Who's Online Now
1 registered members (Marc878), 3 guests, and 6 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Nonprofit Donations
2019 Campaign Meter
ProgressGoal
$200.00 
$2000
Paypal Donation to MA
 Trending Topics(Posts)
1.My Gratitude Journal29
2.Pulling up a chair11
3.Am I still a doormat?7
4.I'm learning to talk3
5.Learning about life from life........2
6.WuD? - Moving on.1
7.The Joke Thread1
8.Just updating... things do get better over time.1
9.How to deconstruct a marriage.0
10.I am Sick, I am Sad, and I am needing some support.0
*By replies in last 2 weeks.
In The Media(Posts)
Validation to find-win-win slutions2
Things men want3
These Are The Signs You're Dating A Narcissist3
Girlfriend's 'controlling' list of 22 rules for boyfriend goes viral: 'She sounds crazy'9
What Divorced Men Wish They Had Done Differently In Their Marriages7
Alienation of Affection / Criminal Conversation5
Would you pay your ex a 'break-up fee'? - BBC3
Delaware is now first US state to fully ban child marriage - CBS3
Nashville mayor resigns after affair, pleads guilty to theft2
7 Things Kids Need To Do For Themselves Before They Turn 13 - Healthyway1
more >>
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Ace] #409005
05/09/16 01:11 PM
05/09/16 01:11 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,383
midwest
Miranda Offline
Global Moderator
Miranda  Offline
Global Moderator
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,383
midwest
Hope you had a Happy Mother's Day, Ace.

You do realize that losing/forgetting those passwords is nature's way of telling you to visit us more often, right??


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Miranda] #409370
05/14/16 04:54 PM
05/14/16 04:54 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Originally Posted By: Miranda
Hope you had a Happy Mother's Day, Ace.

You do realize that losing/forgetting those passwords is nature's way of telling you to visit us more often, right??


Thanks so much Miranda. We had a wonderful Mother's Day.

As for my prolonged absence, it's been an experiment of sorts to see if staying away from marriage forums will help us progress towards recovery more effectively. You'd think that after 10 years the bad memories would be replaced by new ones and the old triggers would fade away. It is happening....gradually.....but it's been a slow slog.

Actually I am grateful for having a fairly good memory, except in overcoming the effects of the A and multiple false recoveries. It's the repeated D-Days that make it doubly difficult to rebuild trust. I do realize that the blind trust we once had is gone forever.

Again, thanks for you kind words, Miranda. Hope everyone's well.

Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Ace] #409373
05/14/16 05:35 PM
05/14/16 05:35 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,063
SW Chicago 'burbs
Mark1952 Offline
Board of Directors
Mark1952  Offline
Board of Directors
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,063
SW Chicago 'burbs


mark1952.ma@gmail.com

I Was Thinking...

The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.-- Frank Pittman
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Ace] #409375
05/14/16 06:33 PM
05/14/16 06:33 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,726
HI
O
Orchid2 Offline
Ambassador
Orchid2  Offline
Ambassador
O
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,726
HI
Originally Posted By: Ace
Thanks so much Miranda. We had a wonderful Mother's Day.

As for my prolonged absence, it's been an experiment of sorts to see if staying away from marriage forums will help us progress towards recovery more effectively. You'd think that after 10 years the bad memories would be replaced by new ones and the old triggers would fade away. It is happening....gradually.....but it's been a slow slog.

Actually I am grateful for having a fairly good memory, except in overcoming the effects of the A and multiple false recoveries. It's the repeated D-Days that make it doubly difficult to rebuild trust. I do realize that the blind trust we once had is gone forever.....


Recovery does indeed teach us a lot. Btw, those memories (bad ones) may never go away but their impact should lessen with time.

In reality it should never go away, otherwise we may be vulnerable to it's bad effects and can't protect ourselves or help others. I recall a rather unwise former friend demanding I 'forgive my father and go to his A wedding'. Well on that note and a few others, that friend ended a long time friendship. Sad but true and it's not something I regretted nor forgotten. If she ever is able to not be so stupid, our friendship can be repaired but she crossed a hard boundary I had and evidently friendship with my father is more important to her. That's her choice.

So life goes on with us accepting choices and making choices. Hopefully smarter ones as times goes on, hopefully. wink

Recovery does take time so don't feel like you are taking too long. I'm over 15 years past d/d and it still hurts. The double whammy with dealing with my father's A and his subsequent campaign of hurt is ongoing so I have used my experiences to protect myself going forward because believe it or not, I have 'stupid / ignorant relatives and family friends/acquaintances' who don't realize they have been duped to support an A something in their world they claim they abhor.

Consider this life experience as a valuable tool moving forward. I never wanted to experience it but if I had to suffer, as I did then I'm going to make sure I pull some 'lemonade' out so there will be a benefit, even if it is at a great loss. I am not about to give the victory to the WS side of the moon.

Take care,
Orchid

Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Orchid2] #410111
05/28/16 05:11 PM
05/28/16 05:11 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Originally Posted By: Orchid2

Consider this life experience as a valuable tool moving forward. I never wanted to experience it but if I had to suffer, as I did then I'm going to make sure I pull some 'lemonade' out so there will be a benefit, even if it is at a great loss. I am not about to give the victory to the WS side of the moon.


Thanks for your kind words, Orchid.

You're right in that there are some unintended consequences, as well as a few thinly disguised benefits of any of life's challenges.

How we move onward and forward is what's most important. That's one of the many reasons I'm grateful for MA. We have a place to learn and grow with others who have similar---or not so similar---experiences.

Again, thanks,
Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Mark1952] #410112
05/28/16 05:13 PM
05/28/16 05:13 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Originally Posted By: Mark1952


dance2 yahoo dance Rock 'n roll!


Hi Mark,

Thanks for strummin' on by.

Acey waves


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Ace] #410465
06/03/16 01:04 PM
06/03/16 01:04 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,722
NewEveryDay Offline
Advocate
NewEveryDay  Offline
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,722
Acey, good to see you! How has it been? Is less exposure to the fresh pain of new folks here helping to put the painful memories back in perspective?

For me it helps a lot being around this positive momentum the folks here have, rebuilding. But maybe you're more internally motivated than externally motivated?


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: NewEveryDay] #410536
06/04/16 02:18 PM
06/04/16 02:18 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Originally Posted By: NewEveryDay
Acey, good to see you! How has it been? Is less exposure to the fresh pain of new folks here helping to put the painful memories back in perspective?


Hi NED,

Thanks for your reply.

How has it been? It's been an adventure. I think my withdrawal from constant exposure to the fresh pain has actually been helpful for two entirely unrelated reasons:

1. I'm so focused and busy at work that my overcoming my addiction to help forums (having to check in every day and often being late for work during the height of my addiction) has helped me be more effective at work. This, in turn, has helped because it refocuses my energy on my husband, family, church, sports, and other interests and away from my triggers and PTSD that have been affecting me/us for the past 10 years.

2. We are beginning the countdown towards "retirement" transitions which includes creating goals and ideas for the future. The "A stuff" is moving gradually to 'past history' and I can look towards my involvement with help forums as something I'd like to do regularly when our time commitment changes. The "A Stuff" is slowly morphing into life experiences that may give me/us additional avenues to do something I'll post on my other resurrected thread.

Originally Posted By: NewEveryDay
For me it helps a lot being around this positive momentum the folks here have, rebuilding. But maybe you're more internally motivated than externally motivated?


If experimenting with avoidance therapy (taking a break from help forums) means I'm internally motivated then you're probably right. As you and a few others know, I haven't broken any relationships with our 'help-forum' friends my H and I have met IRL during this 'adventure.' So maybe I'm somewhat externally motivated as well.

At any rate, I think I'll answer part of your question on my other thread where private statements are somewhat protected from personal identification.

Thanks, NED. Looking forward to seeing you again this fall.

Acey


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Ace] #410585
06/06/16 02:18 AM
06/06/16 02:18 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 373
L
Lifechoice Offline
Member
Lifechoice  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 373
Originally Posted By: Ace


As for my prolonged absence, it's been an experiment of sorts to see if staying away from marriage forums will help us progress towards recovery more effectively. You'd think that after 10 years the bad memories would be replaced by new ones and the old triggers would fade away. It is happening....gradually.....but it's been a slow slog.



I completely understand your thought here. I don't check in at MA very often, I find I don't like the way it makes me feel to read anything A related. My original plan was to help people move toward recovery and as time has gone on I find it's best I stay away from the subject smile

Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Lifechoice] #410600
06/06/16 06:47 AM
06/06/16 06:47 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Hi LC! waves

Interesting how time has changed your perspective. I'm so glad you signed up for MB the same weekend I did, January 14-15, 2007. You were way down the recovery road at the time but your insights from a different view helped so many of us BS's understand things that had previously eluded us.

In fact, I seldom perceive you as a former WS. I think that getting together IRL with you and DocP is one of the major reasons.

Thanks for posting.

Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Ace] #410683
06/07/16 01:55 PM
06/07/16 01:55 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 373
L
Lifechoice Offline
Member
Lifechoice  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 373
Originally Posted By: Ace
Hi LC! waves

Interesting how time has changed your perspective. I'm so glad you signed up for MB the same weekend I did, January 14-15, 2007. You were way down the recovery road at the time but your insights from a different view helped so many of us BS's understand things that had previously eluded us.



Geez, hard to believe it was that long ago that we met up on MB.

Quote:
In fact, I seldom perceive you as a former WS. I think that getting together IRL with you and DocP is one of the major reasons.


Thanks Ace. I like to think I am very far away from the person I was back when I had my A smile

Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Lifechoice] #410837
06/10/16 01:13 PM
06/10/16 01:13 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Originally Posted By: Lifechoice


Thanks Ace. I like to think I am very far away from the person I was back when I had my A smile



My H is a totally different person than before he had his A. I think it (the bad choice to be selfish) creates a dose of humble-pie that eventually comes back to haunt a person. For him, it was so out of character---as it is for many---that he can't believe he did what he did. At the time, the fog of excitement, secrecy, adventure, and fantasy clouded his judgement temporarily.

In my book both you, LC and my H ARE different people....better than before.

Thanks for venturing back to MA in spite of the bad feelings it may conjure up from the past.

Hopefully, being here and sharing our past errors and current experiences will make us all better people for the future.

Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: *** "A Migration of the Missing Pieces" *** [Re: Ace] #424807
06/18/17 06:36 AM
06/18/17 06:36 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
NOTE: It's been nearly a year since I posted this on StormVictim's thread in answer to his questions. Sorry, SV but it looks like I killed your R-thread with my long post. crying I'll move it over here since it's been over a year since I've posted on my own recovery thread. I'll be back to compare our current status with what I described last June.

Again, if you're still around, I apologize SV. Feel free to kill my R-Thread if ya want. blush

Originally Posted By: StormVictim
#411429 - Sat Jun 25 2016 09:06 AM Re: Wading Ashore [Re: Ace]
Ace
Advocate
Member Registered: Wed Aug 25 2010
Posts: 3260
Originally Posted By: StormVictim


But your note confuses me - and since ignorance is NEVER ultimately bliss, such confusion generates concern. Are you implying that you found your recovery being hindered by continued participation on threads such as MA?

<snip>

So, (and not knowing you at all, this is a truly intrusive question) approximately where in Mark's checklist would you say you and your husband were when you felt it advisable to take a break from actively posting here? And were you satisfied by the change in your marital situation for doing so?



Hi SV,

Again, I apologize for my delay in addressing your thoughts and questions.

Regarding your question about taking a break from online posting and how it affected our recovery.

I took an earlier break briefly from another forum (MB) after one week of posting (January 2007) when I got blasted for questioning Delayed Exposure. I allegedly misquoted a veteran poster who I thought had stated that there are times when delayed exposure might be advisable but such late action could be worse than letting "dead dogs lie" or however that saying goes.

I was off the forums for 2 weeks, researching more on the subject of Delayed Exposure to the other woman's husband. It had been 6 months and I had had what I thought was verifiable NC. My confidence came from my husband telling the site owner and his wife on their radio show that "he would do anything to help me heal" and he was consistently following up his pledge with actions.

In that instance, I took a break due to my own concern for what I was and was not learning. Instead of participating in the firestorm I apparently had caused and possibly getting more confused, I went to the source information and avoided the 'discussion' for 2 weeks.

Interestingly enough, the answer I got was that I should expose to OWH if it would help me heal. If it was for revenge or any other reason, the fact that it might backfire would not be worth the risk. I was advised to tell the OW that if she didn't tell her H what she had done, then I would do it myself.

My situation was very different from most BS's. I was actively trying to be the OW's friend, thinking she would not betray me any longer if she liked me. I had a severe case of what many call Betrayed Spouse fog. I think we have a BS Fog thread on MA.

This happened in January, 2007. Taking a 2 week break helped my marriage at that time because I could keep a focus on what an "expert" said I should do. It also helped when I decided that delayed exposure would help me avoid feeling paranoid about what OW's H might or might not do if he discovered what my H and his W had been doing at a later time over which I may or may not have control.

I took that possibility off the table by exposing to OWH myself, even after 6 months of verifiable NC. I called him first to verify his work address and then sent a packet of photo copies of OW's handwritten notes to my H and their emails about them wanting to get together IRL.

Keep in mind, my H and OW never met one time in person and obviously never had physical intercourse. But they did engage in phone sex so from that perspective, theirs was both a physical and emotional affair or what I call a P/EA. From my experience, emotional interactions can sink extremely deep roots into the infidelity addictions of vulnerable spouses. Quite possibly, those roots wreak more havoc than the quick thrill of a ONS with no emotional attraction IMVHO. That's from what I've read and heard from those who have experienced both.

Did my posting on an online marriage forum help or hinder our marriage and at what step were we on Mark's list?

My guess is that we were around Step #4 at the time. However Step #5, relating to triggers and Step #6--- allowing things to fester by avoiding what could be controversial topics---were also issues for me/us.

I began relying on my postings,--- first on MB in 2007 and then here on MA once we started it in 2010---for my self-recovery goals. Thus I developed an addiction to posting that progressed for 7 years. I knew I needed to change something when I realized that I did not feel like we were recovered after all those years. So I wondered if there might be a possible correlation between my reading and posting about infidelity issues and my inability to progress to where I felt like we were recovered. My husband feels like we are recovered because he has an uncanny ability to forget everything unrelated to sports. But he is sensitive enough to my needs so that he supports me in whatever I think will help me and US as a couple.

There is no question that posting helped us progress in recovery for those 7 years. I was not sure if it hindered our achieving the status of being recoverED but I was willing to find out. In order to do so, however, I knew I would have to break my posting addiction and subsequent withdrawal symptoms that we all know (and love) so well. NOT! blush

In the fall of 2014 my work load changed so drastically that I had very little time to take care of my personal life, our marriage and family, and my job, let alone continue daily reading/posting on an anonymous online forum that continuously reminded me of things I was trying to forget. I was also trying to work on an intense "10 year piles to files" project that I was nearing completion on when DDay 1 exploded and everything got randomly shoved back into several dozen un-labeled boxes. About the same time, some issues developed on MA but I had no time to seek clarification after my brief inquiry led to another question.

I melded all four events (needing to break my posting addiction, increase in work commitment, my piles to files project and my question about MA) to use as motivation to attempt to break my posting addiction. Thus, with zero fanfare I quietly disappeared from all MA forums. Fortunately not many noticed or if they did, I didn't see anything publicly the few times I lurked...and only a few said anything privately. Thus I was able to break the posting addiction I had started over 9 years ago. (In January 2017 it will have been 10 years since I registered and began posting on MB.)

I do appreciate those who called or emailed me during my absence.

In answer to your question about where our marriage is today and if posting or not posting helped or hurt us.

Here are my thoughts in no particular order:

1. Posting helped our marriage by giving me an outlet to vent in a safe space. I have an excellent memory, which is a double edged sword when trying to forget bad images. Even when everything seemed great, my continued posting often brought out issues that others could challenge and thus, possibly help me avoid potential land-mines down the road.

2. I knew that my addiction to posting might possibly be worse than my H's 6 month EA combined with the previous 3+ decades of my willingness to tolerate a sub par relationship and marriage. This was something I needed to do for myself if I expected him to continue changing, too. (More about that later.)

3. I realized that I needed to break my own habits and addictive posting inclination cold turkey. I did not say anything on the forums about where I was going. I just took a break. I occasionally emailed and even met with a few MA friends to update them on our progress but because of the four issues mentioned previously, I had little time to dwell on what I was missing by ceasing posting temporarily and decreasing reading about other's infidelity issues for over a year.

This may not work for others but it's what helped me. We may have been at Step #10 at one time but eventually may have regressed back to Step #5 relating to triggers because of my excellent memory for things I'm trying to forget. Go figure.

In spite of that, I would say that our marriage is much better today for several reasons which I will detail on my own recovery thread soon. (I promise to relearn how to link but in the meantime it's called "Ace's Missing Pieces" on this same Recovery Forum.)

In conclusion, I think that my 2 years of initial posting on MB really helped us on our recovery journey tremendously. Fortunately, I had many veteran MB posters reach out to help me via email when I could no longer post safely there. That's one of the reasons that I and others badgered the eventual founders to create MA in the fall of 2010.

I hope both you, SV and SK will use MA to give advice and get help in ways you may not realize you need until way down the road. And if, after 7 years, you feel like you may need a break to reach the fullest status in achieving a recoverED marriage, I hope you'll find a way to do whatever you need.

In the meantime, I hope you'll both continue to share your stories, seek help for the many challenges ahead---yes there will be more I'm sorry to say---and continue to grow together, using your experiences to help others who find themselves on this un-intended (or for some, initially unknowingly deliberate) journey.

I'm guessing that you two have increased your chances at success because you are both seeking help with changing yourselves, here on MA and elsewhere. My H will most likely never post on a discussion forum for anything, not even for sports. I don't fault him....he's just different. Anytime we need to seek help from our tough MC, however, he's willing to make the appointments so I can't complain.

Again, we appreciate your being here on MA and thanks for asking about our status. I've only glanced at SK's thread (could not read any of it while I only occasionally lurked) but I've been impressed with what you both seem to have accomplished in a relatively short period of time. May you continue to recover your marriage and rebuild it to an even better place than it was before the A-bomb nearly blew it all to smithereens.

Thanks for reading and Best wishes,

Ace

P.S. Sorry to put such a long reply on your recovery thread, SV. Let me know if you prefer that I move/link part of it to my own recovery thread.




We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: Ace] #443123
06/07/19 06:43 AM
06/07/19 06:43 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
It's taken 13 years but I think we've found the missing pieces. I am confident that we have recovered our marriage and have begun building an even better one than we had before.

Thanks to all who helped us on this tumultuous journey. I'll post more on a protected forum.

Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: Ace] #443124
06/07/19 07:43 AM
06/07/19 07:43 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,726
HI
O
Orchid2 Offline
Ambassador
Orchid2  Offline
Ambassador
O
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,726
HI
That's good news, Ace.

Very happy for you and your family. smile

All the best,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: Ace] #443125
06/07/19 11:10 AM
06/07/19 11:10 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,722
NewEveryDay Offline
Advocate
NewEveryDay  Offline
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,722
Acey that’s awesome you both have done the work and both deserve to reap the rewards!


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: Ace] #443132
06/07/19 02:41 PM
06/07/19 02:41 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,405
right here waiting Offline
Board of Directors
President
right here waiting  Offline
Board of Directors
President
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,405
Taa—Daaaaahhhh! Very happy for you both!

Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: Ace] #443135
06/07/19 03:45 PM
06/07/19 03:45 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
We're on the road celebrating a milestone anniversary so no more time. I just posted on the other forum as promised but will be back here soon.

Thanks for your care and concern.

Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: Orchid2] #443233
06/15/19 02:18 PM
06/15/19 02:18 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Originally Posted by Orchid2
That's good news, Ace.

Very happy for you and your family. smile

All the best,
Orchid


Thanks, Orchid.

Appreciate all your support over the years beginning at the other place.

Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: NewEveryDay] #443234
06/15/19 02:21 PM
06/15/19 02:21 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Originally Posted by NewEveryDay
Acey that’s awesome you both have done the work and both deserve to reap the rewards!


Hi Neddy,

Y'know, it seems like we did all the work for all these years but couldn't really accomplish our goals until 'life took a turn' and interfered. Don't wish this on anyone ever (life challenges) but am happy with the results.

Hope to see you and others in Florida in November.

Acey


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: right here waiting] #443236
06/15/19 02:26 PM
06/15/19 02:26 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Originally Posted by right here waiting
Taa—Daaaaahhhh! Very happy for you both!


Hi RHW,

Thanks for your continuously supportive sentiments. It's always been baffling to me how you and I could have one of the same DDays (discovered on one of the few times you posted at the other place) but you and your H seemed to achieve the "state of recoverED" so much sooner than we did.

I guess the most important thing is that we persevered until we GOT HERE. The journey is now a fading memory....unless it's helpful for others down the road.

Like Neddy, we hope to see you and H in Florida this fall.

Ace


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: Ace] #443561
07/13/19 08:46 PM
07/13/19 08:46 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 373
L
Lifechoice Offline
Member
Lifechoice  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 373
I am so happy for you Ace!

Your post forced my out of retirement, lol...I had no idea what my login info was and I feel like I forgot how to post but here I am to congratulate you! lol

Re: ***Acey's Missing Pieces ~ Our Recovery Saga*** [Re: Lifechoice] #443564
07/13/19 11:51 PM
07/13/19 11:51 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Ace Online OP
Advocate
Ace  Online OP
Advocate
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,333
Originally Posted by Lifechoice
I am so happy for you Ace!

Your post forced my out of retirement, lol...I had no idea what my login info was and I feel like I forgot how to post but here I am to congratulate you! lol



Hey LC,

I posted on my "request for help" thread in another forum back in the Fall of 2018 when we were having a major health crisis. Soooooo much has happened. You and others played a huge role. I don't think we'd be together today if it wasn't for that other unnamed forum....not just because of the posts but because of the cyber acquaintances who reached out and became IRL (in real life) friends.

Looks like we're headed back to Florida in Nov. I'm still hoping we can have a mini informal MA gathering part 2. We had a fun time in 2016 with NED, LA, RHW and their significant others and DH/me. Orchid joined us by sending a Care Package of Hawaiian goodies which we opened while Facetiming her from the beach. It'd be fun if you and DocP could join us.

Welcome back....don't stay away so long. ---I know, I know...I've been gone years at a time, too. Had to contact the mods for how to log in cuz I forgot both my password and login name.

Again, thanks for all your help and good wishes.

Ace

PS Just checked and this is my 3330th post! My OCD for multiples of 5 still strikes occasionally.

PPS I just got an invitation to take a Marriageadvocates Survey because I'm a special guest. I deleted it but then realized it might be legitimate. Anyone know?


We're overcoming decades of marital dysfunction including abuse, passive aggression, gas-lighting & infidelity (both of us).

Our Weird and Ongoing Story
Page 6 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6

Moderated by  Chrysalis, Fiddler 

Newest Members
Broken19, Amadhy, Farnell, 805bail, Marcin
2043 Registered Users
Latest Topics(Posts)
Just updating... things do get better over time.5
Validation to find-win-win slutions2
Affair World1
expired security certificate1
....micro-cheating is a thing in relationships, and here are the signs it's happening1
Warning MA Not Safe Message Keeps Popping Up4
Save Marriage After Exposure1
Save Marriage After Exposure223
Share and enjoy!1
Things men want3
Community Information
2043Members
1Penalty Box
6Suspended

42

Forums
8475Topics
461814Posts
 
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.1.1
(Release build 20180111)
Page Time: 0.035s Queries: 15 (0.007s) Memory: 3.3826 MB (Peak: 3.7423 MB) Zlib enabled in php.ini Server Time: 2019-10-19 03:33:11 UTC