OH, I'm gonna be honest with ya, I just skimmed your thread and didn't read in great detail. Sorry....lol.... What stuck out to me from the very beginning is your willingness to stay for the kids at the expense of the kids. Now before you get all defensive, hear me out. First off, what are you showing your children on how a marriage/relationship should be? Secondly, while this has you bent, stretched, and stressed to the core, what do you think that's done to your relationship as a mother to your children?

I don't know what the answer is but do know that right now you are crippling those kids IMHO. A couple weeks ago, I had to confront a situation with my 15yo daughter. The hardest part was watching her struggle understanding the punishement her mother (my X wife) dished out when my daughter did EXACTLY what she learned at her house, from her relationship with her BF. My daughter accepts that unacceptable behavior as normal because that's what she sees mom do day in and day out......

And if he's a drunk, get the hell away, I'm a recovering drunk with 6 years sobriety and can tell you during my addiction I could bargain and cheat but didn't understand anything but cold hard consiquences.... Anywho, gotta run just thought I'd throw in some food for thought......