art form with undercover operatives, high tech methods of gathering information and even whole lives for the operatives being created to mask the real objectives of the investigation.

But I think that before spying is begun, it needs to have a clear reason for taking place. The activity itself can meet a need for some and is sometimes used as a way to control a spouse. It can also be used to thwart attempts to uncover the truth about your own life by those who have something to hide. If it is to be used as leverage to do anything beyond saving the marriage or finding out the truth, I would think long and hard before embarking on a spying program of any sort.

In this age of technology, a lot of simple methods can be used to determine various things without resorting to a key-logger or other spying software and hardware. The Internet is a vast source of information for those who can learn to use it to their advantage.

Cell phone records are available on-line for those who are the primary account holder for a cellular account. While specific SMS and call content cannot be determined from the records available, call duration, volume and numbers called can be easily looked up on line if you have access to the on-line tools available with nearly every post-paid cellular account. This can indicate a pattern more than it can give specifics of what is being discussed, but if over half the phone calls and SMS on an account are to one or two numbers that you have no knowledge of who they belong to, it does show a clear pattern.

Even land-line phone records might be available to you, even if you aren't the primary account holder if you have access to the account. On Comcast, for example, there is a tool that allows you to see the incoming, outgoing and missed calls on the account similar to the logs built into cell phones. This is available on-line and can be a great starting point. Once a number is found, finding out who the number belongs to is the next step and again, the Internet can be the place to begin.

If you have never done this simple thing, give it a try. Go to Google and type your phone number with Area Code and exchange separated by dashes into the search bar. (XXX-XXX-XXXX) Unless your number is a true unlisted number, you might be surprised by what you can find. Even if it is just a name and address, you already have one key piece of information. Cell phone numbers are not directly available this way, so if it is a cell phone number, another step can sometimes lead you to the same information.

Even if it is a work number, knowing where the person works can be to your advantage. If your spouse is having an affair with someone with whom he or she works, this can be difficult to sort out from phone records, but if the person works somewhere else, it can help you find out who that person is. If 200 calls per month are made to an out of state business that has nothing to do with anything you know your spouse might be involved in, chances are good that if other signs of infidelity are present, this could be the work place of the affair partner.

If the number is a cell phone or if Google and other free sources turn up nothing,, sites such as Intellius and others can get access to a lot of information unless the person has opted out of being listed anywhere. While this method is not fool proof, it can at times lead you to a name and once you have that name, sites that do background checks for a minimal fee can be used to find out a whole host of information.

Court records can also be a source of information that can tell you if a person has been married, divorced, who their nearest living relatives are and even how many children they might have. Even free sources can sometimes point you to those who are related by birth or by marriage.

A cheap source of information can be a Voice Activated Recorder. Once large and cumbersome and in the domain of only highly sophisticated operators, these can now be had from Radio Shack, Walmart, Best Buys and a plethora of on-line sources. If money is no object, two or three can be had cheaply enough to allow them to be interchanged in various locations and continue spying while one is being reviewed and the batteries changed out. The car is a good place to hide one as is any place a telephone might be used. While you will typically only hear one side of a conversation, unless the affair partner is in the car or in the home with your cheating spouse, it again can give you a load of usable information that might be of benefit in determining just how far an affair has gone.

Hiding one of these devices in the car can be tricky for those who have little knowledge of automobiles, but if the device has a separate microphone, the mic can be concealed behind AC vents or in the gap between the steering column and the instrument panel or above the visor on the passenger side of the vehicle. The cord can be easily tucked behind the panels of the car with no or only simple tools like a small screw driver and the VAR itself attached under the dashboard using Velcro or double sided tape. (Use the foam carpet tape for this as you don't want it to fall onto the floor while your spouse is driving along on the way to work.) Since most of these units use media cards, a second card can be swapped with the original and the batteries changed with the unit in place if it is accessible enough. Planning is the key to this, so consider your options carefully.

The simplest place to put a VAR in an automobile is under the seat. It still needs to be attached somehow so as to prevent it from rattling around, but in some vehicles a lot of road noise will be the primary thing picked up. Radio and music will also trigger these things so be ready to listen to a lot of useless information.

Another place to hide one is under the bed in the master bedroom, but also consider placing one in the guest bedroom if you have one since often a wayward spouse will have some sort of twisted idea that as long as they don't have sex in the marital bed itself, they aren't really crossing some arbitrary line they feel is too far.

A Nanny Cam or security or web camera can also be used in the home and since many of these are easily concealed, they can be used pretty easily. These can usually be accessed through a secure site by logging in and viewing what is going on at home while traveling or while at work. Many can also be hooked up to a digital video recorder or be recorded using DVR software on a computer. Review the recordings often so that the hard drive doesn't fill up too quickly. Ideally a separate PC or DVR should be used that can be concealed or that the spouse doesn't normally have access to so that the possibility of accidental discovery can be limited.

A trusted friend or neighbor can also be a good choice for gathering intelligence. While the fear that letting others know of our suspicions can cause you to avoid recruiting them to help, as long as the person is a trusted friend, not the prime suspect in the affair and willing to help monitor what is going on at your home while you are away, they could be recruited to assist in the investigation. If the same car appears every day at 2:40 pm and leaves ten minutes before you are due to arrive home from work, that clear pattern can be readily apparent.

Quite often someone besides you already has suspicions of an affair and if you can find this person, they might be willing to tell you what they already know, which alone might not be enough to base a decision on but when put together with other bits and pieces might be the key to unlocking the entire thing. Many are loath to get involved in the personal life of neighbors or people they might be friends with, but if asked if they have seen or heard anything suspicious, they could become the source of that key piece you have been looking for.

Whatever the source you use to find out and verify that your spouse is cheating, act upon that information or the effort will be a waste of time. Sitting by and doing nothing will only make the affair become more entrenched and lessen the likelihood of bringing it to a swift end. The sooner you know what to do when an affair has been confirmed and begin doing those specific things will help you to fight the affair and save your marriage. You don't need court admissible proof to confront a cheater and even in light of overwhelming proof, few will rarely admit to having an affair. You don't have to convince the cheater they are cheating; they already know that. You only have to convince him or her that YOU know about the affair.

Once you have the information, and in the face of the affair continuing without remorse, continuing to spy will likely leave you feeling helpless and cause untold emotional damage that can make recovery difficult or impossible. You don't need to know every time your cheating spouse says "ILY" to the affair partner. Gathering and logging this kind of information will only make you nuts. If they claim the affair is over, however, continuing to spy can verify that no contact has been established and prevent you from discovering too late that the affair has simply gone underground.

Just a few thoughts and ideas...

Mark


mark1952.ma@gmail.com

I Was Thinking...

The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.-- Frank Pittman
Re: Spying 201 [Re: wiser_now] #11884
10/19/10 01:18 AM
10/19/10 01:18 AM
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Vittoria Offline
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Originally Posted by new_beginning
Originally Posted by Chrysalis
Coat Pockets.


... and to continue adding to my earlier thoughts and this one:

Under the mattress - it's not just teenagers that do this!

Inside the box spring, where mesh can be cut without noticing much.

The back of drawers - NOT the inside - taped on the outside while the drawer is entirely pulled out, then pushed back in.

Basement, attic, under the house (crawl space), vents, high cupboards that you normally don't use or only use for storage.

I found lots of letters and cards in the rafters. I missed the ones that were hidden in work files in the cabinet.

I also found OW's address, phone numbers (home, cell and work) directions to her apt., in H's desk.
They were NOT hidden away, his desk was simply not something that I would ever frequent.

Sometimes things are not hidden. Don't forget the obvious, is my point. Waywards can be thoughtless.


26 yrs. married
There's nothing more powerful than a woman with an open heart ......
Re: Spying 201 [Re: Vittoria] #11932
10/19/10 05:41 AM
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Funny you should mention your H's work files, Vitt. Made me remember that I found OW's phone numbers (home and cell) in my H's briefcase.

I am so grateful that it's all starting to feel like a bad dream. Yeah, I know it was real, but he's been so darned O&H for so long, it gives that time an air of unreality. Thank God.

Re: Spying 201 [Re: right here waiting] #12112
10/19/10 11:01 PM
10/19/10 11:01 PM
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there must be some program to get Yahoomail, Gmail passwords somewhere.

Also a way to see private Facebook accounts

Re: Spying 201 [Re: NYGfan] #12116
10/19/10 11:17 PM
10/19/10 11:17 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,027
O
OurHouse Offline
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OurHouse  Offline
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I used a keylogger, intruder.


Re: Spying 201 [Re: OurHouse] #12179
10/20/10 04:59 AM
10/20/10 04:59 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,381
Texas
Larry Offline OP
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Larry  Offline OP
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Anyone ever tried to get rid of a keylogger?

I have heard that it is easy to do by restoring to a previous date where the key logger was likely not installed.

Any comments?


It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
Re: Spying 201 [Re: star*fish] #12184
10/20/10 05:07 AM
10/20/10 05:07 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 12,611
The Dark Side of the Moon
AntigoneRisen Offline
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AntigoneRisen  Offline
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The Dark Side of the Moon
Quote
So how do you spy? That breaks down by category:

1. Computer.


I'd add google to this list. If someone has a google account, their search history is saved on the google server, even if their local cache and history is cleared.

Phone records can be obtained from the phone service provider. Cell phone call and received call records, in particular, are detailed and listed.

Last edited by AntigoneRisen; 10/20/10 05:08 AM.

Critical Thinking: The Other National Deficit

"That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." - Christopher Hitchens
Re: Spying 201 [Re: AntigoneRisen] #12322
10/20/10 05:46 PM
10/20/10 05:46 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,381
Texas
Larry Offline OP
Member
Larry  Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,381
Texas

To mention a delicate subject, here is a link to something obvious if you think about it:

Body Fluid Detection

That particular site has other spying technology for sale, including DNA tests. The prices seem about average or slightly lower than some.

Larry


It's often the truth we hide from ourselves that causes the most damage in life.

My old email address no longer works.
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