See, that might actually work since neither of us has any idea what the other's phone number is. We'd have to reach out to other MA-ers trying to find the number.
The other MA-ers could make it a game. Each one could say "no, sorry, I don't have Hold's/ LG's number. Why don't you call ___? I have their number, it is ____." It would be like a MA phone tree. Except functioning as a complete run-around.
I am thinking after the 3rd or 4th call saying "I want to kill myself, but I promised LG I wouldn't do it without calling her first, can you please give me her number?" that even an oblivious loon like me might catch on to the game.