NED has some great suggestions. Also remember the purpose of NC. It is a temporary status while you get strong enough to be able to deal with him as he is vs as he should be.

NC is a technique to discourage interaction with the WS. The less in front of a Ws, the less it causes his focus. Depending on the type of WS he has become or becoming, the distance will make it easier to disconnect or force him to fight to win back his family.

WS' have short attention span, they also tend to rewrite history badly. Knowing those 2 pieces of WS tendencies will help you know what to expect and how to prepare for it.

So you don't have hide anywhere. No one needs to hide but each needs to own their choices.

I remember telling the WS he was not allowed to come to our home grouchy. That he needs to show his 'happy face' because it came at the expense of our pain. So we can show pain but he was not allowed to.

Now just the fact I made that demand, he was going to fight it. Imagine the weird disconnected half smile and growl because his physical side couldn't handle the dual personality fighting within.

This information empowered me because I didn't have to receive or accept that face in my home. Changing the locks helped. I made it so that if he was allowed in (his office was in our home - he was a gardener / landscaper), I could leave off the deadbolt and he could come in. I controlled his access. Once he got through is head that he was a guest vs resident, it became easier. Until then it was like dealing with an addict and I had to be tough. It was temporary so I planned accordingly. Periodically, I'd remind him that this was not a battle he needed to have. He wasn't and din't win at that one. He slept in his truck for several months (in the winter) in protest. I learned not to feel sorry for him.

jmo,
Orchid

orchid you are absolutely right. I've been trying to convince myself that the addiction does not define who he is. that if he is trying to get help for it then he can recover and be a better person but right now …. his choices, his actions and words do all define him. he can either be a WS or choose to recover from it. Right now, he is not choosing recovery. I know he is not my husband. he is not the man he was and that i still want to believe he can be, i have to live in the now - not some fantasy land that I want to live in. again, this is why i come here. i need the reality check. the sanity check. thank you..

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Your Ex made some choices and he doesn't like the consequences. Reality is hitting him in the face and it hurts.

My Ex chose to get his new life and abandon his kids. He wants a relationship with them now. But it is 5 years too late.

Is she the broker/owner of the real estate office? If not, at the end of the contract, when you've aligned with a different realtor, go in and have a sit down with the broker and tell him/her what this gal is pulling on gutting the price at the beginning of peak selling season and your other concerns. That way the boss knows why the contract went away and he can either train her or invite her to move on. I'd do that in addition to a YELP review.

Yes the OW is a piece of work. I laugh because I can still hold my head high and I will never give her any satisfaction of reacting.
Unfortunally I do not have anyone who could or able to purchase the house. I wish I had.
Also this realtor suggesting alterative is a huge laugh she's is only looking for a quick pay out.
She's a joke as well... should hang out with the OW.

Watching some news reports of several tornado touchdowns in the GA & AL areas.

Tornado: GA & AL

The Florida panhandle and SC have received tornado warnings.

If you are in those affected areas, please let us know (when you can, how you are doing).

Please be safe.

Take care,
Orchid

Sigh, i think I have been forced to experience most of this list of 80 and even more. .

While this is a hard list to believe much less experience, it is important to know this list is based on real experiences that can and have happened to many of us. We should not be fooled into thinking 'this can't happen to me'. That kind of denial is dangerous and fuels most affairs.

Thanks for sharing this list. It is a healthy reminder of what life during an A really sounds like and the feelings it invokes is chilling.

jmo,
Orchid