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Can Tylenol and Advil Help You Deal With Infidelity and Marital Crisis? #415125
10/20/16 07:12 PM
10/20/16 07:12 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 12,611
The Dark Side of the Moon
AntigoneRisen Offline OP
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AntigoneRisen  Offline OP
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 12,611
The Dark Side of the Moon
Hi all...

I've been thinking about this topic for a while. I mean a long while. I have been "planning" to post about it for exponentially longer than this thread will be active!

I've read some interesting research that says that emotional pain affects you in the same ways as physical pain. As humans evolved, our bodies streamlined its functions to use the same responses to both.

I've been "preaching" about minimizing emotional pain as compared to physical pain for a long time. Indeed, it is emotional pain that tends to create PTSD. The interesting information I recently unearthed is around a different question, though. If your body processes emotional and physical pain similarly, why not try to treat it the same? In other words: why not take pain pills?

A study performed in 2009 by the University of Kentucky's Psychology Department tested that very hypothesis, with some encouraging results:

Pain, whether caused by physical injury or social rejection, is an inevitable part of life. These two types of pain—physical and social—may rely on some of the same behavioral and neural mechanisms that register pain-related affect. To the extent that these pain processes overlap, acetaminophen, a physical pain suppressant that acts through central (rather than peripheral) neural mechanisms, may also reduce behavioral and neural responses to social rejection. In two experiments, participants took acetaminophen or placebo daily for 3 weeks. Doses of acetaminophen reduced reports of social pain on a daily basis (Experiment 1). We used functional magnetic resonance imaging to measure participants’ brain activity (Experiment 2), and found that acetaminophen reduced neural responses to social rejection in brain regions previously associated with distress caused by social pain and the affective component of physical pain (dorsal anterior cingulate cortex, anterior insula). Thus, acetaminophen reduces behavioral and neural responses associated with the pain of social rejection, demonstrating substantial overlap between social and physical pain.


Critical Thinking: The Other National Deficit

"That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." - Christopher Hitchens
Re: Can Tylenol and Advil Help You Deal With Infidelity and Marital Crisis? [Re: AntigoneRisen] #415293
10/25/16 01:09 PM
10/25/16 01:09 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,282
Rich57 Offline
Rich57  Offline
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,282
I have some thoughts that some of these events are also in line with a period or time of life.

As I look at some of my friends it is amazing how many things happen when our bodies become under stress, be it marital stress, or age related stress.

I think whatever means we must use to over come these stressful areas of our life are needed in order to survive.
We can not run and hide from these things but need to face them head on.

In a somewhat related area another friend of mine that I met on a marriage board, just did this TED talk, on PAIN.


Re: Can Tylenol and Advil Help You Deal With Infidelity and Marital Crisis? [Re: Rich57] #415299
10/25/16 01:39 PM
10/25/16 01:39 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,419
Miranda Online
Global Moderator
Miranda  Online
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 13,419
Thank you for that video Rich.

It's really amazing.

When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: Can Tylenol and Advil Help You Deal With Infidelity and Marital Crisis? [Re: Rich57] #417662
12/25/16 08:31 PM
12/25/16 08:31 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,887
Orchid2 Offline
Orchid2  Offline
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 10,887
Wow Rich, that was a good Tedtalk session about pain.

It is interesting that we as humans in general have to in some degree experience pain in order to learn how to move forward in our lives.

The speaker's experience was personal and he is using his life to help others as well as continue in his journey to be educated in life. It was a moving testimony discourse.

I know we do somethings similar here. It may not be an extreme experience as he had but it is extreme for what we individually go through.

To be able to share and help others even in little ways is important. Little steps lead to a journey that brings memories. Memories are what can help us during times of distress and bring us joy.

I think I get it now why older ones tend to be more patient. I recall my grandmother being a patient woman and wondered how she could do so after so much suffering (loss of a daughter, 2 husbands, sold as a slave at 4 years old and more).

She told me to be patient. I was in my early 20s and didn't understand. She then told me to be patient and later in life, I would understand. It made me angry because I wanted to understand right then and there. Evidently patience wasn't a virtue of mine and she knew it. Impatience and anger ran in her family. Her sons had that tendency and now some of her grandchildren were displaying that awful genetic disposition.

She again told me to be patient and explained a bit more. Her words were few but her meaning and feelings reached deep. I sensed that at the time and had the smarts to know to let her words reach deep down into my heart where I treasure those memories down to this day.

Her words were part of my defensive mechanism when later in life I had to face difficult truths (i.e. H's A, my father's A, sister's betrayal, abandonment by others, loss of fun unborn child, death of relatives and friends, sickness, financial difficulty, other types of betrayal, etc.). They helped me understand why I needed to not rush forward but pace myself, listen, learn and move forward at a pace and on a path that I could manage.

We all experience different things but the basic way to deal with it is similar. Learning to be patient and not quick to anger is important. This does not mean being passive. There is a difference.

My H's family are passive aggressive folks. Big time. That combination has nothing in common with being patient. It is important to be able to distinguish between the two (patience vs passive/aggressiveness).

I learned from my ba-ban (Okinawan for grandmother), that patience with mediation (can also be known as prayer for some) can help us develop good plans and postures so we can know how and when act. This allows us to be skilled (like a samurai - yea, in my family line as well) with our actions. Sometimes it is to be used to cut out or carve into an object but it is always with a purpose not a random act.

Since it is an act with a purpose we must also own that decision and be willing to live with the consequences of it. My little ba-ban was a small statured woman but to me she was massively impressive. Her effect on my life impacts me to this very day.

Ba-ban endured much in her life. At the end, she had little material items. She didn't own a home or have life insurance. She had suffered strokes that eventually took her life. Still her life was full of memories that she shared and made with me. I could listen to her stories all day long and often, early in the mornings we would spend time together and she would tell me stories as she played cards with me (hanafuda - japanese playing cards).

It makes me sad that my son doesn't have grandparents with even 1 tenth of what my 1 single grandmother did for me. He has 3 grandparents left alive and non of them bother to even see how he is doing. One of those grandparents (my father) has even disowned us. My father's life is not one I am proud of.

I am proud of my grandmother (his mom). She was a woman who had dignity and left a legacy that has been shared to help many.

The Bible talks about the day of one's death is greater than the day of one's birth. Initially that doesn't make sense since many celebrate birthdays but only a few celebrate the day of one's death. Still, those words do have deep meaning, if you take the time to mediate on the intent. Then we can make application so our lives can leave a legacy to help others.

This Tedtalk triggered those memories and yes, pain has a way of scarring us and or helping us. Guess it depends on our outlook, which is within our individual control.


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