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Wading Ashore #393122
08/23/15 04:15 PM
08/23/15 04:15 PM
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StormVictim Offline OP
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I would think many of you would be familiar with my "Infidelity" thread, but if not you can find it here.

Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but I think SK and I would now be more in "recovery" than that crisis defined by the other board. Say, more in "Therapy/Rehab" than in "Trauma Center". So I'll start this thread to see if I am correct.

To kick it off, let me post something that occurred to me in responding to KittyCat on the other.

For three months SK and I had zero chance at, or progress toward, getting out of the hole we were in. Most of that was my doing (arrogance plus ignorance is not a useful tonic), but I think she'd say she had a hand in that as well.

What put a start to the process that has gotten us this far had a very unexpected source - She left me.

The estrangement that brought about did not produce a "Eureka - I need him/her in my life!" moment. Instead, in my case, it yielded time, and space. I could commence thinking more strategically about what I wanted in my life without seeing her every day and musing, "How stupid could she be?" I would not be looking at her clothing, and imagining whether ScumBucket enjoyed her wardrobe as much (more) than I did. Her car was not in the driveway with the odometer eternally recording the miles she drove for their dates.

She was not there. I, however, was, and the solitude gave me leave to fully analyze what I wanted, and what would be the best way to achieve those things. I also had a spur in person (but that could have easily been an online presence).

I do not know all the stories of folks here, but of the two I have read, including SFB, there was a similar "break" in attendance upon the spouse, by one party or the other. Those two lasted less time than mine.

Is it possible that such a "Cooling-down, sorting-out" hiatus might be a useful part of a recommended infidelity-repair process, at least for some folks. I do not believe in a "One Medicine, All Symptoms" approach (which is why I'm here at MA) but in cases in which, as in mine, assessment of the offenses hide assessment of the offender, could this be the useful first suggestion?

Last edited by StormVictim; 08/23/15 04:27 PM.

If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #393142
08/23/15 07:35 PM
08/23/15 07:35 PM
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Carolina Blue Heaven
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Carolina Blue Heaven
I agree that there is no one-size-fits-all solution that works for recovery. While there are some things that all affairs and aftermaths have in common, every couple also has unique experiences and qualities that affect the relationship and the chance for recovery.

In 2000 when I found out that my husband's emotional affair had not ended as I believed but had instead reignited and turned into a physical affair I frankly followed some bad advice from another site. I call it Plan Doormat. For over a year I sank further into despair until I could barely function. When I finally reached bottom I did what I wish I had done at the beginning- rented a place and took a vacation at the beach. I took nothing with me, bought everything new, and started over.

For the first time in two years I could breathe deeply and think clearly. After a month I was strong enough to agree to give my husband a chance to put our marriage back together, but on my terms. Two weeks later I came home.

I wish I had walked out at the beginning, but I stayed out of concern for my children and due to some "you have to stay together to have a chance" advice. That did not work for us. Breathing room and time to cool off and sort things out gave us the new start we needed.

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #393246
08/25/15 01:23 AM
08/25/15 01:23 AM
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hi, I'm marie. I've been both the BS (first) and the WS (second).

I'm honestly not sure about a "cooling down" period-- I've never been separated.

as to marital recovery after infidelity, i do think it's wise to keep working together-- to pull together as a team (if possible). i also think it's wise to be kind to each other (be accepting of each other's flaws; be sure to acknowledge and reflect on the POSITIVES).

i would caution you both on creating more distance between the two of you (most likely too much distance got one, or both, of you in "trouble").

i would also caution you both on "faking it till you make it" ... not that anyone has told you to do this, but it is a common phrase that gets tossed around a lot on infidelity forums. i went this route, as the BS, and ending up faking it till i became a plastic, empty shell that looked and talked nice enough, but wasn't really present in my marriage-- not good.

stay. feel. talk. cry. embrace. sit. hold hands. remember the good. create more good. make love. laugh. laugh more.

once the affair story has been told, remember to write the words: THE END. try desperately to close that book ... who wants to re-read the most terrifying novel of their life over and over again? (stephen king ain't got nothing on infidelity)

best of luck to you and your family, marie


may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone. -- e. e. cummings
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: ohmy_marie] #393510
08/27/15 01:43 AM
08/27/15 01:43 AM
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LadyGrey Offline
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Originally Posted By: SV
Instead, in my case, it yielded time, and space.


My husband and I separated on DDay #? for several weeks.

It saved me -- I was such a cauldron of rage and confusion that not one good thing could have happened during those weeks. I planted flowers and smoked pot and refused to talk to anyone.

I think it just depends on the couple and what degree of estrangement/dislike/loathing/indifference they are experiencing at the moment.


Bidden or not bidden God is present.
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #393721
08/29/15 03:45 PM
08/29/15 03:45 PM
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hi storm victim ... will you be coming back to this thread? or, perhaps you are done with MA? thanks, marie

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: ohmy_marie] #394665
09/12/15 04:29 PM
09/12/15 04:29 PM
Joined: Jul 2015
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StormVictim Offline OP
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Just a quick note - Today is my birthday, and SK has a "surprise" party arranged for me. I'm pretty sure she knows I know, but this is one of the few cases in which NOT being radically honest works, I believe.

Otherwise, I will fully return to MA on 25 October. For those asking "What...?", do the math! For any historians, it has nothing to do with "the precious few", "the six-hundred", or "Taffy 3".

See you then.


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #394666
09/12/15 05:00 PM
09/12/15 05:00 PM
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I don't understand your date selection or any of your references. However I am happy to hear that you plan to return.

I'd also like to wish you a very happy birthday.


When we open to this moment and don't judge it or try to change it, even when we're suffering and wish it were otherwise, we tap into the spaciousness of mind that allows us to move forward skillfully, with discernment and joy. -- Sharon Salzberg
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: Miranda] #394667
09/12/15 05:06 PM
09/12/15 05:06 PM
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Happy Birthday, SK! I'm pulling for you and Mrs. Stormy. See you soon.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: believer] #395503
09/26/15 02:36 AM
09/26/15 02:36 AM
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Occasionally, controlling behavior manifests in really obvious ways.


Bidden or not bidden God is present.
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: Miranda] #397169
10/27/15 04:41 AM
10/27/15 04:41 AM
Joined: Jul 2015
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StormVictim Offline OP
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Well, as promised, I have returned, with my penance served.

I did have a bit of fun at your expense with my obscure allusion to historical references. Let me explain:

"the precious few" - part of Shakespeare's speech in Henry V, allegedly given by Henry on the morning of Agincourt, October 25, 1415

"the six hundred" - a portion of Tennyson's poem The Charge of the Light Brigade, written about the Battle of Balaclava, October 25, 1854

"Taffy 3" - a small flotilla of escort carriers and destroyers which performed magnificently against the battleships of the Imperial Japanese Navy at the Battle of Leyte Gulf, October 25, 1944

But let's talk marital recovery, okay?

SK and I have bought and moved into a townhouse here in NY, so we are no longer living as tenants of "R" and "A". She and "A", btw, completed their project and it went online a week ago. For SK it was a memorable checkpoint and milestone in her career. Happy wife....happy life? Let's hope so.

Three weeks ago, our MC told us there was nothing more she could do for us - we were that far along. We have her on "speed dial" in the event of any unforeseen issues, but I don't anticipate calling her anytime soon.

Third parties have told us that ScumBucket is in alcohol/drug rehab - again! - and unemployed. His BW is still pursuing divorce, and it appears old SB will get filleted in the financial resolution. I can tell you it is possible (barely) to outwardly utter the PC "So sad!" while internally composing the "Dance of Joy" I will do if ever I have cause to visit his grave!

SK's Step-Dad will not remain with us through Christmas, it appears. That IS sad, because he was a great guy from the first day I met him.

Well it's late. It's good to be back here, and catching up with so many of you. More later.....


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #397180
10/27/15 01:47 PM
10/27/15 01:47 PM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 3,963
South
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SV,

Great to have you back. Great to hear good news about your marriage and how karma has bit SB. Sorry to hear about SK's step-dad. Thoughts and prayers with you and your families.

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: Oblivious2678] #397272
10/29/15 02:39 AM
10/29/15 02:39 AM
Joined: Jul 2015
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StormVictim Offline OP
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Thank you for your words of support, O2678.

I'd like to explore a note that has hanging on this thread for a month now, without my having much success in interpreting it.

Occasionally, controlling behavior manifests in really obvious ways.

If this had been:

Occasionally, controlling behavior manifests in really devious (covert?) ways.

I would be able to understand that I was being "tweaked" for being in some way dishonest or deceitful. As written, however, the sentence is essentially a tautology, since "obvious" controlling behavior is just...control.

If anyone, including the author, can provide clarification on the meaning, I would much appreciate hearing it. To be clear: I'm not conflicted, just confounded.


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #397282
10/29/15 07:05 AM
10/29/15 07:05 AM
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Orchid2 Online
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Welcome back SV,

For where one has gone and then returned, our lives will be forever...... happy. (written by somebody) smile

Glad to know your MC knows when to bow out and that your lives are moving in the right direction. Even better to know that she is available as needed.

Happy house warming. wink

Orchid

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: Orchid2] #397783
11/04/15 02:42 PM
11/04/15 02:42 PM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 288
StormVictim Offline OP
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I learned this morning that SB will not be divorced by Mrs SB...as he was found dead last night - drugs, booze, and interruption of a required health-maintenance regimen being listed as causes.

I just told SK. She blinked and said, "I don't care, but I know it will make you happy. Thank you for telling me."

Moving on.....


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #397799
11/04/15 04:39 PM
11/04/15 04:39 PM
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MyRevelation Offline
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Originally Posted By: StormVictim
I learned this morning that SB will not be divorced by Mrs SB...as he was found dead last night - drugs, booze, and interruption of a required health-maintenance regimen being listed as causes.

I just told SK. She blinked and said, "I don't care, but I know it will make you happy. Thank you for telling me."

Moving on.....

SV,

Be VERY careful ... this could very well prove to be a two edged sword for you. While if I got the news that OM had died, I'd likely take the rest of the day off, buy a bottle of good bourbon and toast his entry to Hell ... I can also see that if WW showed ANY signs of grieving his passing, it would immediately reset the R clock and maybe even break it altogether.

Strength to you, my friend ... you are entering a very precarious period, where things may spin off in an unforeseen direction.

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: MyRevelation] #397802
11/04/15 04:55 PM
11/04/15 04:55 PM
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Welcome back.

I remember a guy related how after the OM died his wife would watch the sun rise and stare at the clouds. She said his spirit was communicating to her in the clouds and playing the music they enjoyed on Pandora.

Someone suggested sending her a video of him [Bleep]ing on his grave and wondering what the spirits would have to say about that. smile

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: Fergie] #397826
11/04/15 09:48 PM
11/04/15 09:48 PM
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Something seems "off" to me. I went back and checked ... On 7/31 you told me that SK has vowed to not read your threads. Based on recent postings, you may want to revisit that "vow".

You also expressed just how intelligent and quick witted she is ... you know SK better than anyone ... You also know she is very capable of deception. You also know you have some cyber acquaintances that don't much care for you. You may want to reconsider posting your thoughts where they can not be easily seen by (or relayed to) SK.

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: MyRevelation] #397851
11/05/15 04:23 AM
11/05/15 04:23 AM
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StormVictim Offline OP
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MyRev, you raise the exact issue I thought of when the idea of posting to the protected area was first raised. If SK could convince another poster with that access to act as a spy and either transcribe or copy/paste my words to her....well, there would be no fighting that.

I doubt that SK has managed to stay away all this time (Hi, honey!) and I'm in a place now in which that would no longer matter. I know I'm no longer framing my words with her needs/feelings a primary concern. Anything I've posted since my return is free for her perusal.

We're doing very well, my friend. The "buffer" that MA provided so vitally for those key months is not truly necessary now.

Hey! Maybe I'll dash over to her thread, and make the same statement!


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #397854
11/05/15 11:31 AM
11/05/15 11:31 AM
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Orchid2 Online
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Hey SV,

Wow....that certainly is news worthy.

While it is sad that anyone's life ends, some have lived their life in a worthless manner to various degrees by their choices. So it is natural that some will be missed less than others.

I get that. There was a case a few years ago where the OW died on the operating table while getting one of those surgeries that removed pounds of fat. The WS was besides himself and returned to his 'fit' wife. The divorce was not final yet. She took him back. Not sure how they are doing now.

I recall the BS did struggle taking him back because he did mourn over the OW's demise. As a BS it hurt her feelings deeply.

In your case it seems SK has passed the stage to mourn the OM. Or maybe able to minimize it. Part of the healing process and to be expected.

My Xws told me he wouldn't care if the OW died (remember he had a crazy OW who I dubbed - PBR for psycho babble rabbit). I told him then that he should not be happy when a person dies knowing their sins die with them. Conflict of interest? A bit. Either way I knew that as a BS, I could be ok that she died but I wasn't sure I trusted he would be. That was my problem to work through.

He said she (PBR) was dead to him. I told him one day he would get to know the true meaning of that statement.

The only saving grace I get from knowing an offensive OP is dead is that they are no longer creating havoc in the lives of others as they did in mine or those I care about.

I hope this knowledge of the OM's passing helps you both move forward.

Take care,
Orchid

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: Orchid2] #397921
11/06/15 03:24 AM
11/06/15 03:24 AM
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StormVictim Offline OP
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...the OW died on the operating table while getting one of those surgeries that removed pounds of fat. The WS was besides himself and returned to his 'fit' wife.

So, the OW, in an effort to be more like the 'fit' BW of her WH, scheduled a surgical procedure that resulted in her demise?

How AWFUL ! smile

Maybe it's a sign of the distance I've come from the days of being the lost, wandering BH, but that strikes me as irony approaching high comedy. ("OW, wanting to achieve the culinary skill of the woman whose husband she seduced, died from salmonella poisoning from consuming her own cooking...." "Wanting to be seen as athletic as his AP's BH, OM died of a heart condition during his first 5K 'Fun Run'....." )

Yeah, SB is dead. The one concrete positive that will come of this is that BW's "alienation of affection" threats that tormented SK effectively died with him.

Like I said - moving on.......


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #397933
11/06/15 07:32 AM
11/06/15 07:32 AM
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It is really further proof of how much of a fantasy (or horrible soap opera) the A can become. While not all get that crazy, they all go in that direction.

Going down that path is a trip no one will forget. Forgiveness requires more work than merely forgetting. So recovery takes effort as well.

There will be a change to one's heart and mind in order to move forward. For those who think they can 'wait it out' are misleading themselves and holding up their recovery. Maybe more like setting it up to fail.

I am glad you and SK are able to see past all what is transpiring. Neither one of you had an influence on the OM's demise. It is what it is. Noted and got past it.

Good job.

Orchid

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: Orchid2] #399395
11/23/15 04:01 AM
11/23/15 04:01 AM
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StormVictim Offline OP
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It's been a while since I updated this thread, and most of what has been happening is positive...with a few exceptions.

We've settled in to our new home, and a real treat was working with SK deciding on styles and furnishings for it. We had all the time in the world it seemed, and we used the discussions involved to learn things about each other that hadn't arisen in the decades we'd been together.

This Thanksgiving both children will be here...the first time the whole clan will be assembled since April. We've pretty much explained everything to them, but being face to face with both of them is a worry-point with SK. Well, it had to happen eventually, and once it does, I envision checking off an important item of each of our mental "to do" lists.

The downers are flash-back memories triggered by the weirdest items - pictures, music, old electronic-date-book notations. They pop up, bother me for a small time, and then I move past them. I can't wait to exhaust the as-yet-unexperienced backlog.

Keep moving on...check, check, check.


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #400698
12/06/15 08:56 PM
12/06/15 08:56 PM
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SV,

Good to hear from you. Sorry for the delayed post.

This is usually a busy time of year. Seems many an A is identified during the holiday season. Sometimes these traditions brings out the A in the most unusual of circumstances and can even cause trigger points for BS in regards to d/d and other triggering events/sights/sounds/memories, etc. (even smells).

You sound like you are progressing well. Triggers though, you need to know they may still happen. For years even. Depending on how well you and your W work on putting closure on these things and re-establish the trust factor.

It will take time but focus on moving forward and in time you will be able to have a few moments to reflect to see your progress and be glad you gave yourself and your W this chance to heal.

All the best to you and your family,

Orchid

Re: Wading Ashore [Re: Orchid2] #400721
12/07/15 01:27 PM
12/07/15 01:27 PM
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Thank you, O2, for the words of support and encouragement. Yesterday, responding to another member here, it was brought home to me how recently I arrived at MA, and how profoundly life, with the assistance of folks like you, has changed for SK and me.

At the same time, I reflected on how "stuck" are other members in their own less-than-desirable situations, and I started pondering what critical differences there were between those who progress, and those who do not.

It would make an interesting clinical study, I think, possibly along the lines of the studies on the characteristics of those folks who survive disasters, and those who perish.

The critical factor distinguishing survivors from victims of aircraft disasters, it has been found, is the fact that the survivors were often those who listened to the pre-flight stewardess (sorry: flight-attendant) briefings and read the seat-pocket emergency cards. Now, whether the specific information garnered in those moments was causative of the ultimate survival, or merely indicative of an orientation that later contributed to survival, was undetermined.

But if knowledge of (and, vitally, adherence to) the available "marital survival" information - basically the rigor of the MB books leavened by the common sense of MA - was to be measured, I think SK and I would rank very highly.

Life is very good right now, I think.


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
Re: Wading Ashore [Re: StormVictim] #408080
04/17/16 08:32 PM
04/17/16 08:32 PM
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This is by way of an apology, for indirectly raising the tension among folks here.

A bit of back-story: One of the criticisms SK leveled at our relationship in the fallout after d-day was that we were (read "I was") not spontaneous enough in our joint activities. On reflection, I had to agree with her opinion, and resolved to be more.....surprising. The first instance of that was my presenting her with that vacation last summer, about which she had no inkling.

The second instance was this most recent weekend in New York, corresponding with both her birthday (Happy!) and d-day (Not so much!). So I kept mum about my plans, and let her imagine that I would prefer to ignore the first as it was entangled with the second. (On reflection, that might have been too dicey a thing to allow, but...I'm still trying out the new, spontaneous SV personna, okay?)

Most of you know now how this played out. SK told me she was more worried about my psyche than I would have expected, and posted to her thread (which I was given green light to read). I am sorry if any of you kind folks who invested "worry" in our situation last week feel cheated. That was never my intent. (And, believer, how bad was my scorching at your hands to be?)


If you don't want the answer...don't ask the question!
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