I don’t think LGs husband has the self awareness to know that he did not have the integrity to either divorce or forgive. I think LG sees it clearly although I do think, LG that you are minimizing your affair.....you don’t need to minimize it. You did it, it was wrong, BUT you also stopped it and it is over and your husband has never got to that place.
I'll be the absolute first person to assert that her husband is clearly disordered. But just like the wife abuser and the beaten wife, it's not just the man being disordered. A more functional adult doesn't put up with continual abuse, they leave.
The lack of self awareness isn't limited to her husband. The time she smashed her husband's wine glasses was supposed to come off as empowering, but it actually came off as unhinged. I've had many relationships and not a single woman has smashed anything of mine in anger. When pressed she revealed she was drunk. You are obviously getting whitewashed versions of the story.
Originally Posted by SmilingWife
I mean, have you ever had that exact conversation with him? Either forgive me or divorce me? And did he say no, thanks I prefer to keep torturing you? And have you ever said then I will divorce you?