LG: Thank you for letting us walk your walk with you. I am always impressed with your brutal honesty here. Please keep sharing.
As for torn between husband's job and grandchildren, I would fight hard to see if financially you can do both. That is, hubby only gets you to move to Houston with him if you keep a small apartment in Colorado or you help the kids buy a place large enough that there is an in-law area for you in their house. So that you can spend large blocks of time with them when the grandchildren arrive. You can push for getting part of what you want even if you can't get everything you want.
I am guilty too often of black and white thinking. All or nothing. Whatever you do, don't be like me. I know, too late. Well, it is never too late. At least that is what my Mom and wife tell me. You don't think they could be right, do you?