OH, I so get it. I was at therapy yesterday, talking about our debt, and she was telling me I was going to have to make the hard decisions and invite DH to participate and, whether he does or not, go ahead and make the changes. Because he flatly refuses to talk to me about money, because he knows he's screwed us over. And it just made me cry when she said that, because I don't WANT to have to be the one doing all this. I WANT a DH who will do the hard work, not hide from it. I want a DH who protects his family. Granted, he's working, in a job he hates, so I shouldn't complain. I guess I just grieve for the relationship I want. Like you.