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Indicators of Infidelity #441191
02/15/19 01:26 AM
02/15/19 01:26 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,444
Lil Offline OP

Lil  Offline OP

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,444
Indicators of Infidelity - collated from an old thread I had elsewhere

1. A sudden upturn in their demeanor or outlook on life.
2. Constantly late.
3. More possessive toward wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase.
4. Comes home more often with alcohol on breath.
5. Starts talking about getting together with old friends they haven't seen in years.
6. Starts shopping for new clothes.
7. Starts taking a renewed interest in their appearance.
8. Starts keeping an overnight bag in their car or office, ostensibly for a workout or a game of tennis.
9. Orders dishes or new household items never ordered before.
10. Does not look at other women/men as much as they used to.
11. Starts working late and on holidays and weekends.
12. Express opinions on subjects that they never had an interest in.
13. Takes a new interest in anticipated schedule.
14. Encourages you to visit parents or friends alone.
15. They give you gifts that show a new level of taste or insight about the opposite sex.
16. Car is kept free of paraphernalia belonging to you or the kids.
17. Starts attending extended seminars or conventions.
18. Start using new words and phrases.
19. At odd hours they start remembering things they forgot to do at the office.
20. They suggest that you open up separate checking accounts.
21. Often forget to wear wedding ring.
22. Takes the dog for much longer walks.
23. Makes more phone calls late at night.
24. A marked change of attitude towards secretary, colleagues or friends.
25. Suddenly takes up new hobbies or friends that take them out of the house in the evenings and weekends.
26. They talk about a movie they've seen but you have not.
27. They insist on answering the phone.
28. They call out a different name in sleep.
29. Smell of a different soap from the brand at home and/or you smell freshly showered at 1.00am.
30. They care about how breath smells. New mints, gum, etc. found around house.
31. Uses pre-paid calling card/pager/cell phone for the first time ever.
32. Loses a lot of weight and seems proud of new body.
33. Saddest list item is: change in die-hard pro-life feelings on abortion.
34. Gut feeling. The biggest indicator of an affair is just feeling that it is so.
35. Juvenile behavior and music interests!!!
36. Uses more kid slang than the kids!!!!!
37. Knows all the new pop singers and has CD's.
38. When they lose stuff they accuses you of getting into their "stuff"....
39. Uses the ATM way too much!
40. All of a sudden, their attitude about people who cheat changes, e.g., "we shouldn't judge because we don't know their whole story."
41."It wasn't a dinner date - it was just a way of saying thank you for carpooling"
42."I never lied about being married - she never asked me, so I just didn't bring it up"
43. Grocery shopping and other excuses to get out "alone."
44.The one difference is that my Wife wants our kids to like the other person because in the back of her head she thinks she will be with him. Very sickening. !!!!!!!!!!!
45. Carries toothpaste, toothbrush, mouthwash at all times.
46. When other person is co-worker, can't wait to get to work each day .
47. Becomes great friends with people going through divorce.
48. Defends other who are/have/will cheat(ed/ing).
49. Distances themselves from those with strong (any) moral values.
50. Gets "coded" pager messages at all times of the day and night
51. Tries to have someone kill you
52 Starts to spend a great deal of time on the computer in a separate room.
53 Phone bill goes up.
54 Loses patience with spouse easily.
55 Becomes very defensive.
56. CONSTANTLY criticizes his or her BS.
57 Confuses the term "happy" with the term "self gratification"
58 Becomes extremely religious (remember "god" wants them to be "happy")
59. Asks passively how your day was, then quickly changes the subject.
60. Encourages spouse to "get out more" and to " get a life".
61. Changes ring tone on phone to silent (to silence the MANY texts and calls coming in daily) and never puts their phone down...even when going to the bathroom or sleeping.
62. Accuses you of "spying/checking up/following me around" just for showing up unexpected. Even to your own house.
63. cuts all ties with old friends and starts not making plans for the future with me.
64 Starts accusing BS of cheating.
65. Starts getting short with the kids.
67. Starts accusing BS of cheating.
68. Says things like, "We're growing apart", "You've become more conservative, and I've become more liberal", "We/you have changed"
69. stop having sex with you.
70. Opens FB account without your knowledge because "you don't have to be part of everything do you" and puts the security settings so high you can't even search for his name.
71. Opens up second email account without your knowledge.
72. Tells you one version of a story and his family a different one so that they are starting to doubt you.
73. Stops telling you about their day.
74. Stops talking about that "friend" of the opposite sex
75. Uses the words, "we're just friends. Can't I have any friends? You just want me to be ALONE."
76. Tells you that you are boring/no longer fun.
77. Introduces new "positions"
78. Doesn't introduce you to new friends
79. Stops laughing and joking around with you.
80. Acts like a rebellious teenager.

AKA Lildoggie

Just found out about your spouses affair?
Infidelity Guide For The Betrayed Spouse

Re: Indicators of Infidelity [Re: Lil] #441221
02/19/19 07:20 PM
02/19/19 07:20 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,880
Orchid2 Offline
Orchid2  Offline
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,880
Sigh, i think I have been forced to experience most of this list of 80 and even more. eek . angry very_angry frown

While this is a hard list to believe much less experience, it is important to know this list is based on real experiences that can and have happened to many of us. We should not be fooled into thinking 'this can't happen to me'. That kind of denial is dangerous and fuels most affairs.

Thanks for sharing this list. It is a healthy reminder of what life during an A really sounds like and the feelings it invokes is chilling.



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