SW, I appreciate your kind words more than you can know.

I stopped posting here because what do I have to say of relevance? I can appreciate the pain of the spouses who are struggling with affairs on both sides but for God's sake, everyone is still alive and the situations all seem to me to be redeemable if folks will pull their heads out of their nether regions and really LOOK at their spouses and themselves with clarity and dignity. I get agitated when I see advice that undermines the dignity and autonomy of the affairing spouse.

The unfaithful wife has to be a superstar to work towards a Major League marriage? Is there a vomitorium handy? The sports metaphors alone indicate a mysoginistic mentality that makes me nuts.

What about HIM being a superstar to retrieve his wife for a Neman Marcus marriage?

You'll never see that here.

With respect to my marriage, I have an intact family and I am content with that. That was my choice. It's frequently hideous but so what? My kids didn't ask to be born into this mess and I'll be godamned if I will put hem in a position of choosing between me, their dad and the in laws for every family event.l

You don't have to love, or even like, your spouse

Bidden or not bidden God is present.