the only difference I can see is that alcoholics have the ability to avoid the substance that causes them problems.
People can make a choice to drink or not. Not all alcoholism is a result of disease. ALL depression is a result of disease. A person is attached to their brain and do not have the choice afforded alcoholics. The distinction is huge.
If you want to know what I think she should do you just need to read the thread...it has been very clearly spelled out.
As for people seeking treatment with cancers...the nature of those diseases do not impact a persons motivation.
People with depression are eligible for SSI. I have suggested that OH press that issue.
This discussion has been going on for quite some time...before this thread on MA.
If OH wants info just on how to leave...here it is. Pack your stuff and go. The courts will decide if the kids stay or go with you. Be prepared to pay support. Simple. Easy. She KNOWS how to leave....her indecision suggest it is deeper than that.