I am so sorry you are still caught in that web of grief, LG. I remember it well. I did all kinds of things to numb it. Better to just allow yourself to go through it, believe me. As you do, you become used to it, I guess. That is the best way I can describe it.
And yes, I know you do not feel like your perspective is appreciated or the norm here. I think you are wrong. I think it is important and I definitely think it is important. But I understand how hard it is to be that lone voice. I can see why you are not willing to trade peace to swim against that current.
And I also know what it is to have traded certain things to stay in a marriage that is not perfect by any means. Again, not the perfect solution or a popular one.
Just want you to know you are not alone. And not without support.
When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg