Somewhere, somewhere on this forum I think, someone wrote about the perils of having your spouse fall in love with a person they *think* is you, but is really NOT you.
I think there is quite a bit of that going on in my marriage. The entire first year of marriage, "bait and switch" was a term I heard often out of him. So perhaps we both did it. Though in my defense, I don't think I presented anything differently than the person I am. I had a job. I was in graduate school. I was interested in XYandZ things. I loved where I lived.
The things that changed after I got married were...I still had a job, but it was a different one that I hated. I didn't like where I lived (we moved). I wasn't in school anymore. But I was still interested in XYandZ things. Just no time to do them.