The entire first year of marriage, "bait and switch" was a term I heard often out of him. So perhaps we both did it.
In the FIRST year of marriage? Wow. I didn't realize the issues had that kind of shelf life.
Though in my defense, I don't think I presented anything differently than the person I am. I had a job. I was in graduate school. I was interested in XYandZ things. I loved where I lived.
Do you think HE would say that the pre-M presentation was similar to the post-M presentation? I'm not sayin' that they WERE different but whether he thought they were -- and in what context...
The things that changed after I got married were...I still had a job, but it was a different one that I hated. I didn't like where I lived (we moved). I wasn't in school anymore. But I was still interested in XYandZ things. Just no time to do them.
So, post-M, you didn't like what you did for a living, or where you lived. You weren't in school anymore, and you couldn't pursue hobbies or interests that you enjoyed due to time constraints. And you were married....
So, if I could wave the magic TBC wand, and teleport you to the place you want to live, and allow you to work in a job that you enjoy, and give you free time to scrapbook, or hunt buffalo, or do whatever interests you, how would that affect your outlook on your M? You would, in essence, just have other aspects of your life that would DISTRACT you from your M -- aspects that aren't present right now.
I'm not sure what my point was, but in case you're wonderin', I don't have a magic wand. If I did, I'd probably use it on myself. (Wow, now THAT didn't exactly come out right.......)