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Adventures in Dating #339666
03/14/14 02:36 AM
03/14/14 02:36 AM
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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Who's up for some adventure smile

I reactivated my OKCupid profile. I'm not getting good replies though, just Hi and How are you.


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: NewEveryDay] #339672
03/14/14 02:51 AM
03/14/14 02:51 AM
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Be sure to customize your search, NED. That's how I found all my good ones. When you search for certain things, the robot puts your profile in front of those people as a possible match.

You can visit their profile and not message them. I got a reply back today -

"How are you?
Cupid sent me your info today and I liked your Profile!
It says we are good match and I want to learn more about you smile
Write me back when you can.
Hope you have a great day!"

Of course, he lives in Ad Dammām, Saudi Arabia... But he's a 99% match.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: believer] #339675
03/14/14 03:02 AM
03/14/14 03:02 AM
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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That's pretty cool! Are folks like that usually planning a trip to your corner of the world anyway, or just fishing?

I did that customizing thing. Some guy asked me for my cell and I was tired and gave it to him, then he wanted to talk, so I called. What a mistake, he's a badgering type. Can I just message him back and say we didn't click? Or just keep making excuses why I can't talk until he takes the hint?


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: NewEveryDay] #339679
03/14/14 03:08 AM
03/14/14 03:08 AM
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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Believer I don't remember what we did last time, can I like post my profile up in a spoiler box and delete it later?


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: NewEveryDay] #339684
03/14/14 03:15 AM
03/14/14 03:15 AM
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I never gave my phone number out. I messaged and then talked to them on Google talk. You can talk but they don't get your phone number. But, yes, tell him you're not feeling a match and wish him good luck.

You can post your profile and delete it. I don't know about the spoiler box.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: believer] #339697
03/14/14 03:41 AM
03/14/14 03:41 AM
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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I gave my work phone so it wouldn't be tied to my name, then realized that was worse, because then he would know where I work! It's a big company with a bunch of locations but still I won't do that again. I have google voice is that the same thing?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/neweveryday


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: NewEveryDay] #339707
03/14/14 04:17 AM
03/14/14 04:17 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,883
Gateway to the West
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Not2fun Offline
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Gateway to the West
Originally Posted By: NewEveryDay
Who's up for some adventure smile

I reactivated my OKCupid profile. I'm not getting good replies though, just Hi and How are you.


Do you really want my response????

laugh1

Sorry...just couldn't help myself..... laugh


" If you couldn't change your partner when you were together, you sure aren't going to now that you aren't together..." Words of the teacher of the court mandated parenting class...and the ONE thing that stuck out to me!!!
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: Not2fun] #339709
03/14/14 04:21 AM
03/14/14 04:21 AM
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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Hi Not, I could use a good laugh, but missed the joke, can you say it slower?


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: NewEveryDay] #339710
03/14/14 04:38 AM
03/14/14 04:38 AM
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Mine isn't that funny.....more along the lines of....

"Hi. How are you? Male, Cheating douchebags need not apply...."

Obviously, I am SOOOOOOOOO not ready for the dating scene... wink

However, I am in the mood for sarcastic humor....

Proceed Lovely Lady..... cloud9


" If you couldn't change your partner when you were together, you sure aren't going to now that you aren't together..." Words of the teacher of the court mandated parenting class...and the ONE thing that stuck out to me!!!
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: Not2fun] #339713
03/14/14 04:46 AM
03/14/14 04:46 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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Oh, yes, I totally hear you! I'm still just getting off the border of that. And if I remember right I had to keep disabling my account because I didn't like what I saw when I logged in!


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: NewEveryDay] #339716
03/14/14 05:21 AM
03/14/14 05:21 AM
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Yes, NED, Google voice. I haven't done it for awhile, but it was fine to talk to a guy, while not giving him my number.

LOL, it's hilarious that Nottie is here.

But, anyway, I read your profile, NED, and it's too generic. Sheesh, I wish Flowmom was still here, because she had the wording down. You don't want to have a laundry list, and you need to show, not tell.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: believer] #339805
03/14/14 04:04 PM
03/14/14 04:04 PM
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Here....just following along....right now


"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."
Maya Angelou
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: strongerone] #339813
03/14/14 04:18 PM
03/14/14 04:18 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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Believer, but I am pretty generic, my favorite coffee shop is Starbuck's, my favorite restaurant is Ruby Tuesday's, and I love to dance but I don't because I have no idea where to go and don't know anyone else who does know. You mean I have to develop a personality now? Sheesh wink

Shocked, welcome! Poet, want to join us?


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: NewEveryDay] #339841
03/14/14 05:40 PM
03/14/14 05:40 PM
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Flowmom used to talk about being very specific. You could say you love to dance the polka and haven't found a great polka place yet. Then you will attract men who love polka and know a good spot.

I took her advice and said I loved to eat at the Fish Joint and my favorite sushi was their chronic rolls. That didn't turn out quite right because lots of guys thought I was talking about smoking pot. But I did get more than 10 guys who wanted to meet there for sushi. That wasn't bad, because at least I was enjoying one of my favorite places.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: believer] #340004
03/15/14 04:36 AM
03/15/14 04:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
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Violin Offline
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I realized recently that I've been basically single for almost 5 years now. My daughter's are now 12 and 6. My ex has been remarried for almost 2 years now. Sooo, decided to try online dating again! Much more success this time and my profile is terrible! Haha


Me: 36
D9 and D3
Divorce final july 2010
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: Violin] #340007
03/15/14 04:42 AM
03/15/14 04:42 AM
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Wow, look who shows up. Violin! Glad you checked in.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: Violin] #340009
03/15/14 04:46 AM
03/15/14 04:46 AM
Joined: Aug 2010
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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Thanks believer I'm glad I can come as I am, just be more specific about it. Right now I'm afraid to log in to change it because of all the "Hey Baby I like older women" chats that pop up when I log in sometimes. I wonder if maybe they're just looking for a free meal or something? Do you get those too? Do you even respond? Who would want to be called an older woman, that's not like an attractive lead in!

Violin, welcome!


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: NewEveryDay] #340010
03/15/14 04:50 AM
03/15/14 04:50 AM
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Violin Offline
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Hey believer! Yep, I'm back because I thought I could gain some insight here. About a month ago I met someone online and we've gone out 6 times. She's a single mom of two and her ex hubbie cheated while she was pregnant with their youngest who is now 2 years old.


Me: 36
D9 and D3
Divorce final july 2010
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: Violin] #340011
03/15/14 05:12 AM
03/15/14 05:12 AM
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Ouch! I feel for her, Violin. I know you'll be good for her.

NED - Online dating is brutal for men. I get tons of messages like "hi, how are you?" "What's up?" "How was your weekend?".

I think we ladies need to help the guys out by being very specific in our profiles. Give the poor guy a hook to latch onto.

I put one of my interests as "Chess with Friends." I've had tons of responses to that. It's an app to play chess.

Revisit your interests and detail them on your profile. You can list that you collect snails, have out of body experiences, like to SCUBA dive, own a pet pig, or like trance music. Those give a guy an opening.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: believer] #340013
03/15/14 05:19 AM
03/15/14 05:19 AM
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Violin Offline
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Yeah, a rough way to divorce for sure! Question is...After 2 years post divorce, is she stabilized yet? It took me way longer than that.


Me: 36
D9 and D3
Divorce final july 2010
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: Violin] #340014
03/15/14 05:22 AM
03/15/14 05:22 AM
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Violin Offline
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And also believer, I agree with your last paragraph of advice to NED. The guys love openings! Haha ok, seriously though, it does make it easier to send a witty message to a woman.


Me: 36
D9 and D3
Divorce final july 2010
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: Violin] #340017
03/15/14 05:30 AM
03/15/14 05:30 AM
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That's a good question, Violin. I know that for me, being betrayed was life changing. I'll never be the same person I was before, not only with dating partners, but with friends and family.

I'll never be stabilized. It will always color my outlook. However, taking it slow is my mantra, now. And that still doesn't guarantee that I won't be betrayed again.


"I feel sad that I focused so much on his potential and so little on mine."
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: believer] #340018
03/15/14 05:35 AM
03/15/14 05:35 AM
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Violin Offline
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Yes and that's the same for me too. But it has been so long for me that I sometimes forget what my state of mind was like just 2 years after betrayal. I like this girl though and want to be sure I don't freak her out or something.


Me: 36
D9 and D3
Divorce final july 2010
Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: Violin] #340020
03/15/14 05:56 AM
03/15/14 05:56 AM
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I think I agree with believer that the betrayal is life changing and you never completely get over it. In the least, you will at least make decisions with that in mind. Whether you "stabilize"? I think that if you do at least even out the time it takes depends on the individual.

It has been 2 years. It should be better than just one year out, but she is probably still nervous (whether or not she realizes that). I would just take it slow and be reassuring. Trust is probably the one thing that is the most important to cultivate for the both of you.

Re: Adventures in Dating [Re: MovingForward] #340028
03/15/14 11:46 AM
03/15/14 11:46 AM
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NewEveryDay Offline OP
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VIolin I think being single with two babies, one a newborn, would grow anyone up real fast. But believer has talked about looking past the words to the actions. You can look to see if her actions are stable, too.


"I have everything I need." and "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." ~Louise Hays
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