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Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444152
09/23/19 01:50 AM
09/23/19 01:50 AM
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catperson Offline OP
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Our house was fine - although the water was in the street in front of our house - but people 5 miles away went under water. It's crazy around here. Some people have been flooded 4 or 5 times in the last 5 years. They just keep letting people build with almost no restrictions and we're running out of non-concreted land, and we're flat as all get out, AND we're at sea level, so there's no place for the water to run off...

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444153
09/23/19 03:16 AM
09/23/19 03:16 AM
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Orchid2 Offline
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Hi CP,

Glad you and your home are ok. You probably know this already but it is good to get a list of all your items, and the cost ready for the insurance and add to it along with pictures. Keep that in a cloud or other safe location so that in case of a disaster and FEMA relief is available it will be quicker to process your claim.

If it's for flooding remember reimbursement only covers living area up to the water line, so basements are usually not covered. If mold or other damage reaches up above the water line in your home, notate it.

The sooner you get these things submitted, the faster your claim can be process. I know this because we had to prepare the itemization often from pictures of already damaged items and create cost assessments. It wasn't easy but the homeowners could have received more compensation if they provided an itemized list.

Take care,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444154
09/23/19 03:27 AM
09/23/19 03:27 AM
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Blair Online
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Hugs, Cat. Glad you are okay. Your area has been through so much destruction the past few years.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444155
09/23/19 12:36 PM
09/23/19 12:36 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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God, we are so disorganized, and our house is so full of DH's junk I can't even imagine coming up with an itemization. But you're right, thanks. Luckily, we don't have basements in Texas, cos we're already at the water line. Thanks, Blair. It's really getting crazy; used to flood every 10 or 15 years, now it's sometimes 3 times in a year. No global warming my backside.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444156
09/23/19 02:14 PM
09/23/19 02:14 PM
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Glad you are high and dry. We are as well. I agree. They need to stop building. It’s ridiculous.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444158
09/27/19 01:50 AM
09/27/19 01:50 AM
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catperson Offline OP
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NED, will you resend me your phone number so we can hook up this week when we're in Florida? I can't remember where you gave it to me. Sucks getting old.

NED, anyone going to be in Orlando this week, we have an extra bedroom at our resort...

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444159
09/27/19 02:06 AM
09/27/19 02:06 AM
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Yes I sent it in Facebook messenger, I can’t wait to see you! I texted RHW too.


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444160
09/28/19 02:17 PM
09/28/19 02:17 PM
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Miranda Offline
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I hope you guys have a great time, while I’m busy moving!!!


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: Miranda] #444161
09/28/19 08:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Miranda
I hope you guys have a great time, while I’m busy moving!!!
.

Miranda, you got the house? .....what this is Cat's thread.....go on your thread and post it so we can start celebrating!!!!

Ho'omaika'i'ana ia'oe!!!!

Orchid


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Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444167
09/29/19 01:27 PM
09/29/19 01:27 PM
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Yes thanks the weather is perfect here and the resort is beautiful! So fun to put faces with the names smile


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444215
10/09/19 12:58 PM
10/09/19 12:58 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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It was great having NED around; she's as nice in person as she is here. smile

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444218
10/09/19 01:24 PM
10/09/19 01:24 PM
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Miranda Offline
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She’s truly lovely, inside and out.

And I’m glad you got some time for fun, Cat!

Last edited by Miranda; 10/09/19 01:25 PM.

When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444219
10/09/19 09:35 PM
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Originally Posted by catperson
It was great having NED around; she's as nice in person as she is here. smile



highfive


Orchid
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444462
12/24/19 05:19 PM
12/24/19 05:19 PM
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Posts: 5,401
Not quite here
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Hey Cat

Just dropped in to say hello. Sounds like a few nightmares but love that you caught up with NED.

Rake care


Married 21years (this year) ~12y since dday(?)
DD16 DS14
Which way do you like yourself? ~ Stosny
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444518
12/30/19 03:33 PM
12/30/19 03:33 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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Hey Squeaky, thanks for checking in! Hope you're doing well!

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444553
01/06/20 01:52 PM
01/06/20 01:52 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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So I live in a pretty nice neighborhood. When we moved here 18 years ago, we were in decent shape financially, then everything fell apart so we've been treading water as the house falls apart in a dozen minute ways. DD and I talked about its value this weekend cos, guess my luck - her in-laws are renting out their house and moving to my neighborhood to a house they just bought - into one of the houses I would have picked: backing up to the lake, super fancy inside, puts mine to shame. Especially given that DH has turned the downstairs into a warehouse for his business, it's full of couches he won't sell and desks someone gave him that he won't get rid of, you get the picture. Every other room is full of stuff from projects he never finished. The house they bought is worth more than ours even though ours is 1000 square feet bigger. And that's not even counting how the house has fallen apart.

So anyhoo it's created a bit of a mental crisis in me, put a fire underneath my feet so to speak. Now that they're a quarter mile from my house, we're probably going to be hanging out more often, and I can't let them see this disaster of a house. For some reason, DH now has 4 or 5 major jobs lined up, big ones he'll have to find workers for, so he's going to be out of pocket for at least the next couple months, getting 4 hours sleep, working every night and weekend (and expecting me to help him). So as much as I finally want to turn this house around, he's unavailable. And I'm still trying to work through the real estate course so I can pass the test (hopefully) and start earning money from one of DH's companies as the agent for when they sell houses. And I signed up for an online certification course at work I have to get through.

And right before I found out about the in-laws, I had just convinced myself to give up some things for my sanity, like I gave up on emptying the upstairs that I felt I needed for peace of mind and I committed to no more than 2 hours a day of tv so I could commit that time to something else.

And I interviewed for a new job, they really seemed to want me, but it will mean harder work. More money which I desperately need, but work I'm afraid they'll decide I'm not good enough for. At least here, I don't think I'm in immediate danger of losing my job. I tell myself losing a job isn't the worst thing that can happen, I've survived it before, but I'm not sure my mental state could handle it again.

I am determined to get in better shape this year, lose weight. Got a physical last month and my cholesterol is up and I have to watch it now. Yay, aging.

So just ranting, please don't tell me what I'm doing wrong; can't really handle it at the moment. Not very upbeat about the new year, but hopeful I can make some headway on all the issues I have going; making headway will help me feel hopeful (I did spend 2 hours cleaning out my office yesterday). I know, First World problems. But they're mine. And I know I have options. I just wish I could figure out what specifically would let me wake up happy.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444554
01/06/20 02:31 PM
01/06/20 02:31 PM
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Ah Cat, and it doesn't matter how much we tell ourselves ut doesn't matter what anyone thinks of us. It just does!

I've bought a project planner notebook to help us to do some stuff here.

It has an index which serves as a todo list and then a page for each item where you can set a start an end date and has sections for the steps to achieve that part.

So I might have clear living Room as an item and then list a shelf or cupboard as a step.

Another task might be decorate living room and then I split that.

I just like yo have little things to tick off. Sanding the skirting board on one wall is a 20min job ✅


Married 21years (this year) ~12y since dday(?)
DD16 DS14
Which way do you like yourself? ~ Stosny
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444555
01/06/20 02:40 PM
01/06/20 02:40 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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Yeah, I did start a to-do list last month. And I took my planner home, I was going to start using it for work AND for personal, I just never got around to it. But you're right. My planner will be my friend this year.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444557
01/06/20 04:08 PM
01/06/20 04:08 PM
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Miranda Offline
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Cat

I’m going to tell you it has taken EVERYTHING for me not to get bitter about the fact that I have filled THREE 20 cu yd dumpsters, by MYSELF! Since my husband died. The cost of this has been astronomical, because they aren’t cheap. And then I’ve had to pay movers TWICE on top of that.

At one point I screamed that I was sorry I didn’t kill the €%~<#%*\+¥ myself! That was a very bad moment for me.

But honestly, I’ve had ONE friend available to consistently help me and she’s pretty elderly and disabled. So she’s mostly emotional support. Otherwise, it’s all been me, in my “free time” while I’m working overtime at my job.

I don’t want to see it get that way for you. It would be so much better if you could do it a little at a time and maybe get people to help you as you go!!

I can’t imagine how hard it must be. But I can guarantee you it will be worth it.


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444558
01/06/20 04:20 PM
01/06/20 04:20 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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Thank you. I gave my couches to DD when she moved into her home and my 'payment' was to be her coming over to help me empty out her bedroom; that never happened. I think I'm going to call her on that. That would be a good place to start and it would empty that room for DH to move all his crap upstairs to that room.

And I was thinking on the way to work how I could get one of our old dead cars out of the driveway by donating it; it's been dead for at least 10 years now, won't be worth anything anymore; so I think one of my first things to do is get the title to it so I can donate it, and put DH on notice that I'm going to do so.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444559
01/06/20 04:50 PM
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cat you know I can totally relate. These things are huge massive projects that pretty much consume every hour outside of work. And that takes a toll of its own. And I get it that you have another time-consumer, your sweet grandbaby, that takes precedence, you need to keep your energy up!

When I got my other house ready to rent, I relied on my kids for the extra man hours, but they were out of town before this last move here. This last place I'd been in less than a year, so much less to sort through. But the stuff that was easy to get rid of was already gone, and I had less than 2 weeks! I have a big family and thankfully they were able to take most of eveything we didn't need, and the rest I boxed up to put in B's garage until I can get back and deal with it. My mantra was Louise Hays' "I have everything I need." It made it a lot easier to part with the things that still meant alot to me. They say feelings follow actions, and that was true for me. I don't regret giving all that stuff away to folks who can use it.

I can understand how DH's attachment to the couches and all makes it harder to advocate for what you need when this this is already so hard for you. He loves you and wants you to be happy, I don't know why there's this disconnect between motivation and action but I'm praying he gets the message in a powerful way. Maybe your doctor would give you a doctor's note. "Cat is excused from the next 2 months of extra work. And she needs a clutter-free home."

In the meantime, you got this, cat, look at how much you have conquered already! Thanks for reaching out today, it's hard to put yourself out there. I asked a friend to send me a reading so I can forward to you, but this is the piece I found online, from Al-Anon's Just for Tonight

Quote
Just for tonight, I will find a safe, comfortable place to lie down and close my eyes. I will remind myself I am both deserving and in need of rest. I will look forward to awakening to the new day, feeling rested and ready to follow my Higher Power's guidance.


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444560
01/06/20 07:31 PM
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One item at a time so you don’t overwhelm yourself. I’m battling the high cholesterol and undesired weight gain as well. Getting old does suck, but we can make it not suck. :-)

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444561
01/06/20 09:45 PM
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catperson Offline OP
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Thanks, guys. No better time to start than now, I guess.

Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: Oblivious2678] #444562
01/07/20 12:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Oblivious2678
One item at a time so you don’t overwhelm yourself. I’m battling the high cholesterol and undesired weight gain as well. Getting old does suck, but we can make it not suck. :-)


I agree. I'm downsizing right now. After the tenting, I have boxed stuff. So I'm now committed to throwing stuff out.

WST's dad just past away last Friday. Son and WSt are going to the mainland for the funeral. I'm lending a hand on some of the arrangements but won't travel for the funeral (several valid reasons) but helping where I can.

Those few days will leave some time for me to do my stuff with this house. Mentally getting prepared. What I also found helpful is that I leave garbage bags on each room's door handle. It's a start to keep throwing things out much easier.

In reality, I can downsize because things are already segregated, just need to do the final steps.

I agree with Oblv, one step at a time will motivate you to continue.

Side note: Reality of life is hitting WSt now. Procrastination is in most cases, not a good thing. Whether it is stuff or life, it is better to deal with the issues vs burying them.

I'm on this side of the world, cheering you on CP. smile

jmo,
Orchid


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Re: I'm learning to talk [Re: catperson] #444563
01/07/20 02:28 AM
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((((((Cat))))

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