I sincerely believe she had narcissistic personality disorder so personal growth wasn't in the cards for her, but was that my decision to make?
What difference does it make how you behave in a relationship that is entirely fake?
You can't be in a authentic relationship with a person you aren't allowed to disagree with. Your mother did not tolerate disagreement, so your mother did not care to know the real you, ergo it was not an authentic relationship.
So, what difference does it make how you acted in a fake relationship? Is acting fake in a fake relationship suddenly a mortal sin, even when forced to act that way?