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SOs and children #377646
02/28/15 01:14 AM
02/28/15 01:14 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
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believer Offline OP
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believer  Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
My son and his girlfriend (of 2 months) are crazy in love. They have constantly together, and I've mentioned it, his brothers have, and girlfriend's mother.

Yesterday, her six year old daughter had a talk with him.

DD: "Eddie, remember when you told me that I could talk to you
if anything is ever bothering me?"

Son:"Yes, what's on your mind?"

DD: "I don't want to hurt your feelings because I really like
having you around."

Son:(sensing the issue)"Would you like me to give you more time
alone with your mommy?"

DD: "Sometimes I want her to play with me like she used to do."

YAY to that little girl for speaking her mind. My son came home
and is going to give them space. Mom also has had a wake-up call. She's a good mom, and they do include the daughter in most of their activities, but it's obvious the little girl is feeling crowded.

I gave him credit for listening to the daughter, and said I was glad she got through when the rest of us couldn't.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: SOs and children [Re: believer] #377674
02/28/15 04:30 PM
02/28/15 04:30 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,978
star*fish Offline
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star*fish  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,978
wow--cool little girl. "Out of the mouth of babes", huh?


"Yes, I'll have the love combo, open faced with a side of respect and large a glass of forgiveness, easy on the ice please--my brother
Re: SOs and children [Re: star*fish] #377676
02/28/15 04:44 PM
02/28/15 04:44 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,673
NewEveryDay Offline
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NewEveryDay  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,673
believer, why is that, that women put new men over their kids like that? Good thing your son is an upstanding guy who will listen!


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: SOs and children [Re: NewEveryDay] #377682
02/28/15 07:09 PM
02/28/15 07:09 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
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believer Offline OP
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believer  Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20,616
I think she's a very good mother, but under the influence of PEAs. She wants to spend lots of time with my son, and he does with her. However, I'm sure the little girl feels she's been displaced. She needs that alone time with mom, though she does enjoy being with my son.

She's been out on our boat to see Gray Whales, sea lions and pelicans. She's been four wheeling in the desert, and just a lot of new activities.

Son stayed home 2 days and giving them time alone today. Tomorrow it's the new SpongeBob movie.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: SOs and children [Re: believer] #377908
03/04/15 05:51 PM
03/04/15 05:51 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
Surface of the sun
silentlucidity Offline
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silentlucidity  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,791
Surface of the sun
This is exactly why it is important for folks with kids to set early boundaries for themselves and rules of engagement.

I set a rule that no man would meet my son prior to six months of dating. I also never switched days with XH to accommodate any new beaus.

Even now that I'm married I can sense when my son wants alone time with me. When I do, I will go to his room and spend time alone goofing and chatting or I take him somewhere alone with me so we can regroup.

Good on this sweet little girl for speaking up. Good on your son for being a smart, good man and doing the right thing.


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