I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I'm still struggling with my husband's recovery from heart surgery and 6 months have gone by. They keep telling us these procedures take a very long time to heal from. I don't know if that's true. I hope it is because if this is my future? I don't know if I can bear it.
You are so dedicated to doing your best by everyone. I'm in awe of your beautiful soul. Your idea of writing letters vs calling each day is such a good one! Maybe just call once or twice a week now. Or even every other week? Who knows what the right intervals will be. Maybe you can write something each day and not mail it but a couple times a week. You will find something that works. You're so smart and with that conscientious heart, you're bound to figure something out.
Hugs to you for your struggle and your efforts
When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg