My mom and I were the primary care givers for one of my grandmothers. I did the cleaning after here and helping her bathe. It wasn't shameful, it was done out of love and I tried to keep my grandmother's dignity in tack.
The beautiful thing about my grandmother was that she never complained. We would laugh more than anything and she wold tell me about her 'watermelons' vs my tangerines or maybe persimmons. I was too small to be a cantaloupe, LOL!!!!
Whatever my grandmother needed to be comfortable was what I would try to do. I'd rather clean her up than leave her lying for any amount of time in a mess.
LG, next time you need help and your children ask to help, let them. You are teaching them to be caring.
Remember, even the Queen of England needs assistance at times.
I lost my shame after I gave birth. Those doctors and nurses saw everything.......I didn't want to be remembered as the patient who farted but the nurse said if I did, that's ok. She told me to be comfortable and the staff would work around it. LOL!!!! Ok, then......