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Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443585
07/15/19 01:30 PM
07/15/19 01:30 PM
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holdingontoit Offline
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I do not speak with our son as often as with our daughter. This bothers wife. She wants me to speak to both equally. Impossible since DD answers all calls and returns calls immediately if she was on phone when we call.. I call DS but he often does not answer or return call for several days. I don't want to pester him. I always leave a message and tell him I am thinking about him and am here for him if he needs me. That seems fine to me. Mrs H thinks it is abnormal for me to speak infrequently with DS

Not every parent has the same view on what is "enough" or "appropriate" or "loving". Even when neither parent is WS.

OH, WUD, I am starting new costume for Renn Faire. Switching from wood elf to wizard. Leather elf costume is too hot for midsummer faires. Robe I acquired is very plain. I am thinking of getting silver and black Norse rune beads as accent items. Trying to decide whether to sew them onto the robe or make a necklace. Any suggestions appreciated.


Solutions? There are none. There are decisions.
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443587
07/15/19 02:10 PM
07/15/19 02:10 PM
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catperson Offline
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Oh my eyes! lol

Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443594
07/16/19 12:05 AM
07/16/19 12:05 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,408
whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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Hold: I would definitely adorn the cloak. These costumes appear “medieval” ( rudimentary), but in actuality the attention to detail, craftsmanship is impressive. Great pride is taken. I know.

Elf, huh? Leather elf? Bet that is a sight! Wizards wear gowns, at least you can catch a breeze! The type of material is important, too. Breathable.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443595
07/16/19 12:39 AM
07/16/19 12:39 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,408
whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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Well, Hawaii was wonderful, and I met up with M.A.’s favorite HI State ambassador.
After much protest from DD, ( MOM! You are meeting someone you have never met before in HI ?!?! That “Orchid” is going to be a dude, you watch?!?!”.
Well, as things turned out, Orchid actually IS a lady and is as lovely and generous as a tour guide as she is as an advisor here.
We drove all over the island, Orchid supplying tremendous information on the culture, plants and places.
Not to tell too many tales, While I waited for delicious (muchi?) in Hilo, the “fam” went to get burgers.
Orchid came back wearing a Burger King crown.

More later.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443596
07/16/19 12:47 AM
07/16/19 12:47 AM
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catperson Offline
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That's wonderful.

Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443597
07/16/19 01:43 AM
07/16/19 01:43 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,710
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Orchid2 Online
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HI
Originally Posted by whatsupdoc?
......Orchid came back wearing a Burger King crown......


Awh, just to clarify, the BK crown was worn on my head was because there was nowhere else to put it without squashing it. I am not of royal heritage but I do hail from a samurai background. lol

Also, it's mochi (a Japanese confection, found usually in the shape of a small, round rice cake which can be eaten with condiments such as kinako (roastedsoy bean flour), manju, fruits and other flavorings). It is a soft and should be eaten with care. Usually cooked via steam or baked in a pan sitting in another pan of water. Be careful not to swallow too much at one time but eaten correctly, it is a delicious treat. smile

It was nice to get away for the weekend from work and other drama. Was a bit cautious when driving through the town where my dad used to live. WUD and her family kept it lively so I was able to travel with good memories.

Thanks WUD!!!


Orchid
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443598
07/16/19 01:48 AM
07/16/19 01:48 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,408
whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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It was a great day, for sure. Thanks again.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443706
07/25/19 04:11 AM
07/25/19 04:11 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,408
whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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Hope everyone is doing well. I had foot surgery, two bones cut/ realigned, -total ick, so now I’m off my feet for awhile.
Reading the insterwebz.

You all KNOW reading around that I located a good deal on FB Marketplace, matching pub height stools. I’m paying 20% of the listed shipped price on the site.
Yeah! yuppies who order the furniture first, then never build the rec room to put them in!
These are new, unboxed, and just sitting there, in an empty basement.

Frontgate Chesterfield leather stools.

My gain, but what a pain! . Driving a few hours to get them, but at least I’m off my foot, right? Road trip sounds nice. Rented full sized pickup for $60.
Road trip.
Actually, I have looked over three years for someone with more than three matching stools from this maker in good shape that fit the house for sale. I bought 3 last time and can not locate the 4th.
Now I will proudly have 6. Will probably re home 2 due to space issues. Have to see them in house.

Watch me sell the pair for near what I paid for all six. There is one on eBay one is listed at $599/$100 shipping but there is only one available... they have a similar pair for $1499/ shipping (the more in the set, the more $$$).
Take the gal out of the game, but not the game out of the girl.

...yeah, I’m bored.

Oh, yeah. On a stupid note, xh is friend requesting my family with a bogus Facebook account using his poor mother’s photo and name. RatFink thinks it’s a good way to get a friend request accepted but my sis, cousins , kids (duh, like we don’t know) and ”creep” on things by watching the posts. ..... .... ...
Toad.
This time I told my sister to do whatever the $#&#@$ she wants. Last time we denied request, screen shot then blocked I sent warning to his attorney about stalking.
Now, today? idgaf.
>Great job, Buckaroo! 5 years later - You are so disliked by your own children you have to lie, trick and creep on social media to get any info about them. <
Yup! His plans worked out like exlax.

I got bigger fish to fry. Onward! Towards interior realignment and zen.



Last edited by whatsupdoc?; 07/25/19 04:17 AM.

Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443707
07/25/19 04:27 AM
07/25/19 04:27 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,413
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Blair Offline
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What a great find on those pub stools!

Your XH is a stalker. Does all your family know he's pulling the same garbage again? Have you warned everyone?

Oh, and rest up and get back on your feet soon! smile

Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443708
07/25/19 05:35 AM
07/25/19 05:35 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,408
whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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Blair: Yes, I’m glad I reconsidered my reconsider and contacted seller to buy them. Kind of excited to start in the morning....

Next year is supposed to be the year to get the interior coordinated better- Im supposed to be done with “house” this year)... I knew I’d regret not getting these now. Took a long time to find, have no idea when I’d come across them again. The style, condition and price are a home run. The color of the leather may need to be toned, but I can do that later.

With xh’s mess, it was my sistah who brought it to my attention today. She received a friend request from “Ruth” again.
She was one of the first last time, I believe.
Ruth has severe dementia, bless her. She couldn’t remember my name, let alone my sisters married name.
Years ago we bought her an iPad, showed her games and FB (so she could see all the children growing up) but she could not manage it - 5 years ago.

frown. She was churlish, but the only MIL I had.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443709
07/25/19 05:40 AM
07/25/19 05:40 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,408
whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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Oh, my family knows I’m completely no contact with RatFink.
I’m saying nothing. They will have to figure it out on their own.

I’m the big FB poster of the group. I have a great feed.
+*+*+* wait. .....You don’t think he’s creeping on me? I’d hope not. He’s blocked, as his entire family, since bomb drop.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443710
07/25/19 12:39 PM
07/25/19 12:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,413
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Blair Offline
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Is your FB set to public or private? If it is public, he can see some things on your page. My Ex does the same stalker nonsense too. Is it regret? Is that they want to make sure they left a bad life? I can't figure out the why.

Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443711
07/26/19 01:29 AM
07/26/19 01:29 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
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whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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He and entire tribe from whence he came, is blocked completely Has been for years. Since I only post posts of my normal, sun shinny self, most my stuff is public.
It seems really immature.
Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water... phbsht.

Picked up stools, 8 hours, round trip in traffic, they are really nice, worth the trip. Really era appropriate in my home.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443712
07/26/19 01:32 AM
07/26/19 01:32 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,408
whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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Blair we were married to soul twins, methinks! I can’t even ponder the reasons..., Chumplady calls it “untangling the skein”. It has taken me years to realize she is absolutely correct,


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443713
07/26/19 02:45 AM
07/26/19 02:45 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,413
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Blair Offline
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I have found recently that my Ex posted things about me online that were patently false and ridiculously disgusting. I could sue him for libel if I could prove it was him. A friend IRL told me she saw him type out his name. She was so disturbed that she logged off the website and vowed to not go back. I wish she would have taken a photo or a screen shot and forwarded it to me.

I wonder if your Ex does that too.

Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443721
07/26/19 04:52 PM
07/26/19 04:52 PM
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whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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That’s disgusting! No, I haven’t Experienced that. I hope by now he wouldn’t bother.

Over did it in my boot. Having to put my foot up today. Trying to behave


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443734
07/27/19 04:57 AM
07/27/19 04:57 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,413
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Blair Offline
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Ice and rest. Overdoing it will mean you have to be in the boot longer than originally suggested. Rest now so you can ditch the boot in 3-4 weeks when you have to be ready for school again.

Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443737
07/27/19 06:30 PM
07/27/19 06:30 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,408
whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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Geebusherbertwalkerjones. It took 7 months, but I found my dishwasher model #. Sears sold me an Electrolux with a serial but no model number. Multiple phone/email hours of photo referencing. Zip.nada. Even Electrolux had no idea.
Today I found the same machine on marketplace. It’s a Frigidaire.

Last week an appliance service guy told me to just buy a new one, save the $90 service call, because there was no way to repair it.
I was sadly looking at rando washers for replacement..... I’ll be da*ned, there was my machine, in white, my color- as a Frigidaire. The Frigidaire new gasket is $7.50. Electrolux gaskets are $59.00.

So, happily I ordered new part, I checked, it is the exact profile, now considering buying other machine for front door ( mine is scratched). Goofy.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443738
07/28/19 03:47 AM
07/28/19 03:47 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,413
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Blair Offline
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Oh. My. Goodness. You always manage to find things that nobody else would be able to! How awesome!!

Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443739
07/28/19 12:37 PM
07/28/19 12:37 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 6,408
whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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We live in such a toss away society. I used to be that person, “ oh, I’ll just get another washer, it’s 3 years old.” Now, I would do anything to repair, just on the principle.

Headed over to remove door from aforementioned unit. Already removed Electrolux plate from my machine. For $30, I couldn’t get shipping on a new front panel.
Ciao,, Babies.

Last edited by whatsupdoc?; 07/28/19 12:37 PM.

Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443740
07/28/19 06:38 PM
07/28/19 06:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,413
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Blair Offline
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I still think you should create your own business doing all thr renovations and design work. You do have a gift.

Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443743
07/29/19 10:34 PM
07/29/19 10:34 PM
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whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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This was just sheer luck to find. (How odd Sears sold it.).
Sitting in my just cleaned now crammed again garage, swapped out lower basket, gasket and trim pieces.

If I was not hopping around in a peg leg I’d be tempted to swap the front door panels today and call it done. Well worth trouble of picking it up.

Trying to figure out what will the next steps will be next year on this place. At some point I’m going to have to stop working on this house!!!! . Trying to get more items moved out- yard sale helped...
Possibly going to re decorate main floor. I will have all winter to decide what goes, what stays, what color pallets to use.
Inching closer to my ideal.


Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443744
07/30/19 02:22 AM
07/30/19 02:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,413
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Blair Offline
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When your house is perfectly situated, buy another one in your neighborhood to renovate it with the same period-specific designing. Then you can flip it. smile

Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443776
08/05/19 05:24 PM
08/05/19 05:24 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
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whatsupdoc? Offline OP
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The thing would be the financials, Blair.
I have spent tens of thousands ( even cost cutter budget ) getting this place in order, Even though I make excellent money as full time staff, I’m still just a teacher.

I still have really tight time balancing the $$$. BUT then I realized. I’m choosing (by my lonesome) to do all this. I’m gladly doing this, if I had to do it over again, I’d be in the same place.
And
I will always not be dumping $10k - $20k a year into this place.
This year, alone I repainted/ replastered kitchen, removed slider door/wall to deck and re framed/set new door, had sewer line completely replaced and helped have basement support walls put in and gutter covers... The support walls, sewer were a necessity, slider/redo kitchen a nicety.

I know that all of these are huge jobs, most home owners would only have to tackle one every other year or so... I do them like they are weekend projects....
Even with low estimates, this year alone, I should have paid over $17,300 to get this all done. I’m sure with certain contractors, it would have been over $20k. Actuality, with what i’ve spent I’m still a bit under $6,000.

I gladly will take that deal. Any day. Refi to help my kid $20k, bought a puppy for $900, and went to Hawaii for 10 days.... and saw Hamilton main stage, center, Jack White concert.... .... THAT’S a lot of adventure to be thankful for in a calendar year on a teacher’s salary..
That’s not including the brand new $6,200 in chairs I got for $1,200- hoping to sell 2 off.... oooops. Love the chairs anyway, would probably never find a similar set at this price.

Chairs were to be next summer gig. Repaint/remodel living/dining...

AND no one is making me feel like crap for my decisions.. xh would have had a fit. That’s how he rolled. Even though I paid- or we had money- it was a control thing.

So, Blair, this entire post down memory lane is about my reluctance to start this process all over again. I applied my frantic divorce energy into rebuilding on a budget for myself and kid. But who knows? Once the housing market blows again (ahem) something may just turn up.


Last edited by whatsupdoc?; 08/05/19 05:28 PM.

Me: 50
XH: 13 - well, does emotional age count?
DD1: 24
DD2: 20
30 year partnership...

M: Dec, 1987
Bomb: May 12, 2014
D: Oct, 2015
Ratz.
I am learning how to surf!
Re: WuD? - Moving on. [Re: whatsupdoc?] #443777
08/05/19 05:51 PM
08/05/19 05:51 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,370
midwest
Miranda Offline
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Miranda  Offline
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I’m going to be the exact same way. I already have a dozen projects on the new house. Pretty much all “niceties” and who knows how many “must dos” will turn up. I’ll wind up with way too much in it, most likely, even with my mad “diy” skills and bargain hunting.

I’m ok with that. Because I’m in love with the place. And because I’m turning it into “home, custom home”. It will fill in all my new “found time” which I won’t have a clue what to with. Because I’ve been living at a frantic pace for so terribly long. So it’s a blessing.


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
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