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things coming together... #441707
03/24/19 01:13 PM
03/24/19 01:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 29
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2close Offline OP
Member
2close  Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 29

Things are looking up and looking up in my favor..

I have been trying to be positive throughout this whole ordeal with the XH and it has finally
come around to my positive side of thinking...

MY HOUSE IS NOW PENDING!

I'm going to be having a very overwhelming next few weeks.
The Closing date is the last week of April.

Anyway between 2 Birthdays, Easter, many doctors' appointments, dealing with Inspectors, Appraisers, packing, moving,
renting a storage unit, getting things shut off/changed then on top of all that planning a baby shower which will be
the following week after the Closing.

Sheesh! I'm already exhausted just thinking about it.
I maybe overwhelmed and stressed out but I am determined and also very excited!

I have requested not to be scheduled for work on Fridays and Saturdays of the month of April and the first week of May.
My son doesn't work those days and he is the main person who will be assisting me with the move to his house.
I will be staying there until I can find a new home of my own, which my friend L the realtor is now aggressively in search of finding. smile
She has found a few that I am very interested in and in my price range.
I can afford to look into higher price home but I don't want to be cash poor.
I need a substantial savings as a little security blanket.
I always had a considerable amount in savings and won't feel comfortable not having that.

So speaking of my friend, L...
the plan I had hopefully would work out...
DID! smile

L being she had come into first to list the house, well tired to list it last year around this time.
She was basically forced out by XH's bullsh*t but I can gladly state that she is now back in the picture.
She was contacted by the Buyers that I had suggested that they contact.
Now L will at least get 1/2 the commission of the sale of the house.
I feel she so deserve it for what she had to put up with and not getting any payment for all her efforts of trying to list the house..
Well the buyer is the brother of my daughter's good friend. He had mentioned to my daughter that his brother and wife where
coming to the last Open House that was held last month.
Well, trying to make a long story shorter it came down to the buyer asking his brother to ask me if I would be willing to have him contact me.
I agreed and he contacted me a few days later.
Well during the conversation he and I discussed the price and we came to a agreement on an offer.
I agreed to a lower price for the fact that I could be at risk of the court order realtor = CC reducing the price a lot more over time
and I would lose even more than what the buyer was willing to pay.
I also suggest he get in contact with L the realtor since he was not working with a realtor at that time.
I told the Buyer that she would help him with everything he needed to do to with no cost to him.
I also told him that she was also working with me to find me a new home.
So now he is now working with L to purchase the house hence of her being back in part of in the sale of the house.

I of course had a hidden agenda and for a few reasons.
1. L deserves some kind of payment for her past efforts as I have mentioned and getting so harassed by XH.
2. CC would have to spilt the commission for she surly does not deserve to collect that whole commission.
3. XH is NOT going to be very happy about L being back involved especially how L had put XH in his place
when he tried to intimidate and control her of the listing of the house.
L wanted to stay on but she couldn't deal with XH's bullsh*t.
I had found out more on what conspired between them which was a lot more than I was aware of.
XH was calling her all late hours of the night just to scream at her and accusing her of things, ECT.
It got so bad she just had enough and that's when the court order realtor was assigned.

Oh then not only being that buyer is my daughter's friend's brother it turns out that me, L and the buyer's in laws had graduated together.
So when they came back up to relook at the house he's in-laws came with making it some what of a high school union.
They are also fully aware of the situation with me and the XH and do not think highly of him on what he did.
L had told me that the buyer, wife and his in laws were very concerned to the point to ask where I was going to do and where I was going to stay?
Also comments where made about what a scumbag thing XH had done.

Well I decided to be very nice to CC to the point that I had even apologized to her for giving her a hard time.
I sort of played that sympathy card with her as well.
CC had to come up for me to sign and go over the paper work on the Offer,
I was very, very nice to her and when I think back I was sicken nice to her, lol
Probley made her head spin being I have been so awful to her throughout the whole ordeal.
Anyway when she was starting to leave we were standing in the front doorway.
I held the front screen door open as we continue talking with her standing on the porch.
I said to her that I apologize for giving her such a hard time but with the circumstances it was very difficult and that it was a very stressful,
and painful situation with KF living right in my face with the OW.

I may have played it out a lot more on how much the situation bothered me, but honestly I have come to terms with it that it really doesn't bother me.
Also I know the outcome that it will eventually crash and burn between the XH and OW.
I can see it happening now with on how the XH acts and thigs he says.

Anyway she responded that she too had gone through a bad divorce and was sorry, that she can't even imagine what I had to deal with being so close.
I mentioned to her yes, "XH basically sh*t where he slept".
As we were talking I had notice we were being watched (but of course) which I had mention to the CC (realtor) that we were.
When she gradually turned she had witness this as well.
I told her yes, this is a constant thing and if she looked you can see there is also a security camera that it's pointed directly at the house.
That they see my coming and goings and that I have no privacy at all.
She replied that I was basically being stalked and how unbelievable this was.
I figure I will be really nice to her for the simple fact that when we do the Closing XH will expect me to be nasty to the CC as XH knows that I had been during the whole process.
Also CC had informed XH that OW is not allowed to be any part of this process as I had requested.
I did thank CC for informing him of this.
So XH going into this he really will not have any support from anyone and will basically be sitting there by himself.
Also being OW can not be present to speak up for him it will be even more uncomfortable and stressful for him.
I can see him now biting his nails and keeping his head down, squirming in his chair.
Then once when he sees that me and L are very well acquainted with the buyers this only adds to the icing on the cake.
But I will conduct myself with dignity and I will not lower myself with making any kind of comments or rubbing it in his face...
that will be achieved without any help from me.
Of course I'll be enjoying this completely but only in my own thoughts.

So I guess I am seeing somewhat of a payback on what XH has done and caused.
Not to only me but to others as well especially my kids.
So maybe this may help him wake up to the reality on what he has given up and what he has lost
and see that the OW has not given up a DAM thing.
But by these choices were all caused by his own doing.

I am moving on and I am living my life as I see fit.
I have so much to look forward to.
I am a happier and have learned so much from this that it has helped me to become a better person.
I really, really like this person I have become and still becoming...
which I plan on keeping around.










[color:#000099][/color]

Re: things coming together... [Re: 2close] #441708
03/24/19 02:05 PM
03/24/19 02:05 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,726
HI
O
Orchid2 Online
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Orchid2  Online
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O
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,726
HI
2C,

What a great update! Very proud of you. smile

As you can see, not all will fall for the WS and OW's foolishness. Glad you showed dignity and grace. Kindness is greater than hate.

Take care,
Orchid


Orchid
Re: things coming together... [Re: 2close] #441711
03/24/19 03:38 PM
03/24/19 03:38 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 20,449
catperson Offline
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catperson  Offline
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Posts: 20,449
Really happy for you.

Re: things coming together... [Re: 2close] #441720
03/25/19 12:18 AM
03/25/19 12:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 4,426
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Blair Online
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Blair  Online
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Posts: 4,426
Things are looking up for you! Good update and thank you for sharing it.

Re: things coming together... [Re: 2close] #441726
03/25/19 12:15 PM
03/25/19 12:15 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,034
S
SmilingWife Offline
Global Moderator
SmilingWife  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 10,034
That is a great update. I am so happy for you and I can’t wait to hear about your househunting.

Re: things coming together... [Re: 2close] #441728
03/25/19 02:06 PM
03/25/19 02:06 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,722
NewEveryDay Offline
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NewEveryDay  Offline
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Posts: 8,722
2close, that is an amazing update, I’m so happy it worked out in a way that is going to bring you so much peace!

I just want to caution you though, it’s not your responsibility nor always within your ability to make right the wreckage your stbxh causes others. Your realtor made a business decision in deciding to try to work with your wh last year. You are fighting for your life here. You are doing amazing, keep up the great work!


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: things coming together... [Re: NewEveryDay] #441748
03/26/19 01:09 PM
03/26/19 01:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 29
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2close Offline OP
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2close  Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 29
NewEveryDay,


I just want to caution you though, it’s not your responsibility nor always within your ability to make right the wreckage your stbxh causes others. Your realtor made a business decision in deciding to try to work with your wh last year. You are fighting for your life here. You are doing amazing, keep up the great work!

******
Thanks,
and I do know that it's not my responsibility what my now ex husband caused or causes.
He has to pay for those consequences that come with his choices and that's all on him.
It's just bitter sweet that I was able to bring back in the first Realtor.
XH I'm sure he is not to happy that she is especially how things ended with her with her not allowing him
to treat her as he did and her calling him out on it.
He had wanted to control everything and on his terms and he was being so unreasonable and just plain mean.
She had tried very hard to work with him but he was just acting like a jerk (and that's putting it nicely).
However she's a friend and it just work out that she was able to be the back in.
If it were just any other Realtor I wouldn't care and would have never made any effort.

XH is not aware that the Buyers' brother is friends with our daughter and that I recommended L (realtor) to them.
For all XH knows is she was the one that found and brought these Buyers in.
When I recommended her to the Buyers it just was by chance that they did contact her and accepted her as their realtor.
Also who would have guessed we would know the parents of the Buyers and that we all graduated together.
The way it all and is coming together seems that a unseen force of some kind is in effect.

Re: things coming together... [Re: 2close] #441753
03/26/19 02:45 PM
03/26/19 02:45 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,726
HI
O
Orchid2 Online
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Orchid2  Online
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,726
HI
WS are going to always be unhappy.


Orchid
Re: things coming together... [Re: 2close] #442080
04/11/19 02:43 PM
04/11/19 02:43 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,979
star*fish Offline
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star*fish  Offline
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Posts: 3,979
2close--it is so gratifying to hear about this kind of update. It helps other people more than you know, because it's important for people to know that there is life after all of this shyte. The karma bus will come for OW too--and you may be surprised that it will not feel as satisfying as you might expect. When it happened to me--I felt much more sympathetic than I expected to--but of course that's because I have compassion--an attribute that is often absent in OPs.

Best of luck to you!!


"Yes, I'll have the love combo, open faced with a side of respect and large a glass of forgiveness, easy on the ice please--my brother

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