Author Archives: AlTurtle

Boundaries In Marriage – Part I: Couples In Intimate Relationships

Couple On A Crumbling Wall

Boundaries in marriage pose challenges to many. Even as I began to understand Personal Boundaries, I am still stunned by what happens with a couple in a committed relationship.  People constantly tell me that they can get along with anyone except their … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part VI: When Your Boundaries Conflict With Someone Else’s

Children-fighting-over-teddy-bear-small

“That is my desk. Please leave it alone.” “No, it’s my desk, and I’ll use it whenever I please.” Until now, this series has focused on more clear-cut personal boundaries, including property ownership. But what happens when ownership is shared: more … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part V: Boundary Position Statements

Referee: Out of Bounds

“That is my desk. Please leave it alone.” “If you do that again, I will leave.” “I will not let myself be treated this way.” Have you ever said these things, or something similar? Most of us have, which is good. … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part IV: Boundary Attack Awareness

Two Knights Fighting in Front of a Castle

Have you ever felt upset? What about: Angry? Indignant? Frustrated? Resentful? Battered? Agonized? Furious? I think that we all have. These emotions are part of the human experience. They are also signs of a Boundary Invasion. Now that we know what Boundaries … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part III: The Energy of Boundaries

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“That doesn’t feel good.” “Dammit, stop that!” “I’m leaving!” Have you ever said any of the above, or something very similar? I think that we all have. These statements are Defending Your Boundaries. How do we choose the appropriate defense … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part II: Defending Your Boundaries

Roman Legionary Gate Guards

“He keeps crossing my boundary!” “She thinks I’ll put up with this.” “Why do I always let people take advantage of me?” “Why can’t I say no?” “I try to be nice, but all I get in return is more … Continue reading

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Personal Boundaries – Part I: An Introduction To Boundaries

Medieval City Walls

Do you have boundary problems? Have you been told that you need better boundaries? Do you have trouble understanding boundaries or defending your boundaries? You are not alone. I recall first hearing the word “boundaries” in about 1981. I finally … Continue reading

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Communication Skills: What To Do When He/She Won’t Talk To You

bigstock-Family-Couple-Relationships-small

“My husband won’t talk to me.” “My wife is giving me the cold shoulder.” “When I ask what’s wrong, my partner says, ‘Nothing,’ but I can tell something is wrong.” Do these sound familiar? Do you have trouble getting your … Continue reading

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Practical Steps to Becoming a Source of Safety in Your Relationship

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How do you become a source of safety in your relationship? I was recently asked what practical steps to follow when you see your partner backing away from you – even in everyday situations. I think the questioner was simultaneously … Continue reading

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