Seeing and experience the death of a loved one up close and personal is hard. My grandmother was the 1st for me to experience it. I had gone to many a funeral but losing her was hard. She was a good person and a great kind of grandma.
I miss her dearly.
My mom's passing was very hard on me for many reasons. My father's death was hard for the most offensive of reasons, which may put us as having different experiences but he was my parent and I mourned his loss.
Your experience of your dad's passing may change how you view things, may be allow you to accept and understand why we suffer as we do. Know even if we have been through these kinds of experiences whether there is more to life or not.
It does enhance one's perspective.
Several of us have lost parents recently. We gain some comfort from those around us who truly understand what we are going through and the others who are able to reach out and empathize with us and for us.
When my mother passed, I had just left the hospital. She was comatose towards the end but she was alive when I left. I had not even dropped off my friend who had stayed with me. I turned around and drove right back to the hospital.
When my grandmother passed, I was the only one at the dining table that had a twinge that shook me right as I was sitting. My mom asked me what was wrong, I couldn't really explain and later we found out that was just about the time she died. Sigh that was a shocking experience for me. My grandmother and I had a deep connection.
Does the comfort of knowing our loved ones are not suffering from their illnesses anymore? It may a bit. It also hurts a lot. Understanding both ends of that and all in-between may help.
LG, we are here for you, ok?