BE,

Need to tell you that your decision is nothing for you to be ashamed of in any way. Your decision is so you and your family can be safe.

Post when you are ready but know the road you are traveling is well worn by those who have traveled it before you. Watch out for the bend ahead and that pothole just up the middle after the bend.

Like Blair suggested, vent here as needed.

Take care,
Orchid

Thanks so much team. I’ve been working a lot on my health, getting my skills up to date, and being active in volunteering.

Aloha,

Watch this short clip about an Oklahoma Surgery Center interview with it's founders. Entitled: What is direct primary care? An alternative form of health care avoids insurance altogether.

Direct Primary Care

An interesting read.

Orchid

Cat, I realize my comment is too late for this latest dilemma.

I see you waffling once again when it comes to your own stuckness. Why?

You have great clarity in recognizing and responding FIRMLY to boundary issues when it comes to advising others on this forum.
But...when it comes to your own situation, well, you simply melt into a puddle. It is as if you have two different personalities inside of you.

I am thinking specifically about your excellent obervations and advice to Obl.
However, when it comes to execution, Obl has it all over you. He KNOWS what his issues are, and he takes active measures to address them.

You are in a far worse circumstance than he, both emotionally and financially, yet are stuck in wimpy waffling.

Seeking validation for your uncertainty or insecurity won't get you anywhere but to validate that it's okay to waffle (which is a major form of avoidance).
Avoidance of what? Of enforcing your own boundaries, instead of constantly negotiating affirmation of your ambivalence and lack of power.

Come on, you KNOW what to do. Till you do it, you will be playing this fiddle forever. Maybe that is your true goal.
There is no half-way.

My thoughts...

Hello Firework,

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P.S. When you see a blinking envelope near the top right-hand side of your display, that's the "You've Got Mail" indicator. Please click on the blinking envelope to check your PMs (Private Messages).

She's not worth responding to. Keep ignoring anything that isn't about the kids or finances.

Per Wunderground.com: Flash Flood Watch until SAT 7:00 PM CDT
...FLASH FLOOD WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT THROUGH 7 PM TODAY... The Flash Flood Watch continues for * Portions of Arkansas, Louisiana, and Texas.......

To our MA ohana in those regions,

Please let us know how you are dong. Please be safe.

Take care,
Orchid

Aloha,

I just got this from my cousin. Our family eats asparagus on a regular basis. Yes, it can be an expensive veggie but I think it is worth it in reasonable amounts.

Want to share this with you all.

Subject: Asparagus DO NOT FAIL TO READ THIS AND SEND TO YOUR FAMILY &FRIENDS When I was in the USN, I was stationed in Key West, FL. I worked at the clinic at Naval Air Station on Big Coppitt Key just a few miles north of Key West. The hospital at Key West was for out- patients only, for retired armed forces personnel that lived in the area. If you needed to be hospitalized you were sent to Homestead AFB Florida. I had the day off and just went inside the hospital (Corpman barracks were next to hospital). There was a retired Navy man that worked in the lab and he was very interesting gentleman to talk with. He was a retired biochemist from the USN. He asked me what was going on that day,and I said I had the day off. I wish I was working, as the crew on, today was taking a sailor to Homestead as he had a very bad kidney infection. Now this elderly gent told me the man should have eaten more asparagus, and he wouldn't have that problem. I asked why? I'll never forget him saying, do you eat asparagus? and I said yes, I love them. He replied you notice how your urine stinks after eating asparagus? I said well I never thought it was what I ate but yes it does have a pungent odor. He said, It is because it is detoxifying your body of harmful chemicals!!! This was back in 1986 when I was stationed there and to read this email again I had to share this story...Eat more asparagus, my friends.
Asparagus -- Who knew?

My Mom had been taking the full-stalk canned style asparagus, pureed it and took 4 tablespoons in the morning and 4 tablespoons later in the day. She did this for over a month. She is on chemo pills for Stage 3 lung cancer in the pleural area and her cancer cell count went from 386 down to 125 as of this past week. Her oncologist said she will not need to see him for 3 months.

THE ARTICLE:
Several years ago I met a man seeking asparagus for a friend who had cancer. He gave me a copy of an article, entitled "Asparagus For Cancer" printed in the Cancer News Journal, December 1979. I will share it here, just as it was shared with me: I am a biochemist, and have specialized in the relation of diet to health for over 50 years. Several years ago, I learned of the discovery of Richard R. Vensal, D.D.S. that asparagus might cure cancer. Since then, I have worked with him on his project. We have accumulated a number of favorable case histories. Here are a few examples:

Case No. 1, A man with an almost hopeless case of Hodgkin's disease (cancer of the lymph glands) who was completely incapacitated. Within 1 year of starting the asparagus therapy, his doctors were unable to detect any signs of cancer, and he was back on a schedule of strenuous exercise

Case No. 2, A successful businessman, 68 years old, suffered from cancer of the bladder for 16 years. After years of medical treatments, including radiation without improvement, he began taking asparagus. Within 3 months, examinations revealed that his bladder tumor had disappeared and that his kidneys were normal.

Case No. 3, On March 5th 1971, a man who had lung cancer was put on the operating table where they found lung cancer so widely spread that it was inoperable. The surgeon sewed him up and declared his case hopeless. On April 5th he heard about the Asparagus therapy and immediately started taking it. By August, x-ray pictures revealed that all signs of the cancer had disappeared. He is now back at his regular business routine.

Case No. 4, A woman had been troubled for a number of years with skin cancer. She developed different skin cancers which were diagnosed by the acting specialist as advanced. Within 3 months after beginning asparagus therapy, the skin specialist said her skin looked fine with no more skin lesions. This woman reported that the asparagus therapy also cured her kidney disease, which had started in 1949. She had over 10 operations for kidney stones, and was receiving government disability payments for an inoperable, terminal, kidney condition. She attributes the cure of this kidney trouble entirely to the asparagus treatment.

I was not surprised at this result as `The elements of materia medica', edited in 1854 by a Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, stated that asparagus was used as a popular remedy for kidney stones. He even referred to experiments, in 1739, on the power of asparagus in dissolving stones. Note the dates! ---We would have other case histories but the medical establishment has interfered with our obtaining some of the records. I am therefore appealing to readers to spread this good news and help us to gather a large number of case histories that will overwhelm the medical skeptics about this unbelievably simple and natural remedy.

For the treatment, asparagus should be cooked before using. Fresh or canned asparagus can be used. I have corresponded with the two leading canners of asparagus, Giant and Stokely, and I am satisfied that these brands contain no pesticides or preservatives. Place the cooked asparagus in a blender and liquefy to make a puree. Store in the refrigerator. Give the patient 4 full tablespoons twice daily, morning and evening. Patients usually show some improvement in 2-4 weeks. It can be diluted with water and used as a cold or hot drink. This suggested dosage is based on present experience, but certainly larger amounts can do no harm and may be needed in some cases.

As a biochemist I am convinced of the old saying that `what cures can prevent.' Based on this theory, my wife and I have been using asparagus puree as a beverage with our meals. We take 2 tablespoons diluted in water to suit our taste with breakfast and with dinner. I take mine hot and my wife prefers hers cold. For years we have made it a practice to have blood surveys taken as part of our regular checkups. The last blood survey, taken by a medical doctor who specializes in the nutritional approach to health, showed substantial improvements in all categories over the last one, and we can attribute these improvements to nothing but the asparagus drink. As a biochemist, I have made an extensive study of all aspects of cancer, and all of the proposed cures. As a result, I am convinced that asparagus fits in better with the latest theories about cancer.

Asparagus contains a good supply of protein called histones, which are believed to be active in controlling cell growth. For that reason, I believe asparagus can be said to contain a substance that I call cell growth normalizer. That accounts for its action on cancer and in acting as a general body tonic. In any event, regardless of theory, asparagus used as we suggest, is a harmless substance. The FDA cannot prevent you from using it and it may do you much good. It has been reported by the US National Cancer Institute, that asparagus is the highest tested food containing glutathione, which is considered one of the body's most potent anticarcinogens and antioxidants.

Just a side note... In case you are wondering why this has not been made public, there is no profit in curing cancer.

Take care,
Orchid

Very impressive! You two seem to have done more learning and growing than most people I've seen. Especially that part about showing him the pictures of you and what you still accomplished. Men very easily take women for granted cos of their mothers, so good job. High hopes for you.

NS,

You are already paying it forward. Your thread when read gives a good road map to those who feel lost in this journey. Some take a long time, others travel down this same road faster and stronger. Each person has to set a pace that works. Moving too fast is not safe, neither is moving too slow or not at all. So balance and pacing one's self is important.

Yes, we share some of our stories primarily as a tool to help others learn what may come their way. Some of our experiences are hilarious upon reflection and how we endured that along with other events is well, mind blowing in many instances.

I appreciate that you see value in being on MA. Paying it forward is something we all can do in a variety of ways.

Keep up the good work.

Take care,
Orchid