I can't believe my luck. I thought she would out live me.
I thought she would out mean me, that I wouldn't be able to carry on with grace much longer, that I would become her meanness to protect my soul.
I think of MelodyLane the same way -- someone who is determined to extract the greatest amount of misery out of everyone she encounters. Determined to hurt people to make a mark, to hurt for the sake of hurting because that's easy to do.
I'm happy. Happier than I can ever remember being in my life.
I'm also incredibly, weirdly tired. I sleep 10-12 hours a night.
But when my anxiety accelerator reaches out for what is wrong -- and there's a lot still wrong -- it doesn't have the usual, "I have to call that woman tonight."