You just can't imagine how jarring it was. I feed people. It's my ministry, and I don't say that lightly. It's not just feeding -- I'm a care giver. It's not what I do -- it's what I AM. The pay sucks and the performance reviews aren't great but you may as well ask me to change my eye color.
Lots of things can get us unhinged, whether for a minute, days, or weeks... maybe a longer period. The point is to get back to what is true in you.
You didn't have to care for your Dad anymore. There are others.
What a wonderful reminder to anchor myself to the core of what I am.
I posted elsewhere that it appears my job in life is to be available. All my siblings work full time. When there's a casket to be chosen, or a funeral to be arranged or an illness to be nursed, I'm it.
It's been an extremely rough 14 months. I'm trying to process it all without making any decisions about anything. If, in fact, my faith is gone forever, I have to create a construct to tether me to my values.
Right now, I feel like if Hitler and I end up in the same place -- dust -- I may as well do whatever the hell I want. I'm just not seeing a upside to ethical behavior.
The president isn't helping. He is living, breathing proof that you can lie and cheat and steal and attain the highest office in the land. Why shouldn't I lie and cheat and steal to get what I want?
Before I start on that plan, just to be on the safe side, I need to make a billion dollars. It seems like a billion dollars is what's required to insulate one from any consequences. I'll get back to you on how that's going.
The 73rd Psalms is helpful when my mind goes to the bolded.