I think I'm in post crisis let down. I've been on an adrenaline fest since March 29. My brain doesn't want to work. I don't want to talk to anyone who doesn't want to talk about the fact that John is STILL outrageously, inexplicably, intolerably DEAD and Mike is alive and what does that even mean?
[Bleep!] is John dead? How did that even happen? My brother and his wife Meg are the finest of people who do great things for the community, they have three lovely sons who have struggled with different issues and successfully overcome them, and now they have two.
I don't know who to blame. The psychiatrist told Mike and Meg to get the guns out of the house, and Mike thought that was unnecessary and Meg couldn't find anyone who would take them for storage, including the very small local police force.
I wonder what that feels like to have a mom say, "please, mr police man take these guns out of my house to keep my son safe" and then 12 days later respond to the call to that address that a 27 year old male shot himself in the family den.
What do you do with that? It seems it is childishly easy to get a gun in Texas, but more difficult to get them out of the house on a short term basis. This feels like a solvable problem -- have the police station provide check in lockers. Might be used for any number of reasons -- small children visiting, a depressed drunken relative staying for the holidays, lack of space or resources to have a proper gun safe.
I think I might be a tiny bit mad at Mike and Meg. John's room looks like an arsenal. Guns and ammunition everywhere. Clinically depressed child who has tried multiple anti-depressant regimes with varying degrees of success. What could possibly go wrong?
Then I think about the courage involved in their honesty -- admitting they were told to get the guns out of the house -- I stand in awe. I would take that secret to my grave, yet it was the very first thing my brother told me with an insanely terrified look in his eye as if to say "this really can't be happening."
When I think over my life to the times I have seen the face of God in my fellow man, his face is the first image I will recall.