It's been a while and hope you all are still reading as you heal.
Here's an interesting article. Let's not make the assumption that all A's or even WS' are narcissist but tbh, most of them follow this similar pattern even if it is as a result of an accidental A. Narcissistic tenancies are very likely even most plotting and deliberating parts of the A and for the long term WS, a tell tale sign. How To Spot A Narcissist—And Deal With All Their Manipulative BS
This is helpful to know even as it is hurtful to know. In part, because the BS and family initially feels guilt, the narcissist as a WS learns to use this guilt from their family as a way to fuel the A. Read the experiences of BS' in their posts and pay attention if you see similar patterns. Not exactly the same but similar. Focus on the path more than the surroundings.
Learn how to identify and handle a narcissist if you find one in your life. This could be at home, work, neighbors, relatives, casual acquaintances, classmates, persons in authority, etc. The arm of a narcissist can be long., raching out to inflict pain and chaos in the lives of many often even in one swipe or over an extended period of time.
Then pay attention by watching the conduct (real life experiences, not made up ones - which narcissist like to use as a distraction tool). Squirrel Moment: Going off on a tangent
This is defined as: to suddenly start talking or thinking about a completely new subject; or to pursue a somewhat related or irrelevant course while neglecting the main subject.[YOU TUBE _ Movie: UP - Squirrel ScenesOvercoming Squirrels & Other Distractions - in leadership
Knowing how to handle and respond along with a lot of patience is important. Also, learn how NOT to be distracted by someone using the 'yelling squirrel' technique.
If you are dealing with a WS/A/OP, this might be worth a read.