Originally Posted By: sw
Why is she refusing to get your father into assisted living? What are her reasons?


The short answer is she needs him to take care of her -- she's unable to drive and is more or less an invalid.

She doesn't want to leave the house. Period. He'd like to move but his wants and wishes are irrelevant to her.

I know this is a common fact pattern but good God -- what an incredible mess.

I just don't think I can bring myself to deal with that again, and I fear that's what I'm looking at doing when I go on Wednesday. If I can't do it without throwing up -- and I don't think I can -- I will have let down my siblings and I can't stand that idea.

My mother slept through both of my dad's toileting mishaps, so she has no idea what it was like.

I feel a LOT better since I sent that note. I'm not sure why. I haven't heard back from any of them and don't expect to as we will discuss all when we are together.

But I'm not budging even though I know I'm going to lose.


Bidden or not bidden God is present.