Sorry for all the things happening. I hope for a time for peace for everyone in your family.
You asked your H to come with you. He declined. Not your circus. He made his choice. It is NOT your choice. You had to come. He does not feel that way.
Bring the shelter...
Finding an ethical way to deal with pain, fear, disappointment etc..is part of the experience of becoming a stronger person...one who is driven by compassion instead of compulsion...ie I have a legitimate reason to be stressed out right now...however, my response to it will determine how others percieve me, and myself. (quoting Star*Fish)