Welcome to Marriage Advocates
. I'm sorry you have to be here.
Your wife has done things to harm your marriage, and she is most likely gaslighting you about it. But you do not know all of it yet. Most cheating spouses will lie about anything and everything to save themselves from the consequences.
You mentioned the coach's wife had the copies of text messages. Do you have copies of those messages from the OM's wife? Do you also have all of your wife's text messages?
Have you checked out any other electronic devices she uses, including computers, tablets, etc?
The other thing I wanted to mention is that a lot of people forget to eat enough food and drink water. It is also really hard to sleep, so you will need to make time to rest even if you can't sleep as usual. Talk to your doctor about antidepressants if you need help getting through this. Just explain what has been going on and your doc will understand.